Can't remember anyone, Doesn't remember the way we do things...been doing things same for 2 years....will only eat a few certain things, has always been self centered, and at 92, how much longer will she live?
Barbyjwil50, any time a parent moves in with a grown child what happens is the adult/child dynamic. That means your Mom has taken over the adult role and you are once again the child. So doing things her way is the only right way. Any chance of following her advice just to humor her and make life a bit calmer?
When someone is older they don't burn a lot of energy, therefore they will not eat as much. Also, as we age we tend to lose our sense of taste. That only thing that still taste good are sugary items. I remember my 90 something Mom's grocery list filled with pies, cookies, chocolate chip muffins, ice cream, etc. and now I know why. Same was happening with my Dad.
You need to walk away from caregiving. It is really unhealthy for both of you if you are wondering when she will die.
Not everyone is able to be a 24/7/365 caregiver. It is okay that you can't keep doing this. What is not okay is continuing without the patients and compassion to take care of another human being.
She deserves to be respected and treated with dignity at this stage of her life. Please advocate for that for her.
Get a new doctor. When I was trying to get a diagnosis for my son after he was born, I saw 2 midwives, my general physician, and 2 pediatricians before I got a diagnosis that I was satisfied with.
Arrogant doctors don’t take the time to listen to you and brush you and your concerns off. My GP took one look at my son and was completely honest and said, “This I have never seen before…. Let’s find out what it is!”
Good doctors know when they don’t know and admit it. If you’re not satisfied with your doctor, get a new one.
How much longer will she live? Well, we have a client who also has nothing wrong with her except for falls risk when mobilising (we walk close by her all the way to her bedroom, but she's so tiny and fragile that it's tempting to pick her up and carry her), and she is about to turn 100.
So don't hold your breath.
It says on your profile that your mother is living at home - do you mean she's been living in your home, for two years?
To be fair, your mother is 92. She may have had two years to get used to how things are done chez you, but then again for 90 years before that she was used to doing it her way. You won't get a diagnosis of dementia based only on her failure to learn and adapt.
At her next exam (for any reason) you can go prepared with a hand-written note that you discretely hand to the staff detailing who you are (in relationship to her) and that you are concerned for her cognitive and memory abilities so to please test her and also to test for a UTI. I did this with my MIL (and I was not the MPoA) and they were glad to accommodate me.
FYI I have a 102-yr old aunt the same as your mom: takes no meds, has no real medical issues. The longest people usually live is to about 117-ish. When I remind her of this she just shakes her head.
Will it change things for either of you do you think?
If I was 92 I guess I'd just eat what I'd like best. Maybe my favorites foods, or foods easiest to chew, digest etc.
What would really help do you think?
When someone is older they don't burn a lot of energy, therefore they will not eat as much. Also, as we age we tend to lose our sense of taste. That only thing that still taste good are sugary items. I remember my 90 something Mom's grocery list filled with pies, cookies, chocolate chip muffins, ice cream, etc. and now I know why. Same was happening with my Dad.
Not everyone is able to be a 24/7/365 caregiver. It is okay that you can't keep doing this. What is not okay is continuing without the patients and compassion to take care of another human being.
She deserves to be respected and treated with dignity at this stage of her life. Please advocate for that for her.
Arrogant doctors don’t take the time to listen to you and brush you and your concerns off. My GP took one look at my son and was completely honest and said, “This I have never seen before…. Let’s find out what it is!”
Good doctors know when they don’t know and admit it. If you’re not satisfied with your doctor, get a new one.
So don't hold your breath.
It says on your profile that your mother is living at home - do you mean she's been living in your home, for two years?
To be fair, your mother is 92. She may have had two years to get used to how things are done chez you, but then again for 90 years before that she was used to doing it her way. You won't get a diagnosis of dementia based only on her failure to learn and adapt.
How did she come to be on your hands?
FYI I have a 102-yr old aunt the same as your mom: takes no meds, has no real medical issues. The longest people usually live is to about 117-ish. When I remind her of this she just shakes her head.