Follow
Share

She is 88 years old and has dementia, but she can still have conversation. I'm not allowed to see my mom because, according to my sister:


Everytime I come to see her im always asking for money and that's stressful to my sister. My mom said that she didn't want me to come in to see her anymore, but my sister never gives my mom a chance to talk cuz she thinks she can't make her own decisions. She still has her wits about her. Is there anyone that could direct me to solve this problem I feel as though I can't see my mom whenever I need to talk or just sit with her.

Find Care & Housing
You're best off trying to discuss this matter with your sister, since she's the one who's not letting you see your mom. If you're truly asking the woman for money every time you see her, or otherwise stressing her out, this is why you're not being allowed to see her. When dementia is present, the elder has to be protected from certain behaviors otherwise they can get quite agitated and hard to manage. If you don't see your mother often, you really have no idea if she 'has her wits about her' or if she doesn't. Your sister is her caregiver and the one who knows how she's REALLY doing. And that means you have to respect your sister's wishes about if and when you can see your mother. Having dementia, she's not capable of listening to your need to talk to her anymore...........those days are gone. You have to look at it as what can YOU do for HER, not the other way around. Perhaps if you can convey that attitude to your sister, maybe then she will allow you to come by and see mom.

Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

ADolla, please note that when it comes to dementia, your Mom may be doing what is called "showtiming" which makes you think she has her wits about her. But when you leave, your Mom becomes exhausted and your Sister, or Staff if Mom is in a senior facility, have a difficult time controlling her.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to freqflyer
Report

"Cuz ever time i come to see her im always asking for money"

Is this true?
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Beatty
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter