My dad pays me $1000.00 a month for his full time care. Is he paying me too much?

$1,000 a month to work 7 days a week. It’s a bargain! Your sister is selfish and clueless. Tell her to find someone else and she will make a few calls and shut her mouth. Just a few hours of part-time care a week is more.

Your dad must have known what crap your sister was going to start. I hope he has other affairs lined up with his attorney.

I am an LPN. When my Mom moved in with me I went to a lawyer specializing in elder care and had a legal document drawn up for tax purposes, etc. She agreed with this. Even though I DID take care of her 24/7 and retired early to do so, we came up with an agreement. I didn't want to over charge her and yes, even felt guilty for taking money. I based my pay on the average $15 an hour for 8 hours a day. Then that amount times 7 days per week...i.e...$840 per week. Luckily my two brothers also agreed with this scenario. Have your sister look into private home nursing care or a long term care facility. Better yet, have her pay for it....grin. Best of luck to you.

Just me, I did it for free for 2 years, gave up my life & career. Don't get me wrong, not bitter about that at all. But when he does pass away, you're going to find out how petty the rest of some of the beneficiaries can get/are. We paid $ 20/hour for 24 hour care during hospice. That's an external service for $ 480/day and they did less than I did. Paid to a company that took that fee and paid out their shift staff. Healthcare isn't really affordable. Dad wasn't eating solid food, so his meals were Ensure protein shakes. During the 2 years, I did pretty much what you did. Took care of the house, indoors & outdoors, took him to Dr appointments, took care of the elderly dog too. $ 480/day x 365 is $ 175K a year. So understand what you're providing for the family of beneficiaries, because they sure as heck don't wanna pay a 3rd party to get that job done, they won't do it either. Society & your own family has a way of making you do the unpleasant for little or no compensation. I'd have to be a fool to not see that at every point in the recruiting process that the things that needed to steer me into that duty & responsibility wasn't coincidental. And when they're done with you, you have to restart your life. And that's whole different level of hell, depending upon how old your are. I bet they're worried about the terms of the arrangement, that you even have a spare bedroom to stay in and a bed to sleep in. You know, when the end draws nearer, it's not pretty and then there may even be accusations of elderly abuse & neglect. FCOL, Dad was 97 years old at that point. Who would do that ? Even imply that when you've basically given up your adult life elsewhere to watch a loved one, even any human being expire. This world is what it is, a pretty lousy place with quite a few a**holes in it.

It seems to me she's worried about what you're getting paid is going to cut into her inheritance. For everything you do, all you're getting is $250/wk basically; and that's for 24/7 care. If she thinks that's TOO much just let her know in a polite manner that she has no concept of how much is involved and if she would like an extra $300/mo that she can come down and try to take care of him 24/7 for the entire month or she can keep her comments to herself. Sorry if it seems I came across bitter but most people; including family members; really don't know everything that's involved and that includes when they start telling you that you don't care about them or start getting violent.

Your father is generous and she cannot control what he wants to pay. Down the line, he will most definitely need more care and the money will be commensurate. Shame on your sister for not helping. Just ignore her and don't even entertain what she is saying. You are doung a great job for your father and he appreciates it.

Since your sister does nothing to help, then it's none of her business how much he pays you. Tell her to stuff it and that it's between you and your dad how much he pays you, not her. You may need to cut her off and don't take calls or talk to her unless she starts leaving you alone about it.

1. Offer to let her come stay for one month and get the money for that month, do all you do and see if after that she thinks it is enough.
2. Tell her to research the cost of finding someone to come to his home and do this.
3. Ignore her.

Let her try for week long term care is 5000-8000 per month

I'm gathering this is in dollars. I get paid £2816 uk (3573 dollars?) a month and my husband and I look after both parents. We do absolutely everything for them and we're often up all night with my mum who is bedbound. My Dad has alzhiemers and we have to watch him like a hawk. I don't think you're getting enough.. You've given up your life.. Its a selfless act. I've got 4 other siblings and not one of them was willing to do what my husband and I have done.. Left our own home which remains empty to look after and care for the needs of my parents. My husband is a gem and my mum adores him. Hold your head up high.. You're loving and caring and you've shown your sibling up. Much love to you xx

I took care of my mother with dementia, and a bad temper, who sounds like your situation. You spend pretty much every waking hour either worrying or doing something to make sure they have quality of life. No caregiver I hired lasted more than 2 weeks. No, no, no you are not being paid too much. You have a good heart. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

24/7 care from an agency can cost upwards of $220,000 a year! So no, you're definitely not getting paid too much! I agree you should get a quote for a home health care agency for 24 hour care and show it to your sister.

My dad pays $7000 a month in NJ for full time caregiver. You are not paid enough!!!

I am wanting you to know that you should charge $2,000.00 per month.
I give any sibling to come in and do half of what you do, and they will get tired, want a break.

Thank you for doing what you do but please make sure to take care of you.

God Bless.

Where is OP? Wish she would come back and let us know how things are going.

Have your sister do half of what you do and pay her $500 a month. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think $1000 is fair, and sounds like you are appreciated by him. I’m so tired of the siblings not helping then being critical of the one who is doing it all! I’m in that boat too, it makes us feel horrible to know we are being judged. I don’t have an answer for that. Good luck!

It sounds like you are enjoying your Job. Your Dad has you and your care. That is a big deal for him. You are not taking his money. If you ask him....he has lost that "value" in his mind. You are his last opportunity for him to spend his money on what he wants. If there is any left when he dies, your sister will just spend it on something foolish. I am telling you your "caregiving" is like Gold to him. If you have a "caregivers mentality"....when you do not have your Dad...you can name your price and a family who do not have a "caregiver" will be thankful to pay it to keep the person at home.

