Had psychical therapy, didn't work! She needs help with everything, including the remote! I don't want to put her in a home, but it's not looking good at all!
If by "in her mind" he means in the lower portions of the brain, he is likely correct. Could be balance. Could be blood pressure, could be anything. What did physical therapists tell you? Because compared to a GP they are usually wonderful at diagnostics. How old is your Mom? What is her muscle strength and activity daily like? Did she work had with the therapists? Is w/c an option for her; what is her upper arm strength like? Does Mom use a walker? Has that been tried. Wishing you good luck. Ultimately you may be correct. If she is bedbound that will lead to other problems of skin and circulation. Her care may soon be more than you can do with the limitations of home care. Is she aware that is the case?
kimbo2020, so sorry to read about your Mom having these issues at only 71 years old. Numerous falls at her age shouldn't be happening, she needs to have x-ray scans to see if she ever had a brain bleed. Time to bring in the specialist to unravel this mystery.
My own Mom started to have falls, she was much older, and she refused to use a walker. After numerous falls that resulted in head trauma, she could no longer stand up or walk, even though her mind was telling her she could. Mom went to rehab and it was determined her mind could no longer understand instructions, so Mom was placed in a nursing home..... she now needed a village to help her around the clock.
I realize that many families don't want to move their loved one into a senior facility. Please realize that up to 40% of family caregivers taking care of a loved one by themselves die leaving behind that loved one. Not good odds. Then what? The loved one goes into senior care. Please keep that in mind.
As for the remote, that can happen to anyone at any age. I recently bought a cellphone made for seniors. Will be tossing that out, the instructions are off the wall complex, and I don't have a 12 year old grandchild near by to set it up !! Why can't companies make things simple.
Your mom could have any number of reasons why she's falling that have absolutely nothing to do with the health of her legs. She needs to get a full medical work up from her doctor and find out what wrong. As for trouble with the remote. You and I are around the same age. Sometimes I have trouble with it too and require the services of a teenager to set it right. Technology is not my strong suit. The clock in my car has remained set since I bought the vehicle in 2017. I know in the autumn to "fall back" an hour if I'm looking at the car clock. You have to make your mother do some things for herself. Do not wait on her hand and foot. Do not instantly appear ready to take orders the second she calls you either. This is what I had to do with my mother. Her two 'Go-To' behaviors were either act like a helpless infant thinking that I'd find it pathetic and coddle her like a baby. Or get abusive and stubborn and I'll fall right in line like a child and take my orders. Nope. Take mom to the doctor. See what's up with her. Then STOP helping with everything. Make her do for herself. I had invalid homecare clients who pretty much couldn't do anything. People who visited were often shocked because I refuse to feed someone if they can still get food into their own mouth. Sure, it would have been cleaner and faster for me to just spoon-feed them, but I won't. Any amount of independence is positive and good for a person. Even if it's something small like getting food into their mouth. Or combing their hair. Or folding laundry that you will have to refold properly later. You are tired because you need some hired help coming in. A caregiver will help not only with mom, but with cooking, housekeeping, errand running, and plain old baby-sitting so you can get out. Placement in a facility because you can't take care of her anymore is not the cardinal sin so many people think it is. No one wants to do it but sometimes care can't be managed in a home anymore.
One additional thought, hopefully helpful- NO ONE EVER WANTS to put a Loved One “in a home”, but there are times when SAFETY and circumstances beyond the caregiver’s capacity to continue necessitate making very difficult decisions about topics that have NO “best solutions”.
Sometimes the options for care don’t please ANYONE involved, but must be made be a use there’s nothing left to do.
If your mom now “needs help with everything” and she is unable to afford more in-home help, and you are providing all the help that you are able to provide, it MAY be time to do some research about what other options are available.
My grandmother started falling more for no apparent reason in the months before she went to stay in a nursing home and then passed. She was over 100 so we were all ready for it. But, I think it was her balance, not her legs. She was weaker as she aged and sat more.
