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Is there anyone other than you that acts as her caregiver? If not then I wouldn't give up visiting the facility - maybe not go to see her since it seems to upset not only her but you too. But if there is no one else, she needs an advocate to make sure her needs are met. Maybe just look in on her without her knowing it.

It is so - sad - to be old and demented not remembering that someone visits - feeling all alone and unloved.

Bless you for the care you have given her.
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She knows you on the phone, so continue phone calls. If she says something is broken, tell her you'll get someone to fix it - don't argue that it's not broke. If she thinks her money is gone, so be it. If she goes further, tell her that after she ran out you paid for what she needed, or when she got to be xx years old she didn't have to pay. Just go with it. I would still stop by from time to time - get a white board and put the day/date on there and a note to her saying 'enjoyed the visit' or something. Or get a big calendar and have visitors write their name on it when they come by. Might help, might not.
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my2cents Jun 2021
Also, when you go see her - ask her - well, hello - been a long time, do you remember me? Just see if she has you confused with someone else, maybe your mom. Often you look familiar as someone from many years ago. If she has no idea - just go with, I used to live near your house and someone told me you were here, thought I'd drop by. Then the real you that she can't remember in person won't be so frustrating to her.

Your voice is familiar and associates to you in her brain. Her mind may remember you as a kid at this point, but this older lady comes in claiming to be you. Very confusing
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I hope you're not her POA, if things are going this way. If you are just a niece, then you don't have responsibility for her, and visits should just be enjoyable. It's never good to try to be what you think someone else wants you to be. Be yourself! Know your own boundaries. Help her if you can do so without feeling that you are being hurt by the relationship.
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I agree with my2cents. You have done your part as a niece. Be yourself and visit when you can.
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