I’ve warned mil and sil that caregiver is an employee that they’re paying over 100k to, and beyond that relationship this one would not exist.
Honestly one of the reasons to keep it professional. I feel that happens less with a non agency aide as it creates these “friendship” opportunities. This little girl, they think it’s so nice that she brings them tea vs her being stuck in a studio apartment with her family but then again NO ONE BRINGS THEIR MINOR RELATIVES ALONG FOR THEIR WORK.
We went by ils on the way home and I cold shouldered this aide. She went into the room, which is her job.she’s not included and I, personally, do not care about her family obligations. I’m pissed off.
First of all I am sure your in-laws do not have a child proof home. Elders often drop pills causing an unsafe environment and who is monitoring the child while in-laws are getting help in bathroom?
Your husband should address this with the aide since its his mom & sister.
Perhaps the six-year-old is a charming child, who might possibly be bringing a little cheer into Old Folk Land? Frankly, it is her that I feel for; hours spent in a geriatric ward cannot be very nice for her.
As for the “cold shoulder” to the aide: if she is someone whose work your husband and SIL otherwise like, be very careful about alienating her. The next one THEY (not you) hire might not bring a child, but might do something worse that gets you all riled up.
But if you sensibly BACK OFF, none of this will be important!
It’s not a granddaughter or great granddaughter, ils. I see nothing but bad in encouraging this and will absolutely not be part of it.
At least agency caregivers and facility employees are held to codes of conduct. My mom would never get a no agency one and am seeing why. Bringing some kid to work is always inappropriate yet they stretch this knowing they could never do so in an anything with a payroll.
We were coming back from dads funeral. He resisted aides until his end. I can see why. I’m enforcing my boundaries which is never to be in a social occasion with the child or this aide as it’s a biz relationship. NOT FAMILY.
If mom was on the toilet and her daughter started to scream would mom leave MIL to find out what was wrong? My guess is MIL would be left alone in the bathroom.
If the 6 year old was running down the hall and fell and hurt herself would homeowners insurance cover the lawsuit that will follow?
A caregiver should not be bringing ANYONE else with her to her job..
And this may not be a worry but...
School starts and little "Susie" goes to school and tells her friends that "Old Ms. Brown has dementia and has to have her diapers changed by my mommy and she eats baby food" will a child realize that she is violating HIPAA
I would tell the caregiver that if she continues to bring the child she can look for another job. (I am guessing this is happening because school is out and it is less expensive for mom to bring her than to pay for a babysitter or child care)