My mom is the widow of a veteran and getting her aid through the VA is daunting to say the least. Why can't they pull the vet info they need?

Everyone I know that got A&A said it took a minimum of 18 months to get.

You have to admit, if it is designed to get people to just give up, it works.

Oh , don’t give up. I think that’s a big mistake ! And yes the VA is daunting.

Look up your states county office for VA assistance. It is not the VA , but a county office. They helped me get the forms all submitted . My mom was in another state. I used my states office.

if you cannot do the above, try your county office of aged and disability, maybe they know of someone you can hire to do this. My moms first in home care company had contacts for someone I could hire to file for my mom. I did not go this route.

your mom will need this benefit. My mom is now in memory care and receives over $1200 a month in aide and attendance benefits.

Mhousto, do you have any idea how large the VA is and how much data it has on those who served, at least as far back as WWII (I don't know if it goes back to WWI)?

Babs suggests what we did:  we went to the County VA office and got the help we needed.  The counselor had Internet access to records sources and streamlined the process immensely.

But you should at least have the DD214; all Veterans should keep that handy.

Yes, the County Office. I was lucky, my Dads Military records were all in the same envelope he got them in. I had info the rep said he never saw before. I had a paper saying Dad was eligible for benefits. My Mom had been married before at the age 18 and for a year. She had been married to my 57 years but I had to get that first marriage certificate. The rep sat down with me and filled out the paperwork. I had to get forms from her AL and doctors. In the end, she got turned down, something to do with 13k. She only had her SS and very small pension. The assets she had would only keep her in the AL one year. I didn't appeal because she was going on Medicaid and u can't have both.

Yes, they make it hard.

I'm not a Vet but I have a couple of suggestions. First, contact your congressional representatives (both senators and representatives, and at both state and federal levels). If you can, find one of these who is himself or herself a Vet. If you have a computer, draft an email to all of the above, save it in a word file and then just copy and paste the same thing and send it to each of them. They should all have email addresses on their individual home pages. If you don't know how to do this, a youngster (grandchild, niece, etc.) can help you with this (copying and pasting). You might want to then snail mail a copy of this to each. Sometimes you luck out and get to speak to a congressional aide who will help you. (This happened to me yesterday when I got within 15 minutes a very detailed email with information on a State bill, including when it would go into effect, what it stipulates, etc.) that directly affects me. Without this person's help, I don't think I would have been able to find the information I need, as "tracking" state legislation can be daunting.

Next piece of advice, isn't all that obvious but it might come in handy. Try to find out if there are "Veterans' Centers" at local universities and colleges (including community colleges). Usually the Director (or whatever her or his title is) is a vet. And their staff is usually made up of vets, also. In principle, these places are set up to help vets use their educational benefits, but they also have their hands in a lot of pots, and believe me (as I worked with one) they KNOW how daunting the process may be to find out what's available to vets, and how to cut through red tape so vets can actually use their benefits.

I'm not sure the VA itself is at fault here. Dealing with any kind of bureaucracy these days is difficult.

Good luck.

I contacted the State Veterans Service Officer at the State of Colorado (where I live) Dept of Military & Veteran's Affairs Office. She filled out the forms FOR me, but asked that I bring in dad's discharge papers, birth certificate, etc. Aid & Attendance benefits were approved within 2 months for him *on behalf of himself and my mother*; after he passed, I contacted the same Officer to apply for mom's widow's benefits to be continued; same thing happened; within 2 months, those benefits were approved and continued via direct deposit until the day she died. I, however, had to jump thru a few hoops to be appointed Federal Fiduciary to oversee the funds were being used properly (she had dementia and lived in Memory Care AL).

See if you can contact your state's Dept of Military and Veteran's Affairs and be put in contact with the Service Officer there specifically to help you accomplish what you are trying to accomplish. You will need the service documents, however, along with other forms as the Federal government LOVES red tape and documents, as we all know *and hate*

I hope you can get this all figured out. Mom was getting $1318 a month in 2022 which helped a lot.

GOOD LUCK

The Veterans Assistance Commission could help you with much of this.
There is a BIG problem with some of the information though. There was a fire in St Louis in 1973 at the National Personnel Records Center that destroyed many records of Veterans of the Army and Air Force. So other necessary information might be scattered.

I am a little confused here. Do widows of veterans necessarily get benefits?

Can you find the DD 214 form in your parent's belongings?
You need this form.

Stick it out, I did that for Mom and it paid off in the end. I still can’t figure out how one document out of +30 pages I submitted was lost but I had to send everything in again! A case worker was assigned to our case and she was a big help in getting the right information, the right documents, and financial craziness sorted out.

