You describe your mother as an ungrateful narcissistic lifelong abuser. Why on earth would you pack up your life and leave your very ill husband behind to go and become a caregiver to someone like this? She is not old. If she has dementia (which can happen with younger people) find a nursing home/memory care/ AL facility for her to be placed in. If she doesn't, then make an appointment for her with a dermatologist and go back home to your husband who really needs you.
Your mother is young, do you mind telling us why she needs a full time caregiver?
Unless her prognosis is monumentally worse than your husband's (is she on Hospice?) then I agree with the others, HE needs you more and your first obligation is to him, mom will have to find other caregivers or move to an appropriate facility.
Not to keep repeating what has been said but maybe you need to hear it from more than 2 people. GO HOME!!!! It is your husband that needs your care, your support. NOT your mother. Your mother is young and if she has a problem with dry skin she can seek a dermatologist that will help her. It is obvious that over the counter creams, ointments do not work she needs to seek medical advice. If she chooses not to see a doctor for this that is on her not you. She is an adult and can make her own decisions. If she does need more help than you indicate then SHE can hire caregivers or seek out an Assisted Living facility that will meet her needs. But YOU need to return to your first priority and that is your husband.
"Im married been with husband who has stage 4 cancer for 19 years. An have had to recently move 4 hours away from him to live with and take care of UNGRATEFUL NARCISSISTIC LIFE LONG ABUSIVE MOTHER"
Your mom is only 64 years old.
I agree with Gladimhere. Go home to your sick husband. He is the priority over your mother. Also, consider getting counseling for yourself since it appears you may have an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with your mother.
On her next post she mentions Mom has given Aunt POA. I told her on that post to go home. Husband is her priority.
She is not old. If she has dementia (which can happen with younger people) find a nursing home/memory care/ AL facility for her to be placed in.
If she doesn't, then make an appointment for her with a dermatologist and go back home to your husband who really needs you.
Unless her prognosis is monumentally worse than your husband's (is she on Hospice?) then I agree with the others, HE needs you more and your first obligation is to him, mom will have to find other caregivers or move to an appropriate facility.
GO HOME!!!!
It is your husband that needs your care, your support.
NOT your mother.
Your mother is young and if she has a problem with dry skin she can seek a dermatologist that will help her. It is obvious that over the counter creams, ointments do not work she needs to seek medical advice. If she chooses not to see a doctor for this that is on her not you. She is an adult and can make her own decisions.
If she does need more help than you indicate then SHE can hire caregivers or seek out an Assisted Living facility that will meet her needs.
But YOU need to return to your first priority and that is your husband.
"Im married been with husband who has stage 4 cancer for 19 years.
An have had to recently move 4 hours away from him to live with and take care of UNGRATEFUL NARCISSISTIC LIFE LONG ABUSIVE MOTHER"
Your mom is only 64 years old.
I agree with Gladimhere. Go home to your sick husband. He is the priority over your mother. Also, consider getting counseling for yourself since it appears you may have an unhealthy, co-dependent relationship with your mother.