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In my father's living will he expresses his wishes to die if his expectations of any recovery from physical or mental disability won't happen.
Short version of those who haven't read my other posts. He is 88, broke his femur, refused rehab treatment, sent home, my mom (87) can't take care of his physical needs of getting him out of bed, showers and clean him up etc.... my daughter and I try to get him up and couldn't when he came home and placed in his chair and we sent him back to the hospital. He does have some form of dementia too.
We believe he came home to die.
I will be talking to my mother about this today to see what she feels my dad would want. It breaks my heart to see his wishes for he doesn't want to be dependent on us. I understand his wishes too. Some suggestions on the matter would be greatly appreciated.
You all have been amazing giving out advice.
Thank you so much.

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My dad had very much had it with this world, given the health conditions and the many losses he’d endured it was quite understandable. He made it clear to all that he wanted no intervention that would keep him here. The best way to fulfill his wishes was through hospice. There are often both in home and onsite facilities as options for this. My dad’s was in home, making more of the hands on caregiving be on family. I hired extra help when he became unable to get out of bed any longer. I hope you’re looking into options on this and your dad will be at peace soon, knowing it’s so very hard
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You cannot simply express a wish to die, and then die. The body keeps going as long as it is able, and doctors do not administer medications in any state to help a person die unless there is a diagnosis that the patient is dying of a disease that is expected to cause his or her death within 6 months. With his condition your father may qualify for hospice but there is no real reason to believe he will die within 6 months so they would have to fudge it a bit to help him qualify, and his debility would continue and be very difficult for family to address at home. The answer is not to move him back and forth to hospital; he isn't now requiring acute care and a hospital will not keep him. If he doesn't wish to go to rehab then there should be arrangements for in facility hospice (a rare find today) or for nursing home care with palliative care and/or hospice help.
If you feel your father is making these decisions on wishing to die because he is a burden then it is time to explain to him ways he will not be a burden, but still may have visits and as quality a life as he is able.
This is all something that you need to speak to his MD about. He now needs the full services of a psychological exam to assess for depression and hopelessness. There may be medications to help him.
We don't know all of the conditions extant here. It is important for you to take this up with medical, then speak with your father about palliative care, hospice, placement for care.
I am so sorry you are all going through this.
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Hospice evaluation ASAP.

Seems like the end is coming, make it as painless as possible.
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againx100 Oct 2021
Exactly hospice time. Then he will not be actively treated for issues but mostly kept comfortable and pain free. It might be best off for him and the family for him to be discharged from hospital into a nursing home. This may not be what he wants, but you have to figure out what your family can tolerate. IF he comes home, hire lots of help as his needs are very high and difficult to handle.
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