Also, getting up from a chair or bending over to pick something up we’re tricky. Does your mom cross her ankles when seated and then try to stand? That could be another source.
im not sure how helpful a fall alert device or video monitors would be for you both. With my dad who now falls - he needs to either not move or have another human around him to be safe.
Does she have dementia? Is that why she can't use the remote? My mom often can't remember how to use the remote or thinks it's a phone, etc. - due to mild dementia. I know it's only going to get worse.
How old is your Mom?
What is her muscle strength and activity daily like?
Did she work had with the therapists?
Is w/c an option for her; what is her upper arm strength like?
Does Mom use a walker? Has that been tried.
Wishing you good luck. Ultimately you may be correct. If she is bedbound that will lead to other problems of skin and circulation. Her care may soon be more than you can do with the limitations of home care. Is she aware that is the case?
My own Mom started to have falls, she was much older, and she refused to use a walker. After numerous falls that resulted in head trauma, she could no longer stand up or walk, even though her mind was telling her she could. Mom went to rehab and it was determined her mind could no longer understand instructions, so Mom was placed in a nursing home..... she now needed a village to help her around the clock.
I realize that many families don't want to move their loved one into a senior facility. Please realize that up to 40% of family caregivers taking care of a loved one by themselves die leaving behind that loved one. Not good odds. Then what? The loved one goes into senior care. Please keep that in mind.
As for the remote, that can happen to anyone at any age. I recently bought a cellphone made for seniors. Will be tossing that out, the instructions are off the wall complex, and I don't have a 12 year old grandchild near by to set it up !! Why can't companies make things simple.
As for trouble with the remote. You and I are around the same age. Sometimes I have trouble with it too and require the services of a teenager to set it right. Technology is not my strong suit. The clock in my car has remained set since I bought the vehicle in 2017.
I know in the autumn to "fall back" an hour if I'm looking at the car clock.
You have to make your mother do some things for herself. Do not wait on her hand and foot. Do not instantly appear ready to take orders the second she calls you either. This is what I had to do with my mother. Her two 'Go-To' behaviors were either act like a helpless infant thinking that I'd find it pathetic and coddle her like a baby. Or get abusive and stubborn and I'll fall right in line like a child and take my orders.
Nope.
Take mom to the doctor. See what's up with her. Then STOP helping with everything. Make her do for herself.
I had invalid homecare clients who pretty much couldn't do anything. People who visited were often shocked because I refuse to feed someone if they can still get food into their own mouth. Sure, it would have been cleaner and faster for me to just spoon-feed them, but I won't. Any amount of independence is positive and good for a person. Even if it's something small like getting food into their mouth. Or combing their hair. Or folding laundry that you will have to refold properly later.
You are tired because you need some hired help coming in. A caregiver will help not only with mom, but with cooking, housekeeping, errand running, and plain old baby-sitting so you can get out.
Placement in a facility because you can't take care of her anymore
is not the cardinal sin so many people think it is. No one wants to do it but sometimes care can't be managed in a home anymore.
Sometimes the options for care don’t please ANYONE involved, but must be made
be a use there’s nothing left to do.
If your mom now “needs help with everything” and she is unable to afford more in-home help, and you are providing all the help that you are able to provide, it MAY be time to do some research about what other options are available.
You need a geriatric doc or neurologist.
This situation needs more than a family practitioner. And if that is the doc you saw, you should have been referred to a specialist.
A needs assessment may highlight just how much help she needs with daily care.
Once you have some facts down, next would be to look into what services exist in your area (free/paid)?
If your goal is to continue, you may find you can for longer, by adding home help services.
Also, getting up from a chair or bending over to pick something up we’re tricky. Does your mom cross her ankles when seated and then try to stand? That could be another source.
im not sure how helpful a fall alert device or video monitors would be for you both. With my dad who now falls - he needs to either not move or have another human around him to be safe.
Your profile says she's in a wheelchair?
Sorry you are going through this?