Let your sister take over for the $300 a month! Revisit the conversation after a couple of months.

I paid a caregiver to sit around playing on her phone $25 an HOUR while my mom slept 16 hours a day, so no, you aren't overpaid.

My mom's next-door neighbor is currently paying $20,000 a month for similar care.

Wow! I am an adult child that has her own house to take care of. I moved in with my parents when my mom was alive almost 6 years ago to take care of my mom for about two months and would only go home on the weekends. After she passed my dad was able to take care of himself. Up until a year ago he went into the hospital with pneumonia and has some other health issues and can not stay by himself full time. I was working pt. at a school so this made it more convenient for me. He gave me some money about 9 months ago that he saved up. I now take care of paying his bills, doing dishes cooking for him, and many other things that it requires in running two households. I have some that I hired individually to come in on days when I'm not here to check on him and he gets meals on wheels. You are doing great. Yes it can be stressful and overwhelming. My brother died three years ago but he was never here to help out. My sister-in-law comes up once every year to every other year and stays not quite a week. I don't expect her to. I wouldn't change anything, because it costs way more to put into a memory unit and most nursing homes will not take them if they have memory problems unless they have a specific unit (Just my experience here). Keep you head up, try not to let your sister get you down. You are doing a wonderful thing.

Even the Adult Foster Care Program pays better than that and those people also get additional Personal Care Hours and some attend Adult Day Health.

Oh my goodness $1000 is screaming deal for your father. Full-time in-home care for my mother cost $18,000. Now she is in a care home at $12,500 a month. Tell your sister to stuff it!

In FL my aunt pays $22 p/hr to Visiting Angels for companion care. That's if she is not a fall risk. The hourly rate goes up with increasing responsibilities, such as giving meds or providing medical care or overnight care. Even if the agency is paying their people $15 p/hr you are not being paid nearly enough. Please call some agencies, put them on speaker phone with your sister in the room and start asking them about their fees. See what she says then.

WHAT??! Maybe in 1975 that would have been a good salary for all of that work, but you deserve at least four times that amount per month for all that work. If your sister wants to look into how much full time care around the clock would cost in the house, tell her to put her seatbelt on and get ready for sticker shock. In the home care around the clock is $27 per hour, give or take a few dollars depending on where you live.

Should the sister be invited to go along? If she is present, then she can see firsthand how the lawyer calculates the numbers on the new contract! If she refuses to go, then it makes an even stronger case that she can't complain later!

I'm just weighing in to agree with everybody else!

Good grief--that's waaay below the poverty level.

When I worked Elder Care I made about $800 a month, part time!! I did not live in--just hourly work.

Yep, go get that contract revisited. Sis is up in the night.

No. In fact, it isn't enough. It should be four times that.

I love the idea of thanking your sister for bringing it to your attention that your contract with your father needs updating!

Make an appointment with the attorney who drew up the original contract about a cost of living adjustment. Everything is more expensive - food, utilities, home maintenance. A cost of living adjustment is reasonable. An attorney will be able to determine whether or not your dad understands the contract and changes you want made to the contract and can sign a new contract. Attorneys must determine whether their client understands and is signing willingly.

In advance of the meeting with the attorney, prepare a budget for your father. Show the amount of expenses you incur monthly having your dad living in your home e.g. gas, food, services such as laundry, cleaning his room, driving him places, etc. Total it up and it probably amounts to a lot more than $1,000.

Remember that you do not need to explain yourself to your sister! Your dad's money, and what he does with it, is his business. That he lives with you now makes it your business as well in the event that you need in-home help for him or memory care at some point. I hope you have durable power of attorney both medical and financial. If not, inquire with the attorney.

Call a few agencies in your area and describe what you are doing and ask how much it would cost to have someone come in and do exactly what you are doing. Minus the financial things. For that call a CPA and ask what they would charge per month to do bills. Add that to what the Agencies say they would charge.
Draw up a contract with the amount that is a median of the figures you have come up with. Include the estimates from the agencies and CPA that you have contacted for costs.
I feel that a contract for a caregiver should be able to be reviewed every 6 months and fees increased if the person has declined so that the caregiver is doing more work. If the person has not declined and the work remains the same then fees and hours would be the same. If there has been a significant decline then work will have increased and possibly the time will increase as well.

Personally at $300.00 a month most caregivers in my area cost between $15 and 20 per hour at $300 that would give you only 15 hours of work per month, are you working longer than that? CPA's can cost anywhere between $150 and 500 per hour lets take the $150 add that to the hours that you put in as a caregiver. Transporting him to doctor's visits and other trips IRS allows I think $0.18 per mile. Add that in if you are using your car. And since you are managing all the doctor visits and keeping track of that a Geriatric Care Manager makes between $100 and 150 per hour.
This is much like the old list that showed the value of a "non working" stay at home mom. Bottom line was that if someone had to pay a stay at home mom for all the things she does no one could afford them.
Same with a Caregiver, this is one of the reasons that caregivers are a VASTLY underrated support when it comes to the actual cost of caring for someone.

At 40 hrs a week even at $10 an hr (thats starting wages for CNA working in a facility where I live) thats $1600 before taxes. You are on call 24/7. So triple that. He lives with you, you are saving him lots more than $1000 a month. You are giving him a roof over his head and food. Tell sister in an AL it would cost him at least 5k depending on his needs. LTC would be at least 10k a month. Dad is getting away cheap.

I am a little confused, you do have a contract with him for the $1000 a month? You are paying taxes and deducting Social Security. If so, you are getting even less. Are you POA?