My mother has Lewy Body Dementia and lives in a care home. She has good days and bad days. When she has visitors she is quite animated and happy, particularly to see my brothers and their wives or as they live away. If I attend with them (or my daughter) she will treat me with contempt. An example would be telling them I vist her whether she wants me to or not. Yet we have always been close and she appears to value my visits when I am alone. Along with my stepfather, I support and vist more than any of the others. It is puzzling.
And if that's the case... GIVE ME TREATS. MUSIC, AND let us dance !!! I can't dance,, but if I come down with EARLY ALZ, ETC... I will not care if I miss the beat... Let's dance .. :) Enjoy the time with mom... And if she gets cranky.. it's time to say, LOVE YOU MOM... See you tomorrow :) Give her a kiss on the cheek... It will be ok.
When you do visit...make it about love.. music, dancing.. what makes her happy?
She may not want to see someone unhappy.. What was one of her favorite past times, if you know? Bring in photos, music, dance..FOOD.. FUN FOOD. AND TREATS!!! Any favorite treats she made with your kids in her home or yours?
Lighten up a bit if you can.. She sees you the most... Make it happy bring her milkshakes etc... Do bring in your kids, but make it fun for everyone. Even if it's for 5 minutes... Make it fun.. make it short.. I am learning a lil bit too late..
fun and short do not force anyone to say anything to anyone... Let nature take its course.. If no one wants to hug, or say hello... then let it go.. if not today, perhaps tomorrow... music, dance, and fun food.. Who can ask for more? Once mom gets crabby and shows distain,,, say I LOVE U MOM... see you in a couple days.
REMEMBER::::: ::::::: DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY... YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU KNOW!!!! THIS FEELING IS GOING BOTH WAYS... IT'S HARD ON HER TOO. TRULY...all of you are on a path.. amends need to be made. sometimes silently., understand she loves you.. Period...
It made me incredibly uncomfortable and I left. I also told her that I would never be an audience for her behavior which was degrading to her husband.
The thrill for her was having others witness her outburst. I would leave if I were you.
I’m sorry that you have dealt with this. It’s hurtful. I can’t speak to how it’s related to dementia but others who are knowledgeable of this in your situation will be able to help you.
Best wishes to you and your mom.