My sister-in-law is accusing my husband of taking advantage of his parents financially and says she has proof of financial transactions. My husband says that he has never taken anything from his parents but that they have been generous to him. I knew of this generosity and did not approve of it in the past 2 years because his parents are declining. His father may have dementia and his mother has Stage 4 COPD. Both have memory loss. My husband states that he has not taken any money from them but, because he has been caring for them during the week and on the weekends and is unable to work overtime, he has been, with their permission, making up the difference. We both work f/t but in the past have supported my grandchildren and daughter and continue to support our daughter. His sister has mental health issues and has great animosity toward her brother for her parents and deceased sister not wanting to see her. She blames my husband for all of this.
I believe that she has reported this to APS. Currently my husband's mother is on hospice and my husband has requested FMLA to be with his mother. I just want to know what we might expect and the best course of action to deal with this.
"I knew of this generosity and did not approve of it in the past 2 years because his parents are declining." So, if you as a wife did not approve, why would you think Sister-in-law may not have a valid concern in reporting it?
Your husband should speak with an attorney.
As far as your story goes, this is a cautionary tale for all who are reading it. There should always be meticulous record keeping in gifts over 1,000 or 2,000. Whether you are the GIVER or the RECEIVER. These records, simply written monthly into a diary or an account book, with a checkbook and check records monthly, tell the story of how money is gifted or how it is received. For instance, I gift to my daughter and I keep a record of when, of check number, of what for, whether college of grandson or of simple gift. This serves also as a tax record for me (rule being not more than 15,000 to any individual yearly, or worked out further for lifetime giving. Also I have received inheritance in past. I have kept meticulous month records for myself for most of my adult life. Just a habit, and one that would stand anyone well in court or before APS as the record could be brought out.
Anyway, as long as the parents tell APS that they fully wanted to give your husband the money, there should be no legal consequences. An issue may occur if the parents were to need long term care Medicaid however. The Medicaid caseworker may view the transactions as gifting, and your husband may have to pay back the money before Medicaid is approved.