My Mom is 94 and the only enjoyment she gets out of life now is to make us take her out for a ride in the car EVERY DAY. What to do?

Taking care of your own physical health (and mental health) is very important. If mom is 95, then you are likely a senior as well...and if you get injured lifting her - what happens? Who would take care of her while you were unable to do so? Who would help you if you had some mobility impairments for a while.
I'd see if a doctor or nurse practitioner with a focus in geriatrics might be able to assess her, set what meds might not be needed anymore, and maybe what could be added to reduce discomfort/'nit picking" (a kind of agitated anxious repetition of an idea or question, usually.). Hired help in the house to give you some support would be good...mom won't like it, but often the hired helper and the elder get along ok after a few visits..as long as there is no audience for mom to play too!

Other than the daily car ride, how is it going for you taking care of her otherwise? How did you end up being the one to take her in? How long as she lived with you?

My mother enjoyed taking rides out, even riding along when I ran errands. We live in a small town and Mom could stay in the car while we went through the drive-thru or even when I went into a business for a short time (when the weather allowed). As she aged and became wheelchair-bound and a little more cognitively challenged, getting her into the car alone became more of a challenge for me. We were fortunate in that we had family close enough to stop by and assist in getting her into and out of the car (even having her 10-year-old great-grandson adding an extra hand to handle the chair while I focused on Mom was very helpful) and by a regional transportation service.

If Mom has the funds, consider a mini-van with a rear wheelchair ramp installed. They can be purchased used for $15,000-$20,000 and maintain their resale value pretty well. The back bumper area folds down into a ramp which allows an occupied wheelchair to be loaded into the center rear area while allowing 2 bucket seats of the rear row to still be usable. You can have 4 people (including the driver) in the minivan plus the wheelchair-bound person. There are seatbelts to strap the wheelchair into place and the occupant in the chair. I first saw them in action by a regional transportation service the state supports in our area. They picked up my mother at the door and transported her to Adult Day Care (ADC) and returned her in the afternoon. I think Mom may have liked the rides to/from ADC as much as being there.

If Mom cannot afford the minivan herself, check with the Area Agency on Aging in your area to see if there is a similar transportation service available. Here in East TN the rides cost $2 a trip and you need to be a bit flexible in the scheduling (stated one-hour window but they usually arrive in a 10-15 minute window).

BTW, the second-row seat of a minivan can be a lot easier to get a disabled/challenge person into. Having the door slide away provides easier access and the person has more room to get their feet into the vehicle. While my mother had mobility challenges, most of the time she could stand and turn to assist transfers. Rolling the chair up to the minivan, having her stand and use a walker to turn 90 degrees and sit in the car seat while her feet remained outside, then slide around forward and get her feet in worked well for a long time.

Can't you at least take her out around the block in her wheelchair to see something that's not the same four walls. It's not like this one task is going to be forever.

As far as finding something else to occupy herself, I always advocate for people to jot down their memoirs. There are tons of websites with prompts to get her thinking about things to write down. One's memoirs need not be chronological, or cover every year's activities in painstaking detail, and prompts help you start thinking about a time or place, then that leads to more memories.

Get her a pen and paper or a digital recorder, and give her a list of prompts. Maybe she can get through one every day or so.

Here's a good site with prompts --

https://authority.pub/memoir-writing-prompts/

My Hard Hat responsive is: No, I can't drive you.

Coz really, unless she can stand well enough & transfer into & out of the car with just minimal help.. it's heavy-duty lifting, pushing, pulling. This + wheelchair wrangling = back breaking.

So, outings are necessary only, in wheelchair taxi imho.

IF you are willing to compromise, have a team of sturdy helpers or are built like Popeye (after his spinach) - agree on 1-2 outings a week.

I get that the lady sadly has no other interests left. But also has no insight left that this physical task will ruin her best caregiver.

So my 2c is;
1c Look after yourself.
2c Think about what gives her pleasure from these outings? Attention? Fresh air? Seeing other people? Birds?

How can you replicate that at home instead?

My relative is the same. Nag nag naging for drives. (Not to me.. I maintain a Hard No). Wheeling to sit out on the porch is my limit.

