My friend's family does not care for her. This has led me to spend my own funds and time caring for her. What should I do?

I'll have one more go at clarifying and if that doesn't work I'll give up.

The friend is not a friend. The friend is a 91 year old lady, whose home this is, who has Alzheimer's Disease and lives alone.

The family approached the OP and her then boyfriend and asked them to move in, I think rent-free? in exchange for monitoring the elderly lady, paying their own living expenses.

The OP had a baby, by which time boyfriend moved out. The OP asked her sister to move in to help with managing... everything that needs managing. The family agreed, at first asking $500 a month rent from the sister, but then reducing this to $100 on consideration of the boyfriend's no longer being there.

The OP doesn't say where her other three children are living.

The OP does work full-time, but it is not clear whether the full-time job is outside the home or connected with it. The elderly lady has CNAs attending, but quite often they cancel at short notice and then the OP is (presumably) unable to leave her alone.

I don't know what the other $800 a month which the OP is paying covers.

I also asked where the OP was living before all this happened, I still don't know. What is now clear is that the OP has a small child, no savings, no contract to speak of with this family, nowhere else to live, and no prospect of achieving financial security or reasonable employment conditions as things are.

So what does she do first? Anyone?

And I have to ask WHY do you continue?
As to getting paid for what you have done in the past...that may be a very expensive lesson... There might not be anything you can do. (just to be sure you could check with a lawyer. Many areas have Legal Services that are free or low cost for seniors or low income people.
You can ask the family.
If you wish to continue caring for your friend then you need to discuss with the person that is her Guardian, POA or whatever legal representative she has.
A caregiver agreement should be drawn up and agreed to.
Indicate what you will do and how much you will be getting paid.
If they do not wish to do this and pay you then tell your friend nicely that you can no longer care for her. Inform whoever is responsible for her that as of June 10 (or whatever day you want) that you will no longer care for XXX.
If they do not have a plan by the day you exit the caregiving role report the situation to APS.
After reading more and your responses .....
What "they, the family" is doing to you is NOT legal.
Walk away, contact APS.
Pack your stuff this weekend and do not show up at 3:00 on Monday.
One more word...
It really ticks me off that people can take advantage of someone like this.
It breaks my heart that you allow yourself to be taken advantage of like this.

You basically created an implied contract when you began taking care of your friend. By your ongoing actions, you agreed to care for her for nine hours a day without pay and in fact paying $900/month(?) toward her care. An implied contract is a non-verbal and unwritten – yet still legally binding – contract that exists based on the behavior of the parties involved or on a set of circumstances. By your actions, you impliedly offered to care for her -- and her family, by allowing you to, impliedly accepted. You are always free to talk to an attorney, but don't be surprised if they say you don't have a case. If you want to keep taking care of her, what you need is a new contract. This time, get all the details in writing: days you'll work, how many hours a day, how much you will be paid and when, etc. This is when you should involve an attorney; have them draft the contract for you. Make sure the person signing the contract has the authority, whether it's your friend if she's competent or if she's not her POA agent.

These are suggestions and not legal advice.

Her family has live in help. You. They can live their lives not worrying about the care of their loved one, since you're doing it

So your caring for this woman in exchange for a room. This is illegal. A live-in gets a salary, at least minimum wage. The room and board is a perk. You are literally a slave. At 9hrs a day 7 days a week, at $10 an hour (for easy calculation) you should be making $560 dollars a week. More with 16 hrs overtime. You should not be paying out of pocket for anything that she normally pays for.

My suggestion is to get yourself to Social Services. With an infant you should be able to get help. They can put u up in a Motel and maybe find u a place to live. Give u a voucher for food and Wick for the baby. You are being exploited and they should be reported. This woman can be placed in an AL or in a NH.

A neighbor of my Moms had an aide. When the aide had not been paid in two weeks, she called APS and reported she was leaving a vulnerable senior for non-payment of her services. APS was right there and took the lady to a NH.

Danimama5, I doubt you can claim any legal actions after the fact. After the first $100 out of your pocket, I would have insisted on being reimbursed.

It appears this has been going on for at least 9 months now, so it has become the norm, so there is no legal claim unless you have a written Contract between yourself and the family in this regard.

Ah.

So it sounds as if you have fallen victim to one of those families who think that if they offer "free" accommodation it's reasonable to expect the older person's tenant to provide free care in exchange and just put up with whatever demands are made in the way of utilities bills and so on.

We see such people cropping up here on the forum from time to time, often genuinely believing that they're offering some lucky caregiver a good deal, and never ever do they stop to think what the caregiver is actually supposed to live on. We usually give them short shrift.

You have four children, including a very young infant, and you and they are all living in the old lady's home, is that right? Who set up this arrangement, the elderly lady or a member of her family?

Where were you living before?

She has CNA that come mon thru Fri for 15 hours a week. Sometimes they don't show and I'm not notified until later in the day. My sister had moved in recently to help watch over her at night so I can work. I do provide for my 4 children. And they do come first. I was told in the beginning to pay for half the groceries and it would be rent free. Then it became that I had to pay for all groceries, what she needs including an extra 100 month towards her bills. I only did this because I wanted to help them out. But then it became fear of loosing residency if I didn't do it. Because I haven't been able to save my own money. When mentioned to them (family) that it would be a issue and that I would need to have my own money to save towards a place bc we don't know when she will expire. I was told oh well pretty much because I had agreed to it.

Stop doing what you are doing. Call APS and tell them of the senior at risk. Tell them an immediate home check is required.
Send a letter of notification to a family member that ____________(insert date) as of that date you will not be attending the family member. You don't need an excuse; simply say you will be unable to attend after that date.
The next day call APS and ask for wellness check to make certain family is aware the senior is alone. Do not become involved again as a caregiver. The elder will likely be placed and family will either need to step forward as guardians or the state will.
You will need your own money for your own care in future. It is very poor decision making to spend it on others.
So first the letter and date. Then call APS for wellness checks. Let the family handle the rest or the state will.
Wishing you the best.

Ok, so let me get this straight. According to your profile you have four children(one who is only 4 months old)work a full time job and also work full time for this 91 year old woman, and don't get paid for that, but also have to pay your own money for her care right?
I'm sorry, but something just isn't adding up here. Unless you're Superwoman there is no way that you can be doing all of that and still be alive to tell about it.
Your children must come first, and any monies you have should be put towards their care and not your 91 year old friend. She is NOT your responsibility!!!
So call Adult Protective Services on Monday and report a vulnerable senior, and they will come investigate and they will take guardianship over her, so she will no longer be your responsibility. Then you walk away.
And please start putting your time, energy and money into raising those 4 children and giving them the time they deserve with their mom.

You agreed to do this? Just get out of that mess now. Walk away.

I doubt you could find an attorney to take a case like this.