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We have Assisted livings and Memory Care facilities for those who can afford to private pay. For those who need 24/7 care and have no money, we have Longterm care. Our States have Medicaid for those who can't afford it.
If you don't feel you can do it any longer, place Mum. Dementia is not easy to deal with. Its too unpredictable and you never get a break. Its a 24/7 commitment that most of us cannot do. You are entitled to a life.
While she's in respite, you should probably talk to a social worker at the facility she's in and tell them you won't be taking her back.
They will help you in finding permanent placement for her.
If you're really dreading the end of respite care, it doesn't bode well for the future for you or Mum. Taking care of a parent sometimes means putting them in the hands of strangers and showing up regularly to ensure they're receiving the care they deserve.
Good on you for making use of respite care. Now take the next step in caring for yourself so you can continue caring for Mum - at a distance.
Simple solutions to simple problems.
Take this time to explore options.
Speak with the case manager at the respite facility or if she is on hospice speak with the case mgr for her hospice care and, begin the steps to have her placed . They should be competent to advise you on options based on financial availability and placement availability.
In the meantime, be sure that you are getting support for yourself via your faith leaders and/ or hospice Chaplain and/ or social worker to address your grief, and caregiver exhaustion and, faith based support for you ...