Her dogs are her "kids" as she never married or had children. When she is taken out of her home to the new place, the dogs will be taken to be rehomed. Any advice?
Was any effort made to try and find your sister an ALF that would allow her the dogs? perhaps the person who will care for the dogs will take them to visit. This is a terrible loss for your sister. I realize she must need the care and the move. It does not negate the pain it will cost her.
Most ALF allow a pet. Has no thought been given to this? If you have someone with dementia so severe that you are hiding all of this from her and then transporting her suddenly without her pets, then ALF is not a correct placement. Someone that far gone would need MC. And to be honest, the shock of the loss of these pets, if they are not rehomed with family, could well kill her. Just my opinion as someone who has had pets all my life, and at 81 am still Fostering pets.
At my MILs first facility, the AL allowed 1 dog and the resident had to be able to fully care for it and keep it under control. I wish the OP would tell us why their Mom is going into facility care...
The resident has to be able to care for their animals. Thisvis not the staffs responsibility. I can see allowing one dog but not 2. And it may depend on how big the dog is. Dogs should not be shut in one room all day. Not even a cat. Letting them roam the facility is not good either.
This week I visited an assisted living facility. It was wonderful to see the residents going in and out with their dogs, taking them for walks on the grounds. The person at the front desk kept treats on hand, and you should have seen the wagging of tails when the dogs walked in the door and ran over to her for their treats!
My mother's assisted living had many resident pets. They were fun for all the residents. I saw notices on the bulletin board put up by outside people who came and walked the dogs for them, so I'm assuming that some of the residents weren't up to walking the dogs themselves, but the hired walkers could help.
Don't ever think you can't take pets to an AL! Many of them welcome them.
Does she have memory impairment? It will be easier to tell her a therapeutic "fib" in this case: the dogs are going to the groomers, or the vet for check-ups, etc. Anything you think she will accept.
This is a pretty drastic and sudden change for her. Does the facility have any events, like comfort pets that come visit? My MIL's facility has people that bring in specially trained dogs. At Easter my son (who raises show rabbits) brought a very docile bunny and MIL absolutely loved holding and petting it.
HI Yellowfellow - I'll just add something to the message that I just left. You want advice on how to "navigate this" - you stated that your sister's dogs are her "kids"- and that she's "unaware" of the plans you made for her move to assisted living. That's a lot. Without knowing more, if you want to make this easier for her, below are my suggestions:
- Communicate with your sister in advance - get her comfortable with this transition - involve her in the process - take a visit with her to the assisted living facility in advance - the way you've arranged this behind her back will be jolting to her. It was jolting for me to read it. She's only 54. - Her dogs are her "kids" - those feelings need to be respected and taken seriously. She should either go to an assisted living that accepts dogs or she should be able to still be in their lives. I think this needs to be handled very delicately.
perhaps the person who will care for the dogs will take them to visit. This is a terrible loss for your sister. I realize she must need the care and the move. It does not negate the pain it will cost her.
Has no thought been given to this?
If you have someone with dementia so severe that you are hiding all of this from her and then transporting her suddenly without her pets, then ALF is not a correct placement. Someone that far gone would need MC.
And to be honest, the shock of the loss of these pets, if they are not rehomed with family, could well kill her.
Just my opinion as someone who has had pets all my life, and at 81 am still Fostering pets.
My mother's assisted living had many resident pets. They were fun for all the residents. I saw notices on the bulletin board put up by outside people who came and walked the dogs for them, so I'm assuming that some of the residents weren't up to walking the dogs themselves, but the hired walkers could help.
Don't ever think you can't take pets to an AL! Many of them welcome them.
This is a pretty drastic and sudden change for her. Does the facility have any events, like comfort pets that come visit? My MIL's facility has people that bring in specially trained dogs. At Easter my son (who raises show rabbits) brought a very docile bunny and MIL absolutely loved holding and petting it.
She's losing a lot, being placed against her knowledge--and I'm imagine the move will be hard on her,
Having a beloved pet to ease the shock may be just what the dr ordered.
- Communicate with your sister in advance - get her comfortable with this transition - involve her in the process - take a visit with her to the assisted living facility in advance - the way you've arranged this behind her back will be jolting to her. It was jolting for me to read it. She's only 54.
- Her dogs are her "kids" - those feelings need to be respected and taken seriously. She should either go to an assisted living that accepts dogs or she should be able to still be in their lives. I think this needs to be handled very delicately.