OVer and over I am told she can't live alone - you have to make sure she is safe. Well, I am a firm believer that someone with Alzheimers will NEVER be safe again. Just last month, an employee at the extremely expensive, highly-regarded memory care facility was arrested for killing one of the residents. I watched my stepfather decline rapidly once we moved him there. Moving my mom against her wishes will not be a magic bullet that will solve anything in my mind. Why wouldn't we want to allow her to stay in her home until we absolutely have to? At what point do we decide she doesn't have the right to have control over what little she can? She has lost everything - her intellect, her social life, her ability to drive, travel, her husband, her dog, her independence. Are we wrong for trying to respect her unequivocal desire to stay home? I have 2 sisters and all 3 of us are living in a constant state of stress and anxiety and heartbreak and sorrow and irritation and fear and uncertainty. I worry about calling someone because getting authorities of any kind involved seems risky. We don't know what to do but we know that we don't want to be in a situation where we don't have any say about what happens to her. All i know is my biggest fear is Alzheimers and thinking that my only child could possibly have to live like we are living but without siblings to help.
My stepmother is in MC, declining at a rapid pace, yes, she has no independence as she does not have the mental capacity to care for herself. She is well cared for and independence means nothing to her.
I look at both situations the same way, it is no longer what they want, it is what they need.
Not making an informed decision is not the answer, that is why you are all anxious and stressed. Why not tour some facilities and see what actually goes on.
Don't super impose your analysis of what she is missing on her and if she has dementia her thoughts are not rational in the first place.
Good Luck!