I am 27 and I'm taking care of my 59-year-old mother. She's always had health issues (type II diabetic, high blood pressure, thyroid, etc.) For nine months and counting she's had these stomach pains keeping her up at night and for a while we thought something else was wrong. She got diagnosed with IBS (with stress contributing to it, like some of it being "in her head" I do think some of this is because of depression). She doesn't take her diet seriously at all and is just always talking about the chronic pain. She's also fractured her back this year and also had low blood pressure to the point where it's 54. It's been bad enough to where she's attempted suicide.
I don't know what to do anymore and I am at an impasse. I love my mom to death, she's one of the nicest people you could meet, but this is more than I can handle. I'm not a doctor. And I want to start a nice life with my boyfriend who just got a really nice apartment and a new job, and I want to work on my own career. However I feel so guilty trying to live my own life while she is in constant pain. But I don't know what else to do. I'm working on getting her Medicaid and to see a psychiatrist but not sure how long that's going to be. I feel so numb and I just wish this all was OVER!!!
You are not responsible for your mom or her care. You are only responsible for yourself, so let mom handle her own affairs(she should have been doing that all along)and quit treating her like a baby, as it's way past time that your mom grows up ands starts taking responsibility for her own life. I mean she's a grown woman who doesn't have any major health issues, that should keep you from living your life, so if you're still living with her, get out ASAP, and hand the reigns of her care back over to her, so you can get on with your life.
The fact that she does not take her diet seriously is NOT up to you to manage, control or coerce her into following a healthier lifestyle. What she does is beyond your control.
YOU should set boundaries, guidelines and spell out for her that she is in charge of herself. As long as she has no cognitive issues she should grasp this concept.
Her "job" as a parent is to raise you, nurture you and help develop you into a functioning, independent person that can and should live their own life.
Your "job" as a young adult is to take that functioning, independent person and live your life.
Your "job" is not to play a role reversal and parent your parent.