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would be quality care. It is far from it. It is a private memory care facility. They do no activities. After each meal they are moved into a front room or a back room. The back room is used for the louder residents. It’s small, very low lighting and stinks. They are placed in recliners until the next meal. They are offered “hydration” at 11:00 am 2:00 pm and 8:00pm. A staff member said “if they are awake”. The director said they are supposed to wake them. My mother complains they do nothing, don’t get offered water and don’t have opportunities to go to the bathroom. Their bedroom doors have codes that most residents cannot open on their own. They usually can’t find their room anyway. The night staff ratio is cut way back and it appears very inadequate staff. Around 7:30 pm every night they place all 40 residents in the front room shoulder to shoulder. You cannot move through the room because it is literally shoulder to shoulder. The recliners are filled and the remaining residents are in chairs or wheelchairs. I believe they do this to clean the back room. Why do they not clean it after residents have gone to bed?my question, is this typical or are my parents in a low quality memory care facility?

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Another amenity is raised garden beds so the residents can grow flowers, tomatoes, or whatever. Dogs that visit so the residents can pet them. Do the carers give manicures to the ladies? Take them for walks within their enclosed area? Have birthday parties for each one? Have visiting musicians? Celebrate holidays with a special meal? If it's private pay, it could be a private owner group home of good quality and maybe 22 or less residents with owners who go around and talk to the residents every day. Can their family visitors visit at any time? There are many of these near where I live, and my 55+ community provides the supply of people as they age. You need to look in the right places, and Dallas-Ft. Worth area has them.
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Reply to Fawnby
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You say 'we' in that you were not alone in placing your parents in what sounds like an extremely poor quality and downright nasty memory care facility.

You are naming everything that's wrong with the place here, yet not you or the "we" you refer to actually visited the place and checked it out before putting your parents in there?

Don't blame whatever "agency" told you the place was good. They're in business to make money and I'd bet my last dollar the memory care your parents got dumped in that no one checked out, greased the wheels of whatever agency you got the referral from.

Let me ask you something. If you were buying a car, would you make that big purchase without test driving the car or even seeing it because some agency tells you it's a good car? Would you drop your children off at a daycare center that you never set a foot in or met any of the staff because some agency says it's a good place.

My guess is you'd say 'NO' to doing both. Yet you dumped your parents in a memory care that you nor anyone else in your family bothered to even go and see.

Now, I never had a great relationship with either of my parents and I grew up in an abusive home. Even I wouldn't put my parents in a place I didn't at least look at first, and that's saying something.

Get your parents out of there. You and the "we" you mention need to go and find them a decent facility that YOU check out personally as in, going there in person.

SMH...
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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When you look for a new memory care, be sure to visit before making a decision--preferably at different times of day and sometimes unannounced.
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Reply to Igloocar
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I don't have experience with MC's but it sounds low quality (more like a warehouse) to me. It was probably a herculean task to get to this point, I'm so sorry. So I understand the question, if every one in the area is the same why go thru that again.

Is there a local forum you could join online to ask questions of and get real testimonials from families who have loved ones in other facilities?
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Reply to casole
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MACinCT Aug 16, 2024
I have seen this kind of place. I did my own footwork even with professional reccomendations. It only takes a visit to 2 or 3 places. To "feel the vibe" and look for resident engagement activities.
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We can't really know the answer to this for your area. You are stuck with looking at all available choices.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Looks like you are in the Dallas / Ft Worth area? look around - there probably are multiple other Memory Care locations to look into
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Reply to strugglinson
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Your parents are in a low quality memory care AL. The only good thing is they have locked doors to their rooms which is very important to prevent others from "borrowing" things. Call the agency you used and complain. Then set out finding your folks a new MC that you've deemed to be of quality yourself, is light and bright, has an activity director on staff, a garden or outside area for them to sit in, and locked suite doors for privacy and safety reasons. Ask to see the monthly activity calendar and see what trips they have scheduled too. My mother's MC had a mini bus that took the residents on scenic trips to the mountains to view the foliage and things of that nature. They even had a few picnics.

Best of luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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