There was a large fire in St. Louis in 1973 that destroyed many get records, including my dad's.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Personnel_Records_Center_fire

80% loss to records of U.S. Army personnel discharged November 1, 1912, to January 1, 1960;[2]

Yes it was a difficult process. I used an attorney and it was expensive. But they do pay you from the date of the application so the back pay covered the attorney. My father received $1900 a month. It was worth the trouble.

lkdrymom, are you aware that there are statutory limitations on payment for applications?   Legislative intent seems to be that Veterans should NOT have to pay others for preparation of applications for benefits.

https://codes.findlaw.com/us/title-38-veterans-benefits/38-usc-sect-5901.html and

https://codes.findlaw.com/us/title-38-veterans-benefits/38-usc-sect-5902.html

"(a)(1) The Secretary may recognize representatives of the American National Red Cross, the American Legion, the Disabled American Veterans, the United Spanish War Veterans, the Veterans of Foreign Wars, and such other organizations as the Secretary may approve, in the preparation, presentation, and prosecution of claims under laws administered by the Secretary."

There are more statutory establishments of representation issues, but this one seems to be the broad, overall mandate.

Have you reached out to a local home care agency in your area for assistance? The folks can assist if their is no case pending. If case is pending they can not help until pending case is closed.

I totally understand.
Before my MIL passed we tried over and over to get spousal aid from the VA that she should have been entitled to from my FIL’s time in the service.
It was always this form was needed or we didn’t have the correct info.
Absolutely ridiculous dealing with the VA system.
We eventually spoke to an Elder Care Law lawyer and he told us to give up. He said they make it so hard that often the person is gone by the time you get any money and he was correct.
I wish you the best!

You need, as a viable option; VA Attorney that have the knowledge and expertise to submit the VA Form application called
"Aid and Attendance".
There ate many attorneysNationwide that will do this for you. You need the Veterab's DD 214 to begin and medical documentation
This is a applications tgat takes time and detailed nedical and income information but if you qualify they can provide BACK TRACK COMPENSATION FROM DATE OF APPLICATION. You pay nothing upfront. The VA Pays the Attorney 20% of the claim value.

It is a tedious and long process. My dad actually died months before his VA was finished so we had to start all over with mom's request for help. I did not give up and it made a huge difference once the income started. We had applied for Aid & Attendance.

I did use the help of American Veteran's aid.

I paid a private company to complete application. I provided the documents needed. Best $1500 I ever spent.
BUT, I agree it is cumbersome. Seems like the VA would use info already in their system to approve. Maybe someone could assist you, like a church member?

I had started the process back in April 2021. Then for whatever reason my sister felt like she needed to take over. Anyhow they had told her and me that it takes at least 6 months to get approved. Luckily he still had his dd 214. Unfortunately he passed in November so he never got the benefit and now in order to get my mom approval she needs a medical condition to start the process all over again. If approved they will make it retroactive.

Widows may qualify for VA DIC which is "VA Indemnity Compensation" Pension for WIDOWS. The qualification is tricky and depends on widow's annual income.
The VA Form is 21P-534EZ.
Again, get an accredited VA Agency like DAV or better Attorney to help you apply and monitor the process.
You don't pay the attorney 20% unless your claim is approved.

I am going through that process now with my mom. It does take a sit down and get it done approach. There are videos online on how to fill out the different forms as well as Google information. I think there are phone numbers you can call as well. I've never used the phone numbers. Your relative may also be entitled to Department of Defense survivor benefits as well. And yes it takes months and a willingness. I think in the long run once these benefits are in place not only will your family member benefit but you as well since some of the cost, if not all, of taking care of them will be very helpful. Success to you and your loved one.

I would wonder why Mom does not have Dads records. Did she throw them out because she didn't think she would need them?

This is a lesson to all members that have spouses who served. Keep those records. My Mom had a drawer in her bedroom where she kept everything. TG she had Dads papers. I had worked with the government prior trying to get my nephews SSD for him. For the wheels to go a little faster you must have as much information as possible. I could have allowed the lawyer to contact Nephews previous doctors in another state, but I had already done that for his Trust. So the lawyer just recopied what I had.

I had the same issue with my mother in law. It took several years but finally i was told bt someone to try contacting a VA agency in another county and it was night and day. They helped us cut thru all the red tape and knew where to look. She got what she deserved. I wish someone had told us to look into other VAs in neighboring counties sooner! My MIL kept every scrap but when you're dealing with someone who is lazy or incompetent, it is of no use. Try other counties or areas until you find one that cares about helping vet families!

