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Easy answer. Take the phone away. Period. End of story.
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The amazon phone seems like an excellent idea.
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So many great answers! I have to do that with my MIL and the Kindle she had, she actually killed 3 Kindles so far and the last one wouldn't hold a charge. Each week she wants to know where her Kindle is and we keep telling her that we sent it to be fixed. That keeps her quiet for about a week.
When she was in rehab, my SIL got her a landline until the first bill came in. That stopped very quickly.
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Check out Consumer Cellular AARP plans, if you or MIL are members. Mine costs less than $30 per month for unlimited minutes. There are also other plans and easy to use phones available. Check out the AARP Cell Phone website.
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I'm having the phone fixed.
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I just told my mom that she couldn’t have a cellphone where she was and if she needed me she could use the facility ‘s phone, the nurse had my number and she could call anytime. She soon forgot about having a phone and started obsessing about having a good comb. LOL! I bought a case of combs and take her a new one every couple of days.
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If you consider getting a phone at all, you might want to look at getting the Jitterbug or consider setting up a line with "child" controls. Verizon child controls include limiting both incoming and outgoing calls to known numbers and limiting the time of day when the phone can make calls.
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PS -- forgot about the phone itself: You would need to get a phone -- an "expandable cordless phone" -- I have a Panasonic KX-TG9331T with 4 handsets (each handset is in different room with it's own charing base).

Good luck solving your problem.
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If the facility has internet, with router, see if they will let you hook up a base phone that has cordless phones with charger. If they do and would allow the phone to be hooked up, you could purchase an Ooma device ($60-100, one time purchase fee) - it's an "internet phone" like Magic Jack, but cheaper in the long run, and use that to provide a landline phone.

After the Ooma device purchase (available everywhere, including Walmart and Amazon) the monthly charge is nominal - taxes and a VERY small fee. I have used Ooma for at least 5 years, and my monthly cost is less than $8. I love it.

And because the cordless handset sits in a charging cradle, it would be in MIL's room -- but the staff could "take it" after a certain time at night, if desired (some valid-sounding reason if needed, e.g., it needs to be charged, or needs to be checked, etc.).

And it's not as if the purchase would be wasted, if that didn't work out -- you could take it home and use it there. The phone number stays with the Ooma device, so the phone number moves to where the device is placed - works anywhere it can be hooked to an internet connection. Some people take theirs with them in their motorhomes - talk about a "portable" phone. _smile_
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If my mom was still having strong delusions I would do as you are doing. Put it off any way you can. I swore when I ever got the cell phone away from my mom I was going to beat it to bits with a sledge hammer. Boy that phone represents some bad memories. Now that shes in AL and doing better we have installed a landline. Her delusions are more "normal" with little paranoia. She calls lawyers, social security, the bank, and relatives constantly. Someday we may have to disconnect the phone, but we are trying to allow her some normalcy.
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Do not relent. Keep saying what you are saying. She doesn’t remember what you’ve said or what she's said. So of course she keeps asking and she can’t remember what you’ve told her either so just keep saying "I’m looking into it". There is a reason why people with dementia this severe shouldn’t have phones. When my dad was placed in a SNF/rehab for several months we finally took the phone away as he would call us instead of the nurse for his needs. He never called to visit...it was always a complaint we could do nothing about. So when I had to move him to LTC/NH I did not get him a phone as I knew it would be the same old story. He’s not able to reason and like your mom thinks things are stolen, hates the place etc and I knew I’d hear it. So no phone. Now what you could do is place a security camera up on a piece of furniture. You don’t even have to have it turned on and tell her you use it to keep an eye on things to keep her safe. Just a thought. Again, she won’t remember and that is the frustrating part.
If you can try to put the humor in it and see it as the same game over and over. That way it’s not as personal or frustrating. In your mind just think "here she goes again."
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The elderly have a tough time with cells, they are so small. A landline with limited features, the buttons are large, hearing can be elevated, etc. Also, check with your state because here in Indiana, mom has a CapTel phone that was free where it has a screen that she can read the conversation as well. Speed Dial so Mom has a list of top 10 people just push 1 button. Best of Luck
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I agree a phone would cause problems, as in cost, lost, broken, stolen, etc. Can always say the phone is misplaced but staff is looking for it. Or change the subject when she asks lol.
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I would keep putting it off saying you are working on it. A former neighbor of my Mom's when Mom had her condo but my Mom was in a NH for rehab, kept calling my Mom's number from the memory care facility she was in. She would yell into the message machine angry that Mom would not return her calls, not knowing my Mom was in a NH for rehab from a broken bone. This neighbor never called my Mom when she lived near her. I found out later she was calling everyone, all 100 residents in the condo complex, because she had saved a list of everyone's phone number. The calls finally stopped and I assume her family took her phone.
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This is so difficult on us. My dad used to do the same thing, only he wanted a credit card. He wouldn’t let up.
Finally, I got him a gift card that resembled a credit card.
He accepted it and never asked again. But, after a few days he started up with something else he had to have!
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I would continue what you are doing. Hopefully as her Dementia progresses she'll forget about a phone. I would not get her a phone for all the reasons you mention.
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Cellphones are just too complex for some of us old timers to use. I still use a flip phone and half the stuff I cannot figure out. I prefer to use my landline. I know how to use it, it's been ingrained in my mind since I was a kid over 60 years ago. The phone rings, you pick up the receiver, and if it is landline to landline the call is crystal clear.

On my cell phone, if it rings I have to remember to hit "send" in order to answer the call.... which makes no sense at all :P My sig other has to use a Smart Phone for work and he hates it with a passion.

When my Dad lived in Memory Care he had his own landline to use, but he would forget to dial 9 first, which was ok because who knows who he was trying to call.  Those in Memory Care that had no phones could use the lobby phone, again one would need to dial 9.  Usually one would give up being distracted by something else.
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Can you get a cell phone, preprogram your numbers, and block ability to call any others? On the other hand, I can see why you would not want her to have a phone, my dad is on his 3rd phone in 3 months, and calls constantly. We’ve finally told him that no more phones if this one is lost or damaged. I do not take his calls all the time as I also know if something happens the NH will contact us.
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In the meantime, what about getting a child's 'look-a-like' toy phone. One that says things?

An example of one is on Amazon -
www.amazon.co.uk/Y-PHONE-Childrens-Toy-Y
Phone/dp/B011VP0NSG/ref=pd_vtph_21_lp_t_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=MSAN9PCE6NGESE5P69PF

Just a thought. :)
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"I'm looking into that, Mom" is a good general response.
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So sad. I have no answer. I can only say that I live the cellphone saga with you. We got my mother a Jitterbug cellphone last summer. She has called 8-10 times a day at stretches, leaving horrible ranting messages about how she's going to leave assisted living and move back to her home. At other times she claims her phone is broken. I'll go to her assisted living facility, turn her phone back on and tell her "okay Mother, it's working now." She wants an iPhone to look at pictures, yet when I got her an iPad for Christmas two years ago she couldn't work it. She's called me in the middle of the night to tell me the roof is leaking in her room (it isn't) or ask me when her next doctor's appointment is; the same appointment I told her about, complete with time, that same day. She'll call me and claim she was trying to call a friend. She can't dial numbers anymore, and it's hit and miss when she tries to call a pre-programmed number. She might call me, my wife, my daughters, who knows. It's to the point where I don't take most of her calls because I know if it's a real emergency the assisted living facility will call.
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