I don't think there's anything "easy" about getting a 95 year old dementia ridden elder with severe arthritis who's wheelchair bound in and out of a car for a daily ride!! Why does she want to do such a thing if she's suffering extreme pain to begin with? I surely cannot imagine trying to use slide boards with her either, and risking a fall and risking a back injury on your part! My mother is the same age, with advanced dementia, is wheelchair bound and weighs nearly 200 lbs. My husband has such a hard time muscling her in and out of the car that we had to give up trying a while ago when it became too much. She has no core strength either, so it was literally like moving dead weight around including lifting her legs into and out of the car. Sorry, no can do.

I suggest you get her some sounds of nature CDs and a few beautiful scenery videos and put them on the tv set for her to watch while propped up in her chair. Leave the room while she's enjoying the video and take a break yourself from the nit picking. Don't expect your mother to do anything much, with dementia at play, and learning a new hobby isn't realistic.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation

Personally, I would find that an easy request, especially with the beautiful Autumn colors.    Just being outside is calming, soothing and/or healing for some, and that may be why she wants to get out and away from the house.   (You might want to check out "forest bathing", which has nothing to do with bathing but addresses the relaxation and calm that forests can create.)

Gas is expensive now, no question about that.  But can you double up on other errands or trips to allow her this indulgence? 

As to the entry and exit from the car, I can understand that, and the challenges it presents. Are you using a slide board to help her get in the car?  If you're not familiar with them, they're smooth boards that are placed underneath the left hip of the individual while still in the wheelchair.   The person then scoots from the wheelchair onto the slide board, as far left (and into the car) as possible.

Then she tips to the left side, enough to allow the board to be gently removed.

My father made 2 of these boards for my mother, one longer than the other.  They made transferring from a wheelchair so much easier.  

Slide boards of varying configurations can be seen here:

https://www.elderdepot.com/transfer_boards.php

Transfer method from wheelchair across a board to a car:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dcUemgT6Go

If this is the only enjoyment in her life, I think I'd try to make it enjoyable for myself as well.    She probably doesn't have much about which to be happy otherwise.

There are really three issues here. One is “she makes us take her out in the car every day”. Well she can’t ‘make you’. Start saying no if you don’t want to. And make her pay for the gas – many older people get very mean, and paying something might lead to her being less keen.

The second question is how to handle that she “makes our life miserable with non stop nit picking”. There are lots of answers on just this question, mostly about walking away saying ‘I’ll come back when you are feeling a bit more cheerful’.

What is more important is “she has severe arthritis so she is in severe pain”. She should have enough pain killers to stop this. If her doctor is one of those who are now too scared to prescribe enough codeine to control the pain, find another doctor. Addiction in someone who is 94 is a crazy non-problem. Even if she does get addicted, she won’t be out robbing banks to pay for her ‘habit’.

Tell her the car is broken or whatever therapeutic fib will appease her, if any. Does she usually start nagging about it in the mid to late afternoon? If so, she could be Sundowning. She will need to be distracted/diverted to get through this period and you can search online for strategies to do this. It's hard when she has limited willingness/abilities due to arthritis.

Do you have a bird feeder at window she can sit by to watch? My mom spends a lot of time bird watching. Also, stuffed, mechanical "pets" seem to be very comforting to some people with dementia (my Aunt has a weird, multi-colored stuffed Llama that is alternately her baby/boyfriend). You will just need to keep trying things until something "works".

My Husband also loved going for a ride.
I had to stop taking him for rides when it became unsafe for him and for me to get him into the car.
Use that basis for your decision taking her out.
would she enjoy it if you took her for a walk?
would she enjoy just a bit of time out sitting in the sun getting some fresh air?
If she wants to go for a ride, that being the key here tell her...
The car does not have gas right now, I will get gas tomorrow.
The tail light is broken, I can't drive it until it is fixed.
I don't have time right now to go for a car ride, maybe later

Yes I live with her full time...

You mentioned that Mom has a Dementia. Because of her short-term memory its going to be hard to teach her anything new or that will keep her busy will be hard. Maybe Adult care?

Are you living with her? Because she will not be able to live on her own as time goes on.