FIL has been verbally abusive and has accused him of thief yelling about it loudly while in the hospital. All accusations are unfounded and my husband has been killing himself trying to do things for a Dad who is totally ungrateful. Husband had a bad childhood due to this man. My MIL has passed away and the situation has only gotten worse. He has a sister who has made the situation worse . My husband plans to resign today and the hospital will have to appoint someone to be the POA. His Dad is not able to care for himself adequately, insists on heating with a pellet stove and my husband has to carry in approximately a 1,000 lbs of this stuff up steps into the home monthly ( each bag weighs 40 lbs). Also has to fill buckets with pellets to be put into the stove. Also the stove has to be cleaned out several times a week. My husband goes to the store for him and other chores. The house is falling down and is unclean. He refuses help from agencies and I had arranged for Meals on Wheels which was refused. One daughter has nothing to do with him as he abused her as a child. I don’t blame her. I am unable and unwilling to assist as he had molested my daughter years ago and stalked her.
Will my husband still be held responsible for a his Dad even if he resigns? He said that he has had enough.
While he is in the hospital get him evaluated. If they find he needs 24/7 care thats when u can place him.
I would go to a lawyer to resign so a letter can be written. Then give the letter to those u need to. Find out from that lawyer where u stand. FIL should be discharged to a safe place. If ur husband is no longer involved, the state may need to step in. FIL molesting your daughter was and is a good reason for not continuing or not getting involved at all.
The main reason for your husband to do so is purely to cover his backside since your FIL is so vindictive. It's fine for your husband to resign as POA and notify all parties. But there's the personal aspect of walking away. Maybe I think the worst sometimes, but your FIL (or anyone in his personal sphere) could file a complaint that your husband abandoned him and walked away without ensuring some personal oversight for your FIL. It should take one phone call (disclaimer: I've never dealt with any agency like this) and maybe one meeting to ensure the "agent" from APS is fully aware of FIL's situation.
The secondary reason is so you and your husband know in your heart of hearts that you did everything humanly possible to ensure he was taken care of.
Please keep us updated. I hope it all goes well. We're here for you!
I am amazed that you did ANYthing for this man if he molested and stalked your daughter.
Sometimes, we have to step back to get out loved ones the care they need.
You can also consider auto-rejecting any phone calls from him.
I'm relieved for your DH and you and your family that you can walk away and hope you find peace. I can't imagine what you've all been through.
What about getting dad a geriatric care manager to handle all of the day to day business. Then hubs could become an occasional visitor.
Delusions in the hospital are very common.