My mother was recently refused food because she was too sick to come to the dinner room. Couldn't this be considered abuse?

Faith64: Speak to the administrator of the facility.

I have been nurse and working as home health aide for last 25+ years. First let me say, was not specified who made that horrible, inappropriate comment. I have encountered nurses who were like this. Anyone who for whatever reason not able to eat in dining room are to be offered to have a tray brought to them. Patients are strongly encouraged to eat meals in dining room and for good reason. They should eat in dining room unless have valid reason not to and because I do not want to is not valid. Being sick is valid. On rare occasions because "I would like quiet time" would be no problem but do not get into a habit of it. Sometimes these dining rooms can get pretty loud. Maybe resident wants to avoid another resident and go earlier or later. Residents should be heard and be able to do this on occasion ???? Things happen but then again, the kitchen workers, aides have certain things they must get done at certain or by certain times and they must be respected. Dementia patients should not be allowed to rule! They pretty much have no reasoning abilities and think only of themselves.

That's not OK. My mom's AL will send up a meal if she doesn't feel like going to a meal for a whopping $4.50 per event. Unless she's sick and then of course they WANT her to stay in her room so there is no charge.

I hope you have to name of the person with the lousy attitude so you can share it with the boss.

If she was really ill, she should not have been expected to come to dinner. They can charge her to deliver it.

Can you leave her a stash of snacks if it happens again? I do agree with you that this is awful treatment

And document everything

Contact the administrator in writing. Even if the meal that had been served was no longer available there should have been plenty of snacks available in the kitchen and having a snotty aide tell you off rather than be helpful is beyond inappropriate, frankly I would go to war over this.

Is she in a nursing home or a memory care.
This is very unusual for a top notch care center. In most, when someone is ill, their trays an be delivered to room. There is, of course, extra charge for this.

Speak to the admins.
If this bowel issue continues it is time to check in with her doc, of course.

First talk to the admins of the facility and see what they say.