My mother has a difficult personality. She has dependent personality disorder, narcissistic tendencies, self medicates, sleeps all day and night. She has lived with us for the past 5 years and continues to decline due to not getting out of bed. She wants everything done for her and I’ve held boundaries and did the least possible so that she could maintain as much independence as possible. But now she has reached a point where she no longer has the strength to leave the basement. She can’t make it up the stairs or the side yard without help and a LOT of effort. So she avoids it. She falls quite often due to weakness and over medicating and cannot get herself up. I cannot lift her because she is twice my size and she is usually not dressed so she resists me getting help from my husband and son. She takes too much medication or skips medication. Partly due to confusion but mostly due to dependency. She doesn’t bathe, she is less and less capable of handling her finances. She is an online shopper and a hoarder and has so many auto ship orders that she swears she didn’t order and doesn’t know why they keep coming. I’ve arranged meals on wheels, got her a walker, a respite nurse bathe her once a week. She will not make any effort the doctor requests. She is on constant painkillers among many other medications and her memory suffers because of this. I’m having to handle all of her medications but she is resistant to me taking complete control. Due to my own limitations I can’t be her caregiver. I’ve made this clear to her multiple times but she doesn’t want to hear it. Tomorrow I will be on a call with her and her doctor to document all of these things and they will recommend her to a care center. My mother will be furious and will refuse to go. I have zero legal guardianship. I’m so emotionally and mentally exhausted. I’ve been her punching bag for the past five years. What steps do I need to take? There have been times in the past when she was hospitalized, either from sepsis or an overdose and I realize now that I shouldn’t have let them keep sending her home. I have children at home and a full time job and she’s very demanding but refuses to do anything she should do for her health. 🤷🏻♀️