My husband was a Veteran diagnosed with Parkinson's in 1999 - probably from his exposure to Agent Orange from his tour of duties in Viet Nam. Originally, Parkinson's was not one of the listed side effects of Agent Orange through VA.

My husband was good at keeping his paperwork from his army days through discharge. It was still a long, time-consuming process. Sometimes, I would have to send a document, completed form, etc., three times. Please try to keep all copies of documents you forward to VA. It might make the process easier. I originally started out by filing the paperwork in a big four-inch / three-ring binder. When he died, I had three big accounting boxes full of his paperwork to / from VA.

If you have a DAV in your area, they might be able to assist you. One does not have to be a member for this service. They were helpful to us in the Phoenix area.

I personally think VA makes it difficult on purpose - so they don't have to pay out some benefits. I've seen some people just give up. I did not want to give up - as I felt spouse deserved whatever benefits might be provided by VA. He put the time in - all those years ago. Please don't give up.

Best to you both.

mhousto, I hope I can post here the name of the organization who helped us get my MIL's Aid and Attendance. If it gets deleted, feel free to private message me and I will give it to you. Veterans Home Care was a great help to us. https://veteranshomecare.com/

We had started with a local elder care consultant who left out some important details about the application process, which cause me considerable stress and confusion, and I was ready to throw in the towel. Hers was a for-profit business, and we didn't have any money for care to begin with. You actually have to have records of medical and/or care expenses, and we did not. She did, however, tell me about VHC, who will walk you through the application, and once they determine the applicant should qualify, they will make a no-interest loan so you can begin care right away. Benefits are retroactive to the month that you file an Intent to File form. We had some of FIL's documents, and they helped us to get the rest that are needed. I emailed or faxed everything to them and they checked it all over and sent it on to VA.

Mom ended up with several months of retro pay in a lump sum, and that's how we repaid the loan, with quite a bit left over. The one drawback is that they will administer the home care and set you up with an agency, which is how they get a little bit of a kickback for their efforts. If you are going through an agency, you'll get a lot fewer hours of care because they will charge $37/hour and pay their employee $14-$15. The agency takes care of employment taxes, workers' comp, etc. We stuck with this arrangement for about a year, just because I wanted VHC's help with the periodic reporting to VA. Once I know the ropes pretty well, I released VHC and the care agency and hired a payroll service at $45 a month and bought Workers' comp insurance at about $500 a year. We were able to almost triple the hours of care and give the caregiver $2.00/hour more than the agency paid. Releasing VHC did trigger sort of an audit from the VA, with several pages of forms to fill out, so be sure to keep detailed records of care and medical expenses from the beginning. Best of luck to you. I think you'll find it worth the effort in the end.

My MIL was in same situation. We had a local attorney who specializes in VA Benefits complete the paperwork for us. Luckily, all of my FIL’s military info was in one place and easy to find. The attorney charged us $500 and the benefit was approved within 2 months with very little trouble. Best of luck to you.

I looked in to this for my dad last week. Unfortunately because he was over the minimum assets to qualify. Everyone wants you to spend down your money you need for homeowners insurance, car insurance and home repairs & food and burial to qualify for help. In the end I will continue to take care of my dad daily so I can have 10 days off January. Those 10 days will cost my dad 5-6 thousand for care. Where as my all inclusive trip for two will only cost 2 thousand. My dad only needs help getting up and two bed. Plus dinner fixed. But most places want 4 hr min

Of course they make it difficult. Illegals flood across the border and our government stands there and gives them free phones, fly them around the country, give them free housing, medical care, education, etc. But our veterans, it’s like pulling teeth to get help for them. If they even “qualify”. I’ve been in your shoes so I feel your pain and truly empathize.

I applied to Aid and Attendance for my mother. I had all of my dad's paperwork. Didn't have to order anything. It was approved and she had a current check plus check for back payment in less than 2 months. She got his widow's pension plus $1350.00 a month A & A. VA office was very helpful.

I totally understand how you feel, I was in the same situation when my father died and mom already had dementia. Neither thought ahead and I could find anything. Had to go to 4 different places on base to start to get things done. Paper sent back because someone had a typo error. Took forever to get some help and though she got some help from Aid & Attendence( I think that’s what it’s called) it wasn’t as much as I thought it would be. They were married 57 years and he retired after 30 years in. They paid into a survival spousal support thing so, she was able to get a portion of what his retirement was. Thankful they did that!