The local funeral home took care of the cremation of my ex. His sister was the administrator. He could have been buried in the VA cemetery but my SIL did not pay the bill so the arrangements were not made. After 2yrs someone else could have claimed the body if willing to pay. Yes the funeral home has to keep remains for 4 years. I was told, have known funeral director since we were children, that his Sister finally picked up the remains and paid them. Since she is not talking to me, I have no idea what she did with the remains. Since they were not close, same father different mother and 14 yrs difference in age, I can only imagine.
I am sorry for your loss. And I can't understand why you could not contact the funeral home since they are a business and must receive calls on a regular basis. I would say after 5 years the ashes are no longer available if they were still at the funeral home.
From ur home to Miss is little more than 11 hrs. Why did you not go there when Mom passed?
Anna, I have read your profile. It is now five years and you are well beyond what the current DSM5 has finally entered as a psychiatric condition known as prolonged grieving.
You list the funeral home that dealt with your Mom's remains after cremation, and you say that you "have not been able to get anyone" to speak with there. If you have a phone number I would keep trying, as they should, especially if they are owned by the same people over these course of this 5 year time period, know the disposal of your Mom's remains. Usually, if no stipulations are made by the family at the time (and as caregiver I would have guessed that is you) the ashes are spead at sea.
The remains of your Mom are, as I know you know, not your mom. She is now in your own heart. But if after five years you are not getting on with a good life that she would have wanted for you, it is time to seek counseling help.
Maybe it's because you weren't the executor of her estate?
Do you have any other siblings or family who were involved in her life at the time?
Or, was she a ward of the county (ie she had a court-appointed guardian who also was then also her executor when she passed)? Was she on Medicaid?
In my state the court-appointed guardian contacted us, the family, to find out where my SFIL's remains should be sent. If no guardian has been in contact with you while your Mom was alive, then they wouldn't know where to find you... is it possible they contacted a sibling or other relative?
You don't give enough information to know if you can legally be informed of your Mom's remains. Five years is a long time to wait to find out. I'm sorry for your loss.
Check the regulations in the State where the Funeral Home is. In most States the Funeral Home has to hold Cremains for 4 years. Some will hold indefinitely. If you have had no luck contacting the Funeral Home itself then You could also try contacting your : State Department of Financial and Professional Regulations. or Funeral Directors and Embalmer's Licensing and Disciplinary Board.
I am sorry for your loss. And I can't understand why you could not contact the funeral home since they are a business and must receive calls on a regular basis. I would say after 5 years the ashes are no longer available if they were still at the funeral home.
From ur home to Miss is little more than 11 hrs. Why did you not go there when Mom passed?
It is now five years and you are well beyond what the current DSM5 has finally entered as a psychiatric condition known as prolonged grieving.
You list the funeral home that dealt with your Mom's remains after cremation, and you say that you "have not been able to get anyone" to speak with there. If you have a phone number I would keep trying, as they should, especially if they are owned by the same people over these course of this 5 year time period, know the disposal of your Mom's remains. Usually, if no stipulations are made by the family at the time (and as caregiver I would have guessed that is you) the ashes are spead at sea.
The remains of your Mom are, as I know you know, not your mom. She is now in your own heart. But if after five years you are not getting on with a good life that she would have wanted for you, it is time to seek counseling help.
I wish you the very best.
Do you have any other siblings or family who were involved in her life at the time?
Or, was she a ward of the county (ie she had a court-appointed guardian who also was then also her executor when she passed)? Was she on Medicaid?
In my state the court-appointed guardian contacted us, the family, to find out where my SFIL's remains should be sent. If no guardian has been in contact with you while your Mom was alive, then they wouldn't know where to find you... is it possible they contacted a sibling or other relative?
You don't give enough information to know if you can legally be informed of your Mom's remains. Five years is a long time to wait to find out. I'm sorry for your loss.
If you have had no luck contacting the Funeral Home itself then
You could also try contacting your :
State Department of Financial and Professional Regulations.
or
Funeral Directors and Embalmer's Licensing and Disciplinary Board.
https://www.craighurttfuneralhome.com/