From time to time he asks for the bathroom, but most of the time he pees on his bed but he makes sure not to pee in the diaper, we explained a thousand times about the diaper but he does that everytime he just either slides it down or to the side and we end up washing his clothes and beddings like 3 times a day or sth and we are very tired of this behavior because not only he pees on his bed daily but he calls us none stop for nothing while when he is in need of using the bathroom he doesn't call he just does it. Sometimes he spends over 30 mn in the toilet and we would be telling him to do his business but he either isn't convinced he is in the toilet or he just doesn't know what to do .
We tried setting bathroom hours but when it's time he refuses to go and he starts shouting .
In the meantime, maybe tone it down a bit when you react to his mistakes.
He might even be enjoying causing you to react.
Place a cold beer next to any viable toilet. Use encouragement and tricks.
I don’t how old your grandad is but
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It is certainly a failsafe, but he clearly has enough sense to be proactive in taking a leak.
Perhaps a suitably positioned urinal bottle would be his 'go to' option if it was readily to hand?
A little 'real time' application prior to urgency might resonate with him also.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+men&crid=3M722H95FVGSL&sprefix=alzheimers+anti+strip+clothing+men%2Caps%2C128&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
The above is a link to an Alzheimer's anti strip pajama; dress grandpa in it before bed, with a disposable brief AND an extra pad inside of it.
https://www.amazon.com/Depend-Incontinence-Maximum-Absorbency-Packaging/dp/B01KOFCNP0/ref=sr_1_5?crid=QGWBBTDUSAVB&keywords=pads+for+depends+for+men&qid=1647739668&sprefix=pads+for+depends%2Caps%2C124&sr=8-5
Then he cannot take off the brief OR his pajama, and that should contain his urine. Disposable pads for the bed should help too:
https://www.amazon.com/Medline-Absorbency-Disposable-Underpads-Protecting/dp/B005FGKPT0/ref=sr_1_12?crid=2W4M2HEHP6BJ0&keywords=medline+chucks+pads+disposable+adult&qid=1647739621&sprefix=medline+chuck%2Caps%2C134&sr=8-12
Good luck
as to your comment about "educating onesself about alz" even health care providers who work with alz patients say to "explain things to them" heck even the alz assocation says that....i find it very frustrating as you and i both know that doesn't work.
if he won’t go along with this, and if it’s gotten to the point where he is smearing poo and his poo filled hands all over the kitchen, the only place for him is a facility where he won’t be subjecting you to the immense risk of fecal oral contamination. That place will be nicer with his house paying for it, surely. In that case get him placed, his house sold, and visit him.
Or, try to add a thick absorbent pad inside the diaper - this will also fill up loose space, and works best when positioned somewhat forward, closest to the tip of penis.
Can you get rubber sheets to put over the mattress, before you put the bottom sheet on it?
Condom catheters are very easily removed, and fall off even when the man is sitting still...probably not going to help.
A medical provider might give him something to take the edge off his restlessness...or a well tolerated antidepressant - taken at bedtime so the sedating side effects help with sleep, and he gets a better sleep, not waking you all up as often.
Also. plain acetaminophen can help with aches and pains that cause agitation, restlessness, shouting.
There are “onesies” for adults that might prevent him from “repositioning” himself. (That’s what I called it when my Husband did the same thing)
Place disposable pads or washable pads under him so that you will be less likely to have to change the bedding.
Another option might be a condom catheter.
It might also be that grandpa needs more care than can be given at home and looking for Memory Care is in the near future
I don't think i can edit the question, can i ?
These super absorbent pads were a miracle for me. Nothing came through and saved me from the nightmare you are experiencing. A case of 40 are not cheap ($79.00) but they are worth every penny. The cheaper ones were a waste of money and left me still changing sheets.
Hope it works the same for you.
God Bless.
medline pads for beds for incontinence adults at Amazon.
https://tinyurl.com/ehvknbce