When I placed my wife in the unit, I asked them should I stay away for a while. They said no and they encouraged to visit often. My wife wants to know why we have “other people in our home”. The two times in the last week that they have called I have been there an average of about 4 hours each time. The aggressive behavior is very recent but seems to be increasing. She is not aggressive with me. She is getting a very bad reputation with the aides.
Lynn - we are accessing more respite care now, a wonderful inter-generational center Monday - Friday, and starting next weekend bringing in an in-home care giver for one weekend night.
For our situation, the stress of Mom being at home turned out to be less then the stress of Mom being some place that was ill-equipped to keep her engaged and content. It still ain't ideal, but we made the right move... for now!
Please come back often and keep us posted on how it’s working out. Best of luck!
My Mom went through 2 horrific rehab experiences at nursing homes because the aides and staff aren't sufficiently trained. Even if they were, they have no time to give the proper attention to a patient with dementia. Everything has to slow down. And be quieter. And simpler. And respectful in tone of voice. Gentle touch, saying please, thank you, I'm sorry, and coaxing are all impertive.
Your wife is confused and scared. Behavior is a reponse to something. If you can figure out the something, you can make it better. It can be noise, tone of voice, touch, light, etc. Also, please know that this is a phase and she will eventual become calmer. But it's rough one.
I wish I'd known more about how to interact with Mom when she was going through this. We would have done better. An endless well of patience and empathy coupled with respect will help her and her care givers get through it . She cannot help her responses - but she can be reached and soothed and have a better experience.