jnwilms: Perhaps he needs to see his neurologist to see if his Parkinson's has an added ailment of dementia. His specialist should be made aware of this if perchance that is the issue.
My husband has recently enrolled in a program called Rock Stead Boxing which is designed for Parkinson’s patient. It is nation wide and has made an unbelievable difference for us. It is non contact boxing for strength balance training. Was recommended to us by our geriatrician.
My mom had Parkinson’s disease and developed dementia later. Mom wasn’t an angry person before or after her Parkinson’s diagnosis.
Parkinson’s disease is really stressful for a person to live with. Add dementia to the equation and it is even more difficult. They can also suffer with depression.
Every human being has become angry in their lives. We’ve all had valid reasons to be upset about one thing or another.
I certainly understand that it is completely normal for you to become frustrated with this situation. It is challenging to care for our loved ones.
Have you spoken to your dad’s neurologist about his behavior? He may prescribe medication to help with his agitation.
My mom was on Sinemet for her Parkinson’s disease. Parkinson’s patients aren’t always able to sleep well. Sinemet can cause vivid dreams. This alone could cause him to get cranky.
My mother’s doctor prescribed Ativan and Seroquel. These drugs helped her cope with her situation.
I recommend having a thorough evaluation and discussion with his neurologist.
Is there anyone who might not occasionally become easily angered? Is this new or extreme or violent? How did you deal with him before his Parkinson's diagnosis? What's new or concerning here?
jnwilms, welcome to the forum. Sometimes we need to step into the shoes of one who has a serious illness to understand how they are feeling.
Your step-Dad is upset with himself, as this isn't the type of retirement he had planned. So, of course, he will get upset. How to deal with these outbursts, just agree with him as he wants someone else to understand what he is going through.
Well said, and simplified answer, however, you cannot always agree with someone that is incapable of realizing that you are trying to help and they are making bad decisions for themselves. Always simply agreeing and going with the flow doesn’t do him any favors either in the long term.
Your stepfather may be suffering from Parkinson's related dementia, and thus the angry outbursts. You don't say anything about what your living circumstances are, whether you live with him or what? Leave the room when he's angry and acting out, if it's safe to do so. Don't engage with him and give him more fuel for the fire.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet which has the best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Here is a list of useful tips from her e-book I found to be excellent:
The “Dont's” · Do not reason and argue · Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve · Do not demand that they remember · Do not demand that they get their facts straight · Do not correct their ideas or scold them · Do not reorient them · Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose · Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to · Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care · Do not act with impatience
The Do's · Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world' · Be aware of their mood or state of mind · Use few words and simple phrases · OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions · Do everything slowly · Approach from the front · Wait for a slow response · Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK' · Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment · Maximize use of remaining abilities · Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real · Maintain privacy · Provide a safe physical environment
Language Needs · Use short words · Use clear and simple sentences · Speak slowly and calmly · Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer · Talk about one thing at a time · Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas · Use common phrases · Always say what you are doing · If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information · Wait patiently for a response · Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words · Speak softly, soothingly and gently
Care Needs · Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive · Reassure with your tone and manner · Do one thing at a time · Talk through the care “play-by- play” · Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate relaxation and reassurance · Be sincere · Use a soft, soothing touch · Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers · Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge whether a situation is threatening to them · They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending themselves with what we call “aggression” · If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the dementia because the person with the disease cannot.
Parkinson’s disease is really stressful for a person to live with. Add dementia to the equation and it is even more difficult. They can also suffer with depression.
Every human being has become angry in their lives. We’ve all had valid reasons to be upset about one thing or another.
I certainly understand that it is completely normal for you to become frustrated with this situation. It is challenging to care for our loved ones.
Have you spoken to your dad’s neurologist about his behavior? He may prescribe medication to help with his agitation.
My mom was on Sinemet for her Parkinson’s disease. Parkinson’s patients aren’t always able to sleep well. Sinemet can cause vivid dreams. This alone could cause him to get cranky.
My mother’s doctor prescribed Ativan and Seroquel. These drugs helped her cope with her situation.
I recommend having a thorough evaluation and discussion with his neurologist.
Your step-Dad is upset with himself, as this isn't the type of retirement he had planned. So, of course, he will get upset. How to deal with these outbursts, just agree with him as he wants someone else to understand what he is going through.
I suggest you read this 33 page booklet which has the best information ever about managing dementia and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with dementia. The reviews for her books are phenomenal b/c they are written in plain English & very easy to read/understand. Her writings have been VERY helpful for me.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
Here is a list of useful tips from her e-book I found to be excellent:
The “Dont's”
· Do not reason and argue
· Do not demand that they reason or problem-solve
· Do not demand that they remember
· Do not demand that they get their facts straight
· Do not correct their ideas or scold them
· Do not reorient them
· Do not think that they are being uncooperative on purpose
· Do not think that they really do remember, but are pretending not to
· Do not use a “bossy” dictatorial attitude in care
· Do not act with impatience
The Do's
· Enter into their frame of reality, or their 'world'
· Be aware of their mood or state of mind
· Use few words and simple phrases
· OR use no words, just friendly gestures and simple motions
· Do everything slowly
· Approach from the front
· Wait for a slow response
· Constantly reassure them that everything is 'OK'
· Keep people with dementia comfortable 'in the moment' - every moment
· Maximize use of remaining abilities
· Limit TV or radio programs which they may feel are frighteningly real
· Maintain privacy
· Provide a safe physical environment
Language Needs
· Use short words
· Use clear and simple sentences
· Speak slowly and calmly
· Questions should ask for a “yes” or “no” answer
· Talk about one thing at a time
· Talk about concrete things; not abstract ideas
· Use common phrases
· Always say what you are doing
· If they repeat their question, repeat your answer as you did the first time · Give them a longer time to process information
· Wait patiently for a response
· Be accepting of inappropriate answers and nonsense words
· Speak softly, soothingly and gently
Care Needs
· Recognize that receiving personal care feels intrusive
· Reassure with your tone and manner
· Do one thing at a time
· Talk through the care “play-by- play”
· Be aware of your body language and use it to communicate relaxation and reassurance
· Be sincere
· Use a soft, soothing touch
· Be aware of the individual’s unique triggers
· Be aware that a person with dementia may not accurately judge whether a situation is threatening to them
· They may respond to fear, pain or anxiety by defending themselves with what we call “aggression”
· If they become distressed, stop immediately and allow them time to calm down – don’t try to restart the activity right away
You need to change your behaviour to adapt to the dementia because the person with the disease cannot.
Best of luck!