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Mom passed the end of September. She had LBDementia, Cancer on her legs and Parkinson's. It was a long hard emotional summer. I was diagnosed with Smoldering Multiple Myeloma in August. I am struggling from her being gone! I miss her but I am a rational person, but my mind doesn't seem to get it.


The day we buried her I got Shingles and Hives. The shingles were mild (bc of vaccine) but the hives are still here. I am exercising, eating better than ever before, and trying to make my way back into "normal", but I took care of Mom for 6 years, both while she was at home and while she was in a MC unit.


Any suggestions?


Do I need counseling? Or do I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

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You are doing what you can and you have excellent insight, and are "moving along" already with one foot in front of the other. BUT you are also dealing with your own illness. I find that anything even related to the herpes viruses comes along really really hard with any emotional upset so am not surprised about the shingles. The hives--just be certain this isn't related to your own medications. Once at the end of a difficult marriage I did suffer hives. I could run my finger up my arm and the skin would raise.
If you even suspect you could use a counseling session or two please consider a licensed social worker in private practice--they are good and quick at life transitions work and guiding you.
My heart goes out to you; there's a lot on your plate. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you will put yourself first now going forward.
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famfinder Nov 2022
Thank you for helping me see.. "You are dealing with your own illness". I believe as long as Mom was here and I was needed to help her in her transition, I ignored my own illness. It's time to mentally adjust.
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Maybe see your dr to get hives under control, a little temporary help with the anxiety , fall out. And a referral for counseling if you feel you need it. Nothing wrong with asking for the medication help…
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My deepest condolences on the loss of your mom. You have definitely been through the wringer. I would look for a therapist to discuss grief, mind/body and living with serious health concerns in a heartbeat were I in your shoes. Talking it all out with a pro, getting it all out. . . Especially since I know for me, personally, emotional stress causes or exacerbates physical stuff.
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