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Hello, My mom is 84 and handicapped from a horrific car accident in 2008 where every bone in both legs were shattered, broken, smashed, or gone, thigh muscle ripped out, broken back, broken ribs, broken wrists, feet deformed, feet on fire. Died 17 times, coma 6 weeks, in hospitals and rehabs 6 months. Came home unable to stand or walk. It was a lot of work to keep get her standing and walking. We did it. I write this background to describe how tough she is.



She has fell a few times over the past 13 years but nothing very bad. Some bruises and aches.



She is now 84 and fell Monday afternoon. This was a bad one because she hurt her back. She says she twisted her back falling to save her legs. We went to the ER, waited 4 hours in waiting room, then 4 hours inside the ER and they did all xrays everything CT scans too. Nothing was broken. They released her with no prescription for pain meds, no Anti-inflammatory pills. She cannot barely move. She cant get up to go to the bathroom, so the bed is wet last 2 nights. Takes an hour to psyche herself up for the pain to stand so we can get her wet pants off and get up again to put dry pants on.



In other words she is in terrible excruciating pain. This is a very tough women who toughed it out with no pain meds except Tylenol everyday the past 13 years.



Doctors won't call us back. We can't get Anti-inflammatory or pain meds. We live in a township with a giant hospital and doctors parks everywhere. Must be that 10,000 doctors come here to work it seems like.



Yet it is so hard to get simple meds for an 84 year old woman. The ER said she probably needed them but would not write the prescriptions.



Now my mom says she is coming to and end and stuff like that. Over dramatic maybe , but that is how she feels.



I have been taking care of her 24/7 the past 13 years and have no problem doing everything.



But if there is a simple way to stop the suffering with simple anti-inflammatory pills for her back and 5 mg percocet , for a few days, don't was deserve to get them on the basis of moral humanity alone?



I know what its like for every muscle in the back to stiffen up and you feel like you cannot move. You feel paralyzed, like you can't even move your legs. The pain is excruciating. And I took muscle relaxer and it helped RIGHT AWAY., and in a few days I was fine. But I was in my 40's and not handicapped.



My mom is 84 and severely handicapped and the medical industry here in Freehold Township, Monmouth County NJ should be ashamed of themselves.

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Thanks for all the answers everyone. We got an appointment with the orthopedist tomorrow afternoon. The big issue is you can can look at it like this, understand it this way. She has to exercise her legs , walk, stay active, a little bit each day, because of the severe care accident 13 years ago. If she cant walk a little and do a little getting up and own a little, her legs will go totally bad, and then any hope truly is over.

But her legs right now are fine, that is not damaged much in the fall Monday, it is her back preventing her from walking. From moving, from living. I hope the orthopedist understands this.

If you go back and look at the history of me posting on here, I have stated many times it is my primary job to keep her active, physically and mentally, so she can stay in the house the rest of her life.
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PeggySue2020 Nov 2022
The pain issue will Impede her mobility even if her legs are fine. And even if the ongoing pain is 80 percent abated, mom may not take to walking as you wish her to.

I suggested hospice not to shorten her life, but as a way you can best maintain your current one. If her pain is abated, not only will that help her decide to use her legs if that’s possible, but it will also help you become more familiar with lifts, hospital bed controls and so forth.

Mom is comfortable with you washing and diapering her area. These mechanical tools might well be necessary. I would not rely on YOuTube for this, you want someone who will show you how exactly that is to be done and give you the supplies to do it.

Ask the ortho what he thinks.
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For the love of PETE!

Nothing really gets to me more than this 'opioid epidemic' crap. Trust me, the folks who are addicted are still getting their meds.

Just came back from a visit with my son & family. His wife is an anesthesiologist. We talked about this EXACT THING. She said that the dirty truth is that MANY Drs are abusing narcotics, and at a staggering rate. She employs one anesthesiologist who has to come by her office everyday he works, takes only the meds he needs for the actual day and has to account for every millimeter of ANYTHING he uses. He has an addiction problem and she said he is probably getting his drugs from another source, not from her supply. She said that this dynamic was SO COMMON it was almost a joke.

People in real and actual constant, unrelenting pain (like I am) need to be able to function. I have to see my PCP every 3 months to get Tylenol 3 for the arthritis that makes my life hell. Ibuprofen helps, but it isn't enough to get me through the day.

(She actually said codeine is about the least abused, as it is really not that strong and I take the smallest dose. I will need to 'up my game' so to speak, eventually, and I have to have the option of stronger meds as the years roll by.) I HATE HATE HATE that I need these meds, but without them, I cannot even get out of bed, much less function through a day. I worry far more about the amount of Tylenol I get.

My family gives me hell for it. I cannot listen to them. Until THEY start in with the arthritis and constant, unrelenting pain that can come with it--they will continue to be judgmental. I have been dxed with moderate to severe arthritis throughout my whole body.

I can only think that the original poster's mom may have had an abuse issue--IDK and I won't judge her. But to put an 80+ yo woman in pain and not acknowledge the fact that they can certainly control the amounts she takes--that's horrid.

