My mother has dementia, which I am sorry but at times I think she is faking cause can anybody be so out there!?! She has now started a new thing which is gross but I have a strong stomach but times its not possible not to vomit. Mom is now pooping and peeing EVERYWHERE like an untrained puppy. She wears depends but she will pull them down anywhere and go. Example such as in bed poop under her pillow, sits on edge of tub and does #1 and 2, in garbage cans, in the middle of floors, under coach coushins, she has even tried to do in the middle of Wal-Mart!! She of course uses her hand to wipe down there so now there is poo everywhere in her hair, mouth, face,walls, clothes, between her toes and under her finger nails. She is sly she will wait till I leave room to do it!! So she knows what she is doing! She likes to hide her poo I have caught her carry her poo to hide somewhere! She thinks it's funny!!!!! boy does that make me mad! Especially when I step in it!!! I try to hide most of this from the hubby and kids so they won't be grossed. WHAT DO I DO!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!
euroman, I told my kids they have my permission to shoot me if I get alzheimers, and its my biggest fear. I am on year 6 soon to go into year 7 with my mom in my house. She is so cute and sweet even though she cannot walk, pee, or talk, what are ya gonna do right? we just follow our hearts.
Can your family deal with this? should they be asked to deal with it? talk to your husband and any other family members who may be involved and reach a decision. Mom can't help it. Can you deal with it?
The above suggestions are all very helpful. Have you discussed some kind of sedation with Mom's Dr? You can not cope with this alone.
This sounds like a desperate situation that must be contaminated. With dementia reasoning and talking wont help.
How about the incontinence equivalent of a straight jacket....overalls that tie in the back, maybe around the shoulder blades, or incorporate a tie plastic wrap. Something that would require assistance to exit. A creative seamstress could alter regular overalls.
Of course, this would be worn with depends and she would need to be bathed and changed regularly.
She may rebel against this, but it may be worth a try. At least to need a solution for when you need to take her to the doctor's office.
Unfortunately an AL would likely handle this by sedation. They would not put up with random fecal deposits. You cannot either, this is not only hard to deal with but can cause infections in your home. Sedation will "fix" the problem, but it should be the last resort. Do not feel guilty if you have to go there.
Sorry you are dealing with this, it is a tough one to handle and preserve dignity.
Gosh if someone had told me years ago id be on a forum talking about poo id have said they were mad!!!!!xx
I sure hope you find a solution! You will be in my prayers.
Please don’t try and make me Remember…
Don’t try and make me Understand…
Just let me Rest and know you’re with Me…
Kiss my Cheek and Hold my Hand
I’m Confused beyond your concept…
I am Sad and Sick and Lost…
All I know is that I need You…
To be with me at all cost.
Don’t lose your patience with Me…
Please don’t Scold me, Curse, or Cry….
I can’t help the way I am Acting…
Although I will try.
Just Remember that I need You…
And the Best of me is Gone…
Please just stay beside me…
Until my Life is Done.
Alzheimers patients have the ability to read body language and voice inflections long into their illness.
They will still feel frustration, anger, loss, happiness, sadness, joy and love
BUT…they lose the ability to channel those feelings productively due to their brain.
A change in Environment is devastating, heightens behavior problems, disrupts sleeping, eating and toileting problems also impacting greatly on the caretaker.
Give all of this serious thought. You must make time to reflect and understand why you are in this situation. Whatever the reason, if it is affecting your health, you must be still inside and address all the underling issues.
We can help you and support you. You just have to be honest with yourself. I'm sure you want the best for your mom, but you count too.
Love and hugs....please stay in touch. Cattails
She is being a naughty little child. hugs to you!
You say that you don't have money for placement. You don't have to have money. Your FIL is the one who would be expected to pay. If he can't, he will qualify for medicaide and/or other progams.
Not having money is no reason for you and your husband to provide hands-on 24/7 care. Do not abandom your FIL-- that is not what I'm suggesting at all -- but do realize that there are ways to see that he gets good care that don't involve him being in your home.
Wishing you could teach him doesn't make it possible.