I am POA of her whole estate I want him out, but that is her husband. Her name is the only name on the house they live in together. My grandparents willed it to her. He has no interests in providing additional care outside of the home with his VA benefits. My mother has been in detox hospitals at least 15 times in the past 7 years. Does my POA trump the marriage so I can remove him from home. I have pics of several bruises that takes place when she falls. She is constantly soaked in urine. Adult services has been out but because they live in a beautiful home they don't do anything. An attorney says as a husband he has rights. What's the use in my mother having a POA if I can not use it to save her life? Guardianship is a long process espically now with not being able to go before a judge. How can I excercise my rights to care for her if he is her husband?
When her choices to date have been so injurious to her wellbeing, that is a horrible and extremely difficult job. Exactly what does it say in your POA documentation? - there should be some specifics about what it authorises you to do.
By the way. It is a bit of cliché to suppose that the only reason APS don't act is that they are bamboozled by her beautiful home. Social workers tend not to have been born yesterday, and they are if anything *more* alert than the general population is to the abuses that can lie hidden behind expensive curtains.
So I conclude that APS actually don't act because your mother prevents them and in spite of everything she is legally to be regarded as a competent adult.
Try a different tack. What services would you like your mother to access?
It sounds like your mom would not be considered incapacitated by a doctor. As sad as it is, mom has the right to make her own bad decisions.
I'm surprised Adult Protective Services wants no involvement. The size of the house doesn't preclude abuse. I would call them again with your evidence. I would also continue to call attorneys, and maybe an elder care atty, to get better advice. I would call the Alheimer's Assn and ask for their ombudsman. He/she may be able to navigate you thru this sitation.
I don't know what "borderline" Alzheimer's is but having dementia requires better care than she's getting from her husband.
BTW, your subject line (mom has dementia and borderline Alz) made me wonder if you knew that Alz IS a type of dementia. Dementia is just an umbrella term for various types neurological degenerative diseases, of which Alz is one.
Not lecturing you. Just sharing what I have learned from my neurologist.
Another atty may be able to answer questions for you or provide alternatives, but one thing you need to ask about is moving him out of house now AND if he passes away, In some states, you cannot move the spouse out even after death - you maintain the home - and they pretty much live there as long as they want.
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