My SIL and DIL are both Drs. They both have said, multiple times, many, many healthcare professionals are often the main abusers---and that the pendulum for 'opiate control' has swung far, far, far to the side of actually hurting patients.

Sorry for the rant. I remember begging, literally BEGGING my mother's PCP to let her have 10 Tylenol #3's. She was awaiting back surgery and was in incredible pain. She made those 10 pills last for the 2 weeks before her surgery.

If there was something that actually worked for my pain that was non-narcotic, I would take it. So far, nothing really helps.

Sorry for the rant. I just see the ridiculousness of Drs withholding medication that can make someone's life LIVEABLE and relatively pain free. All b/c the AMA or whomever is breathing down their necks.
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James, I am sorry that your mom is being allowed to suffer, especially when there is a solution.

I think I would be finding a different doctor. You are going to have to take her in, the hospital could have missed something or ?? But, she really should be seen by a doctor.

I fell (actually, I was tripped by a little kid playing games) roller skating backwards and I landed on my head and neck from 6' in the air, moving quickly, my regular doctor wouldn't prescribe anything, never diagnosed anything, basically said it will pass. I had whiplash and a concussion. I found another doctor that actually diagnosed and treated my injury and pain. Nothing like being told it'll get better when you can't move and feel like you are dying from the pain.

Get on the phone and find a new doctor today.
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A heating pad will help with soreness and pain along with some over the counter medications. Keep watch on the heating pad and follow directions. Check skin for redness. I remember years ago, it was ten minutes on and then ten minutes off. Then ten minutes again. You can also do moist heat with an towel covered with plastic wrap. Check temperature before applying.

I have two discs that were pretty bad. All else fails, a good old fashioned chiropractor. I had a lady Chiropractor who was small in statute. I didn't think she would be strong enough to handle me. Boy, was I wrong! This lady knew her trade. I went for treatments and I haven't had issues since. I may have an occasional pain here and there but nothing like the excruciating pain I had almost over twenty five years ago.
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Anti inflammatory meds also include Celebrex and Torodol. The latter definitely does work and might be a very short term option as it’s unsafe for anyone to orally take beyond five days.

Anti inflame are not hormone based. Prednisone and other steroids are. My mil took on a typical Cushing syndrome appearance and became emotionally a basket case on them.
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Pain patches might be a option to explore, prescription or OTC.

And I think acupuncture or massage might a better alternative therapies than chiropractic for someone her age with possibly fragile bones .
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Isthisrealyreal Nov 2022
Great idea about alternative treatment.

Accupressure is really good too.

Someone that knows what they are doing, can make you feel like a cloud. Oh so good!
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When my mother fell years ago she went to the ER by ambulance. The ER said she had a broken arm but could be discharged. She could not walk or stand without horrible pain. My Dad refused to take her home because it did not make any sense. ER admitted her. Next day the hospital found a pelvic fracture. Point being maybe the ER missed something. Consider taking her back and don’t take no for an answer.
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ventingisback Nov 2022
Good point!
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Take her to a chiropractor.

Otherwise, alternate heat and ice.
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I seriously doubt this is an organized effort by the doctors in your township to cause your mother pain. There must be more to the story you're not telling us here, such as your mother has a history of opioid use in the past and that's why ALL the doctors are flat-out refusing to write her a prescription. For even a muscle relaxer, which to me is highly suspicious. When an RX for opioids is written these days, it goes through a computer register so that ALL RXs for that person come up over a long period of time, to see if abuse is suspected. Or doctor shopping for opioids, and then that person is shut down from getting any and all pain meds moving forward. The DEA set this process up a while back.

I can call my PCP and ask for non-opioid meds at any time. I take 1 Tramadol a day for chronic arthritis pain in my back and I signed a contract to get a 28 day supply each month. I can get no more than that supply, even if I stand on my head on the roof. Which is what I said I understood when I signed a contract.

I suggest you contact your mother's PCP and, in a calm & relaxed fashion, ask if your mom can sign some sort of a contract to be put on a pain med regimen monthly. Something like I'm on; the 28 pill per month program of Tramadol or something equivalent.


I agree that chronic paralyzing pain is a horrible thing to endure, and your poor mom should not have to do so. Find out WHY she's being refused all manner of meds that would help her, and go from there. Then appeal to her PCP for a pain management plan if such a thing is available to her, that's my suggestion. B/c pain meds these days are VERY hard to come by.

Good luck to you and to your mom. I hope she feels better soon.
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PeggySue2020 Nov 2022
Tramadol is a synthetic narcotic with opiate potential for abuse, which is why it has been a federally scheduled substance since 2014.

James, you’ve mentioned that mom really has not been into pt or medical intervention. In your case, I’d see it as an immediate comfort and safety measure so mom can get not only the necessary painkillers but things like lifts and hospital beds.

You can always discontinue it.
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Alva is right in that opiates are becoming increasingly difficult to get, unless u are on hospice, in which case it’s very easy.
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My PCP will not write prescriptions, even for refills, without a visit anymore. He said the request for prescriptions was getting out of control, to the point where patients he hadn't seen in person for over a decade were asking for multiple prescriptions. So rather than pick and choose who could get them refilled via phone call and who had to see him in person, he adopted this rule instead.


