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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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If your mother starts being physically abusive of your children before you can take other steps first, then call 911 and have her involuntarily committed because she is a danger to others, namely your children.
I worked in a nurseing home for 11 years and some alzheimers residents were Violent ! IT'S DANGEROUS TO DEAL WITH IF YOU ARE NOT TRAINED ! Nobody wants to see your family broken because your mom is sick ! And your mom does not want that eaither !.I will keep you in my prayers !! Stay strong. Go talk to a nurseing home tomorrow!
Angie; if your mom's mind was not sick, your mother would not want you to have to deal with these health issues on your own ...it's OK to get medical help PLEASE do not feel guilty!
Angie ; How old are the children? Does mom have alzheimers disease? Do you live in her home or does she live in your home?and how many kids do you have? I AGREE WITH EVERYBODY...If you and your family are being verbally or physically abused. IF you do not know how to handle this kind of anger or deminta ,then you should remove yourself from the situation before anyone gets hurt...there is a lot of help out there ,it's OK TO NOT BE ABLE TO Handel this problem on your own !!! NURSEING HOMES are here for a reason ,and alot of those stories you about nurseing home neglect are fabricated lies that people make up because they feel guilty that they lost their loved one ,or never visited !!nursing homes are a necessary place for a sick elderly person to be .
Inform her doctor, file for emergency guardianship of your mother, have her placed where her doctor says would be the best for her safety and care as well as the safety of your children. It's your house. You are the healthy adult in this situation. So, take charge and "make it so" for her well being and the well being of your children.
For the sake of both your mother, who has a broken brain, and your children, who deserve to count on you for protection, please contact your mother's doctor immediately, and start the process to remove her from your home.
I can only imagine how distressing this situation must be to you. No doubt you love your mother, but your first responsibility is to your children.
Also to add - something that seems to have become quite common is the apprehension of children on welfare. Once the children are apprehended, the parent's welfare rate is reduced to that of a single person. Then she can't pay the rent, so she loses the home. But CPS will not let the children come home or even visit if they don't each have their own bedroom. The parent can't afford extra bedrooms (or even one bedroom, in lots of cities) on the single rate, nor can she afford the extra bedrooms if she takes a minimum wage job, which is most likely what she is going to end up with. The parent can't get the family welfare rate until she has custody of the children, but can't get custody of the children until she has the family rate or a good-paying job. It's an endless circle of poverty and the foster care system for the entire family.
@GardenArtist - I am sure things are different everywhere. I worked for 11 years as a women's rights advocate. In my area, child protection rules have gotten very restrictive over the last 15 years alongside the new social work degree specializing in child welfare.
Children are MUCH more frequently apprehended from low income and welfare-funded households, regardless of how well taken care of the children are. Just one report puts them in CPS's line of sight. A friend recently had her children apprehended after one of them got into the medicine cabinet, despite the fact that she immediately took him to the ER. I have also known several people who had CPS intervention based on false or embellished reports from hateful neighbors or vengeful exes. Once CPS is involved with a low income/welfare family, they are often involved for years.
Also child protection workers are very intrusive in family affairs once they are involved, even if they don't apprehend....the threat of apprehension is always there. A father in my area trained his 4 children to ride the public bus to school together. Someone reported them, and once CPS got involved, they were not even allowed to play in their backyard unsupervised. Most cases don't get to court, as parents/guardians are often frantically trying to follow the rules CPS lays out, just to avoid apprehension in the first place. These rules, in my observation, seem arbitrary and often depend on who the case worker is or how the case worker is feeling that day. Sometimes families are given different rules by different case workers. Documentation submitted often goes missing once it reaches the CPS office. Sometimes case workers are so busy they do not return parents'/guardians' calls for weeks at a time, leaving children in foster care for longer periods of time. Not all foster homes are healthy, safe places.
I know there are many situations where the intervention of CPS is essential and life-saving, but in the case of a problem like this, I believe it's better to avoid involving them in the first place and tackle the situation one's self.
Angie, Violence in the home is never acceptable. Violence perpetrated on a child is a crime, from any source. When CPS knocks on your door, they will be taking the children that day. Schools are now teaching children what abuse is, how to report it, how to get help, so it is likely that someone will know. That day, the children can be removed, you and your Mother can be arrested, imo. Or just you....losing custody of your children.
Take charge now, and if you have to, remove yourself with the children to a shelter or a hotel. If APS comes to assess your mother, CPS will be contacted. There won't be a kind or understanding conversation about how they can help the situation. Can you get the children to a relative's house right now for their safety? Then take care of Mom's living situation.
Dorianne is right about the complications that arise from CPS involvement. But I also worked for the county Juvenile Court decades ago, and from what I saw, their involvement was never arbitrary, restrictive, or punitive. They went into horrific situations and rescued kids from miserable lives. They handled both delinquent and neglect situations, of which family abuse would be considered the latter.
The caseworkers were very hard working, overworked in fact because of the high volume of cases they had to handle, and always worked for the welfare of the children. I had a lot of respect for them.
