Her husband sounds like a real piece of work. He won't let you in the house when he's there? WTF??
This is a not a safe environment for your mom. Hubby could certainly be burnt out and just hates what he's doing so is not able to be nice to your mom anymore. She deserves better.
I would start looking into facilities for her to move into ASAP. Or he can move out and you can arrange caregivers at home for mom.
How much help does your mom need? I am going to play devils' advocate here and while I say what I am going to say it may be a reason not an excuse for his behavior ... If mom does need a lot of assistance is it possible that her husband (I am guessing this is a step-dad to you) is burnt out. If he has been doing this for 3 years alone that is a long time. Can they get help into the house that will help her and give him a break? Even a caregiver 2 or 3 times a week for 4 or 5 hours each day can make a world of difference to a caregiver that is burnt out.
If mom falls and can no t get up she should call 911 and ask for a "Lift Assist" generally if there is no transport to the hospital there is no charge for the lift assist call. For safety reasons her husband should not be helping her get up, nor should you. If he hurts himself or her what happens then? If you hurt yourself or her if you try getting her up who will care for you while you recover.
Keep in mind that he is the one that will make medical decisions for her unless she has selected someone else. If she does not want him making decisions for her she HAS to appoint someone else and that has to be done legally.
If he is abusing her mentally or physically that should be reported to APS. She has to be willing to verify the abuse. She has to be willing to remove herself (or him) from the situation.
This is a not a safe environment for your mom. Hubby could certainly be burnt out and just hates what he's doing so is not able to be nice to your mom anymore. She deserves better.
I would start looking into facilities for her to move into ASAP. Or he can move out and you can arrange caregivers at home for mom.
I am going to play devils' advocate here and while I say what I am going to say it may be a reason not an excuse for his behavior ...
If mom does need a lot of assistance is it possible that her husband (I am guessing this is a step-dad to you) is burnt out. If he has been doing this for 3 years alone that is a long time.
Can they get help into the house that will help her and give him a break?
Even a caregiver 2 or 3 times a week for 4 or 5 hours each day can make a world of difference to a caregiver that is burnt out.
If mom falls and can no t get up she should call 911 and ask for a "Lift Assist" generally if there is no transport to the hospital there is no charge for the lift assist call.
For safety reasons her husband should not be helping her get up, nor should you. If he hurts himself or her what happens then? If you hurt yourself or her if you try getting her up who will care for you while you recover.
Keep in mind that he is the one that will make medical decisions for her unless she has selected someone else. If she does not want him making decisions for her she HAS to appoint someone else and that has to be done legally.
If he is abusing her mentally or physically that should be reported to APS. She has to be willing to verify the abuse. She has to be willing to remove herself (or him) from the situation.