Financially,physically and emotionally. I have 2 sisters and a brother. One sister lives in the area and will sporadically have dad over for dinner or send 1 of her sons over for an errand (after incessant calling form my dad) Yet she will have him make deliveries for her catering business without paying him. My other siblings live in other states. Their Kids are grown and I still am trtying to develop a lfe as a single mom and a nurse with an 8 year old still at home. My other 2 siblings offer no support other then an annual visit to their home (my sister) a phone call a few times a week (also my sister) nothing else. I have reached out to them for a solution but I get a link emailed to me for "Depression assistance" They think that since my dad allowed me to move in when my husband left, I am somehow his sole indentured servant to him. It has gotten to the point where I pay ALL the bills and if his dinner is late, he literally screams,"Where's my dinner?" Among MANY other things.HELP
Sounds like your dad may have dementia which explains the verbal abuse. Let me say, it'll only get worse.My dad had Alz. Only you can decide if you're going to stay with dad and be his caregiver, are you ready for this journey? Read a lot of the posts here so your eyes will be wide open before you commit. I agree with anne123, there is help for your dad and you can also get that condo you looked at.
You have sibs like most of us, useless and unwilling to share the responsibilities for the parents. They don't have the right to bully you into taking on this load.
Remember, your sons need you and they have to be your first priority. You have to address your depression. Don't feel like all of this is hopeless, you can find a solution. Finding the answers now will save you more heartache down the road. Please know you have lots of company here. It's a wonderful place to learn, vent, share and even laugh.
Without knowing the answers to these questions, I did notice in your most recent post that you became depressed right after your father "reacted badly" to your saying you had found a condo to move to yourself.
This means that your feeling "controlled" by your father is making you depressed. So my thought would be that you would be happy if you could be out on your own. This would be my first choice for you, so that you can be happy and independent, and focus your main energies on your children and yourself. Help could be arranged for your father without you having to live with him----home health aides, and so on.
I hope you get all this sorted out....
I wish I had known about this site earlier. All of you have allowed me to realize I am not alone! THANK YOU, ALL OF YOU!!
If you're a self-reliant woman and your father is too much for you to handle, get your own place after you've arranged for his care. But if you have no income whatsoever to be able to live on your own, then caring for your dad is your job -- so you depend on him as well. Browse the Internet for financial assistance for caregivers so you can have a little something to show for the tons of stress and the sacrifices you're having to make in the name of love.
Are you supporting him?
What concerns me is the way your father talks to you. As a verbal abuse recepient my whole life, it makes me cringe when I see others being abused and it sounds like your dad is verbally abusing you. You don't deserve it nor does your daughter need to be witnessing her mom being abused. Please see if talking to your dad will help. He may be rough around the edges and not realize his words and tone are hurtful. Or he may know exactly what he's doing. If it continues after you've told him he needs to be respectful of you, then you and your daughter need to get out of that environment. If you can't leave, you will have to talk to dad. It'll only get worse with the passing of time. You have to take control because it looks like there's nobody else to help you. Prayers to you.