He WILL, however, write them for after virtual visit.

Will mom's doctor see her virtually and then perhaps give her the necessary prescriptions? I would call and ask.
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I would ask now for a pain specialist, pain management consult. Your mother, freqflyer is correct, may be on the national list of people who have used opiates in the past, and hospitals and doctors are now discouraged from using opiates at all. Basically you get one or two for no matter how bad an injury you sustain. While pain relief used to be all the thing, it is now about not using opiates of any kind.
Ibuprofen is about the best anti-inflammatory you can get, but it is tough on the stomach and not easy to tolerate. There may be some spinal compression that is now causing some nerve pinching; xrays may be needed. With a back most now believe that in two weeks time it "will go away" and that is certainly not always the case.
Do ask for a pain management consult. Be the squeaky wheel with constant calls to say there is no pain control and your Mom is in agony. Go to the ER if you must.
This is a problem right now in our country. Whereas a pulled tooth would get you 30 percocet in the past, you cannot get two now for a major surgery, so I surely do wish you good luck.
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Have you talked to the drs nurse? Ask for directions to get her help ?
What happens if you call 911 and have her transported once again to 5he ER ? What did the discharge papers say ?

have you tried ice on her back ?
ibuprofen alternating with Tylenol.. google to check for how often, how much…
then make an appointment at her Dr office…
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James, has your Mother been prescribed Percocet (oxycodone / acetaminophen) or Oxycontin in the past? If yes, this drug is monitored and limited when prescribed.

ER's are very hesitant to prescribed the above medication especially if the injury is back related. Sadly people who are addicted to said meds are ruining it for people like your Mother who may really need said med.

Has your Mother taken a prescribed pain pill that has Codeine? If not, maybe her primary doctor could prescribed that, as long as it doesn't interfere with any other prescription meds she is taking.
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Kmjfree Nov 2022
Sadly doctors use to overprescribe these drugs to people and then people got addicted. The addicted were likely clueless and trusted the doctor. When I had a thyroid surgery many years ago they shoved a bottle of some opiate in my hand without any explanation of the danger. I did not take it as we had already gone through a similar situation with my sister. I would not blame the addicted. And I would not really blame the doctors. I would blame the drug companies. Dopesick is a pretty good documentary. There are others out there as well.
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Hospice. You can get the meds on hospice. But a doc has to decide this is it and it's time for hospice. My mom has end stage COPD and it was only the moment that she decided to go onto hospice that they informed us that a small dose of morphine would erase the endless air hunger in her lungs that she'd been suffering from. As you can imagine I'm still in a rage. She slept 8 hours for the first time in years without running on 3hrs sleep for weeks then collapsing out for 18h at a time. Your mom's doctor should be ashamed.

Try telling the ortho to refer her to pain management cause this is rediculous, or have her family dr recommend hospice.
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James, when you mentioned taking a muscle relaxer I thought you were also looking for a stronger medication than an OTC one.
Sometimes the fastest way to get information with something like this is go to the pharmacy and ask the pharmacist what they suggest. This would be even more helpful if you go to the pharmacy that you usually go to when mom has any prescriptions that need to be filled.
So while you call the doctors office, and do not give up on that make a visit to the pharmacy.
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I would be calling your moms PCP as I'm sure they will have her records from her ER visit, and ask them to prescribe her something for her pain, since they are familiar with her situation.
You are right though, the doctor at the ER should have written a prescription for her before she was released to come home. Shame on them.
I would be calling everyone and anyone to get mom some help for her pain including hospice. And even though it sounds like your mom is one tough cookie, everyone has a breaking point when it comes to pain and she may now just be ready to be done with it all. And who can blame her? She's been through a lot.
Hospice will try their best to keep her pain free and comfortable until she's ready to leave this world for the next. And just because she goes under hospice care doesn't mean that she will die soon. My husband was under their care for the last 22 months of his life.
I'm praying that your mom will get the relief she needs and deserves.
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JamesG4Justice Nov 2022
She did that, she talked to the office yesterday morning. The doctor won't do it, won't call back, nothing. She called her orthopedic doctor at advanced orthopedics , begged for meds yesterday, he knows the whole thing, got the full file from 2008 from on the the world's best surgeon's from Shock Trauma in Baltimore. They get immediate access to hospital records for patients under their care. They won't do it. Refused to call back and even let my mom know either way.
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Is she taking Ibuprofen?

I agree with calling her primary and ask how much Ibuprofen she can safely take; my doc usually recommends 800mg doses for arthritis flare-ups, which you do by taking 4x200mg tabs.
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Thanks to many who abuse drugs doctors are hesitant to write prescriptions for some classes of drugs.
Does she have a primary care physician that you/ she can call? Her primary would be more familiar with her history and the back story (no pun intended) and may be more willing to prescribe a medication that would help.
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JamesG4Justice Nov 2022
Anti inflammatory are not narcotics. That is all she needs. Maybe the lowest does percocet and few pills, so we can dress her and stuff until the back lossens up over a few days. The doctors wont call back.
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