I Live in Boston and Have Lived with My Father for 11 years . I Ran His Business and property management . I cared for My Mother for a year till she Passed January 2017 and then my brother who Passed October 2017 . I had to renovate 2 properties and got a tenant who Killed himself . My Dad started to decline July 2016 when my Mom fell and then My brother was sick for a year and Lived with us and he Passed . My sister Had Nothing to do with Us for years . She told Me " She Only Cared for herself and had no Bond with My Father But wanted her Inheritance Money . She would not help me with My Mother and she told Me " To snuff my brother out with a Pillow . " She arrived Unannounced and grabbed My Father to California September 2022 . She would Not Pick up her phone 4 months . I Hired a Lawyer , Did One wellness check and Talked with APS . Everyone says " he is fine " I spoke with him briefly January 20 for 30 seconds ( The TV was Blasting ) he said " he wanted to come home . My sister said " I am Keeping him till March 1 . " I spoke with him for a couple Minutes February 16 - he said " I want to Come as in tomorrow . " My sister promised she would return him March 1 . Well Now she says " She wants to keep him another Month because she is Busy . " I am feeling Very abused Because I feel she Has No intention of letting him Go Home . I Got a Letter he was discharged from the Hospital January 28 , Scripps in Encinitas . I have No idea why he was in the Hospital ? She says " he Belongs In assisted Living . " My Dad and I discussed he would live in His home and we would hire caregivers . Can any One give me advice - I was His POA and Healthcare proxy and she switched everything Once she got him to California . She has her Name On all His accounts . I had a Lawyer Block her for awhile . APS said " This was domestic " But as Far as I am concerned it is elder abuse . Can any One give me advice before he dies out there in California and Is Not returned home . My Sister has Violently attacked me a couple times . I am afraid Of her . He is in the Mid stages of vascular dementia and Alzheimers . She claims he has spinal stenosis and needs a Operation . I said " NO " His primary care in Boston said " NO " I am dealing with a sociopath .
I don’t know what else you could try. You have sought the advice of an attorney.
I wish you well. I hope this story will have a happy ending. Please keep us updated.
At this point all you can do is let this go. Who is Executor of Dads Will? Sis can't have a new one made if you can show a formal diagnosis of Dementia. So if Sister had Dad appt her with a new Will you can contest and hold up Probate. You can then show proof of a new Will and ask for an accting of how Dads money was spent. I really don't think at this stage you can do anything but hope she brings him home.
Speak with the attorney about the advisability of a fight for guardianship. I am afraid they will tell you that A) there is little chance you can win under present circumstances B) the court may remove guardianship from you BOTH, and C) it will cost a minimum of 10,000 in the case of an actual fight if that is even possible from states away.
The sad truth is that this may be an instance when you can do nothing. Your Sister may be correct that placement is now the best option for your father. There his funds will go to his safe care by others.
I wish you well, and hope others have some better answers for you. I am so sorry.