But there would first be an intake assessment, a caseworker would be assigned to investigate, and if I recall correctly, there was an opportunity to change the situation w/o the filing of formal papers. I don't recall if that happened before any court hearing though. It's been a long time since I worked there.
If your children are under 19, and your mother is being violent them, you actually have a legal obligation to protect them and remove her from the home. If someone reports they're being targeted for abuse in the home, or if they self-report, child protective services will step in. There is all kinds of trouble for a family once CPS steps in, so it's better to deal with it before that happens, if you can. If they do step in and you refuse to remove the abuser from your home, they normally have the legal right to apprehend your children.
Angie82, one thing to do is to have your Mom tested for an urinary tract infection. Such an infection in an older person can make them violent and uncontrollable. The test is very simple, that is if you can get your Mom to her doctor. Antibiotics can help clear the infection.
Once the infection is clear and Mom is still having violent issues, then as others above had mentioned, have the doctor recommend some meds to help calm Mom.
It would help if we had more information like how old are your kids?, how old is your mom?, I'm assuming she has Alz.- (what stage?)
I second Jeanne's idea. Your first responsibility is to your family's safety. If your children are small and she could overpower and injure them, she must be removed at once. Tell her MD about her violent behavior. Maybe (s)he can order a medication to subdue your mother until she can be placed in a facility. Maybe that's all she would need to not be violent and could stay at home. Ask for a referral to a social worker for available facilities for your mom. Often the local library has booklets on living arrangements for seniors (with and without Alz).
Your mother has dementia and is living in your home, right? Your first responsibility is to your children. Has your mother's doctor been informed of her violence? Poor Mom probably can't help this behavior. Her brain is broken. BUT that is no reason to subject your children to abuse.
I think other arrangements need to be made for your mother, as soon as possible.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I can only imagine how distressing this situation must be to you. No doubt you love your mother, but your first responsibility is to your children.
All the horrible things that could happen if you call in the government for help can be avoided it you take care of this right away!
Children are MUCH more frequently apprehended from low income and welfare-funded households, regardless of how well taken care of the children are. Just one report puts them in CPS's line of sight. A friend recently had her children apprehended after one of them got into the medicine cabinet, despite the fact that she immediately took him to the ER. I have also known several people who had CPS intervention based on false or embellished reports from hateful neighbors or vengeful exes. Once CPS is involved with a low income/welfare family, they are often involved for years.
Also child protection workers are very intrusive in family affairs once they are involved, even if they don't apprehend....the threat of apprehension is always there. A father in my area trained his 4 children to ride the public bus to school together. Someone reported them, and once CPS got involved, they were not even allowed to play in their backyard unsupervised. Most cases don't get to court, as parents/guardians are often frantically trying to follow the rules CPS lays out, just to avoid apprehension in the first place. These rules, in my observation, seem arbitrary and often depend on who the case worker is or how the case worker is feeling that day. Sometimes families are given different rules by different case workers. Documentation submitted often goes missing once it reaches the CPS office. Sometimes case workers are so busy they do not return parents'/guardians' calls for weeks at a time, leaving children in foster care for longer periods of time. Not all foster homes are healthy, safe places.
I know there are many situations where the intervention of CPS is essential and life-saving, but in the case of a problem like this, I believe it's better to avoid involving them in the first place and tackle the situation one's self.
Violence in the home is never acceptable. Violence perpetrated on a child is a crime, from any source. When CPS knocks on your door, they will be taking the children that day. Schools are now teaching children what abuse is, how to report it, how to get help, so it is likely that someone will know. That day, the children can be removed, you and your Mother can be arrested, imo. Or just you....losing custody of your children.
Take charge now, and if you have to, remove yourself with the children to a shelter or a hotel. If APS comes to assess your mother, CPS will be contacted. There won't be a kind or understanding conversation about how they can help the situation.
Can you get the children to a relative's house right now for their safety?
Then take care of Mom's living situation.
God's speed Angie.
For more information, Google CPS corruption.
The caseworkers were very hard working, overworked in fact because of the high volume of cases they had to handle, and always worked for the welfare of the children. I had a lot of respect for them.
But there would first be an intake assessment, a caseworker would be assigned to investigate, and if I recall correctly, there was an opportunity to change the situation w/o the filing of formal papers. I don't recall if that happened before any court hearing though. It's been a long time since I worked there.
Once the infection is clear and Mom is still having violent issues, then as others above had mentioned, have the doctor recommend some meds to help calm Mom.
I second Jeanne's idea.
Your first responsibility is to your family's safety.
If your children are small and she could overpower and injure them, she must be removed at once.
Tell her MD about her violent behavior. Maybe (s)he can order a medication to subdue your mother until she can be placed in a facility. Maybe that's all she would need to not be violent and could stay at home.
Ask for a referral to a social worker for available facilities for your mom. Often the local library has booklets on living arrangements for seniors (with and without Alz).
I think other arrangements need to be made for your mother, as soon as possible.