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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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It makes me sad when Mom tells me she isn’t happy with what her life has become. She truly loves her home, the staff & most of the other residents at the assisted living but I think she doesn’t feel productive enough. Any suggestions?
Take it with a grain of salt. As our elders go through unwanted changes, they dump on the people they are closest to. And showtime their azzes off for everyone else.
When my mom says negative things about her situation. I either change the subject to something pleasant/happy. your profile shows your mom has alz. so im thinking it shouldnt be too hard to turn her thoughts around.
sometimes I remind her how lucky she is. and list all the good things she has going for her. shes not aware she has dementia, so I tell her how healthy she is for her age. and that makes her happy. I tell her how pretty she looks today and how she always looks nice.
yes, she continues to make her comments. sometimes she puts other residents "down". she acts like she's "not like them"
she complains about THIS and THAT. I try to just listen, but whatever I say, is just forgotten....
bottom line....she cant go back home. no way. yes makes me sad. but cant dwell on it.
if shes not feeling productive....what does she feel like she wants to do?
I try to keep my mom as busy as I can. little stuff. we check her mailbox. she saves her newspapers so I can recycle them. take her on walks around the building. take her shopping and have her put the items in proper drawers/shelves. she likes to color with crayons/adult color books. one day she had too many pennies.(not sure how,cause she not supposed to be on AL bus to shop any more) but I had her count/stack pennies. her AL also has a center court with plants. one man resident used to sweep and water the plants. my moms clothes closet gets messy (even tho she says "oh i'll do it later) I have her help me straighten up. idk , by the time my visit time is over. ive tried to wear her out! not sure how mobile your mom is.
I kinda do the SAME THINGS each time I visit. I have a little routine of activities.
when im not there, the AL is usually doing something. I know my mom stays in her room a lot, even tho they incourage her to be involved.
if SHE WAS AT (old residence)HOME alone, she would probably be WAY MORE BORED.
KiminAL, it is normal for an elder to say they aren't happy living in Assisted Living or hate how they life has become.
I remember one time someone here on the forum said that her Mom hated the place, yet one time they went to visit Mom, at an unscheduled time, found her in an activity where she was laughing and having fun.
Thus, just ignore it whenever Mom says that, or find a witty come back.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
sometimes I remind her how lucky she is. and list all the good things she has going for her. shes not aware she has dementia, so I tell her how healthy she is for her age. and that makes her happy. I tell her how pretty she looks today and how she always looks nice.
yes, she continues to make her comments. sometimes she puts other residents "down". she acts like she's "not like them"
she complains about THIS and THAT. I try to just listen, but whatever I say, is just forgotten....
bottom line....she cant go back home. no way. yes makes me sad. but cant dwell on it.
if shes not feeling productive....what does she feel like she wants to do?
I try to keep my mom as busy as I can. little stuff. we check her mailbox. she saves her newspapers so I can recycle them. take her on walks around the building. take her shopping and have her put the items in proper drawers/shelves. she likes to color with crayons/adult color books. one day she had too many pennies.(not sure how,cause she not supposed to be on AL bus to shop any more) but I had her count/stack pennies.
her AL also has a center court with plants. one man resident used to sweep and water the plants. my moms clothes closet gets messy (even tho she says "oh i'll do it later) I have her help me straighten up. idk , by the time my visit time is over. ive tried to wear her out! not sure how mobile your mom is.
I kinda do the SAME THINGS each time I visit. I have a little routine of activities.
when im not there, the AL is usually doing something. I know my mom stays in her room a lot, even tho they incourage her to be involved.
if SHE WAS AT (old residence)HOME alone, she would probably be WAY MORE BORED.
sometimes there's no pleasing...it is what it is.
I remember one time someone here on the forum said that her Mom hated the place, yet one time they went to visit Mom, at an unscheduled time, found her in an activity where she was laughing and having fun.
Thus, just ignore it whenever Mom says that, or find a witty come back.