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My Mom has Stage IV lung cancer and is undergoing radiation for the third time in 3 years. They told us that it will come back again. She also has MCI so her memory and her thinking is not always correct. We met with Hospice and she seemed to be at peace. She wasn’t going to do radiation again, but the doctor talked her into it. Now she questions everyday why she is doing it. It is so painful for me to listen to her cough so much she can’t catch her breath and she has been on every kind of meds to try and help it. Now she doesn’t want to take the pain meds. I know it is not all about me and I am trying by best to honor God by honoring her, but I am tired. Thank you for letting me vent. I sometimes wonder if I am not losing my mind.

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I am going to be a little cynical here. Of course the doctor wants her to do more chemo, its how he makes money and so do the pharmaceutical companies. Kick backs too. Cancer is a money maker.

How old is Mom? This is usually not curable. Will going thru this lengthen her life enough to be worth being sick. I have had lung and breast cancer among my family. All did chemo which maybe got them a year. But what a year. My sister couldn't work for 8 months. Would they have really lived any longer if they had not going thru that poison. Your Mom has already been shown she is not going to survive this why put herself thru it. The MCI, could that be caused by all these treatments. They say there is a Cancer fog.

Better that she stop the treatments and let Hospice help her thru any of the pain. There is only so much medicine can do.
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There comes a time in everyone's terminal cancer journey, when the one with cancer says enough is enough, and they're willing to let nature take its course. It doesn't sound like your mom is quite there yet, if she has let her Dr. talk her into doing radiation again. I think it's human nature to want to fight to stay alive, but at some point peace must be made with the inevitable.
Next time she questions why she's doing the radiation again, perhaps you question it with her, and tell her once again what her options are to live out her remaining days in comfort and peace.
Getting her set up with hospice is the next step in allowing her to do just that. I wish you and your mom peace in whatever decisions are made. God bless you.
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AlvaDeer May 2021
I haven't heard it said better than this funkyg. I haven't anything to add. Except my own best wishes out to LostinMCI and to her poor Mom. I still remember having to FIGHT with my Mom, against her doctor, for hospice. My Mom was in her 90s. She was gone in two weeks.
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Welcome, Lost.

Is mom on Hospice at this time?

What is her reasoning in not wanting pain meds?

Is she afraid of addiction?

((((Hugs)))))
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