My wife's confusion!

Bob, your profile tells us that you are only 53. Your wife is 73 with early Alzheimer's dementia.
She has progressed now to a severity that, imho as a retired RN, requires placement.
I don't know how long you have cared for her inhome but I would bet, given you have found this forum, that you have educated yourself somewhat on what her dementia means, and that you know that when they cannot recognize you they are very far progressed.

At your young age I feel that you have a right to have some kind of a life, and with Alzheimer's this severe you will not have.
Please consider placement for your dear wife. This will allow you to move back to being her husband who loves and visits her, not her caregiver who feels completely inadequate to the task of constant 24/7 care.

I very much wish you the best and I am so very sorry, but your wife is no longer the woman you married. You are left with finding the best way to live with that, for it cannot be changed, will not get better and will get a good deal worse.

You are correct about her remembering a younger Bob. Show her a picture of a younger you andvsee how she responds. I am sure my Mom thought I was her mother. Which was nice, because her mother was a pretty woman, and I never thought myself as pretty.

I just want to say again thank you all for the advice. I have used a great many of the suggestions that were offered here.
My wife is now taking 50mg Seroquel. This has helped to a good extent, she still has her moments but they are much milder as of now. Who knows what the future holds. I had to ask for medication for her after I had to chase her around the yard while she was looking for her mother. Since starting the medication there has been no repeat of the yard chase or anything like it.
So we will see...

Thank You all for the well wishes and the advice.
I will take all of this to heart and see where this leads me.
Again Thank You all!!

There were times when going through a store my Husband would say "I'm looking for my wife" and I would say "well, can I walk with you until we find her?"
And I would leave the cart (if there were no frozen items) and we would walk towards the exit, once he got outside and saw the car he "knew" the car and would get in.

Rather than saying "I'm Bob" say something like "Why don't you tell me about Bob until he comes back. I'm sure he won't be gone long"
You might find out some things about you ;)

And when she says she wants to "go home" rather than trying to convince her she is home reassure her that she is safe.
"HOME" is sometimes not a PLACE but it is a time, it is a feeling of safety, of happiness, memories.

Sounds like your wife has capgrass syndrome, which you can "Google" to get more info on, but what you're describing is so very common with someone with capgrass.
We currently have 3 different folks in my local caregiver support group whose spouses have capgrass, and it's very difficult to deal with for sure.
I hope you have access to a local caregiver support group for folks caring for a loved one with dementia, as you will get a lot of support and also learn more than you ever wanted to about the horrible disease of dementia.
Wishing you well as you take this very difficult journey with your wife.

The best things you can do are:
- get her legal ducks in row (does she have a PoA? If not this needs to happen and if it's you she needs a younger generation alternate iv youre close to her age).
- get an accurate diagnosis (some illnessness have symptoms that look like dementia, such as a UTI, thyroid medication wrong dosage, stroke, diabetes, etc. Many of which are treatable. There is no 1 test for dementia, really, and there are many different types of dementia with different prognoses.
- if she does have dementia, educate yourself so you can learn engagement and coping strategies for more productive and peaceful interactions. My Aunt had diagnoses dementia for 12+ years until she passed.

Dementia constantly changes the person, this is why you need to expect to keep adjusting to it and learning new things. This is what makes this forum so valuable.

Of course you're at your wits end - you are living this 24/7. I'm not sure there is much to be done that will make your situation better because your wife is pretty advanced. Her brain is broken. Her short-term memory is shot.

Your wife is only 73, which I point out only to suggest that she could live many more years. What happens to her if something happens to you?

And just as important, Bob, what are you doing to keep yourself active, healthy, and sane?

Pick up a copy of the book Understanding the Dementia Experience by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller on Amazon so you can learn about dementia and how to deal with your wife and her confusion. She's regressed in time to when you were both young and is looking for the Bob of 30, 40 or 50 years ago, most likely. Here is a link to a good article on the very subject:

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/stages-behaviors/memory-loss-confusion

Also call her doctor for calming meds which can help a lot. Ativan worked well for my mother.

5 things to remember when someone with dementia is asking to go home

1. Avoid arguing about whether they are already ‘home'
For a person with dementia, the term 'home' may describe something more than the place they currently live. Often when a person with dementia asks to go home it refers to the sense of ’home’ rather than home itself. 

‘Home’ may represent memories of a time or place that was comfortable and secure and where they felt relaxed and happier. It could also be an indefinable place that may not physically exist. 

It’s usually best not to try to reason or disagree with the person about where their home is.
If they don't recognise their environment as 'home' at that moment, then for that moment, it isn't home.
Advice
What not to say to somebody with dementia
Try to understand and acknowledge the feelings behind the wish to go home. Find out where 'home' is for them - it might not be the last place they lived. It could be where they lived before moving recently or it could be somewhere from their distant past. 

Often people with dementia describe 'home' as a pleasant, peaceful or idyllic place where they were happy. They could be encouraged to talk about why they were happy there. This can give an idea as to what they might need to feel better.

2. Reassure them of their safety
The desire to go home is probably the same desire anyone would have if we found ourselves in an unfamiliar place. 
Reassure the person verbally, and possibly with arm touches or handholding if this feels appropriate. Let the person know that they are safe. 

It may help to provide reassurance that the person is still cared about. They may be living somewhere different from where they lived before, and need to know they’re cared for.

3. Try diverting the conversation
Keep a photograph album handy. This could be a physical book or photos on a tablet or smartphone. Sometimes looking at pictures from the past and being given the chance to reminisce will ease the person’s feelings of anxiety. 

It might be best to avoid asking questions about the pictures or the past, instead trying to make comments: 'That looks like Uncle Fred. Granny told me about the time he....' 
Alternatively, you could try shifting the person's focus from home to something else - such as food, music, or other activities, such as going for a walk. 

4. Establish whether or not they are feeling unhappy or lonely
A person with dementia may want to 'go home' because of feelings of anxiety, insecurity, depression or fear.

5. Keep a log of when they are asking to go home
Certain times of the day might be worse than others. What seems to be the common denominator about these times? Is it near meal times (and would a snack perhaps help)? Is it during times when the environment is noisier than usual? Is it later in the day and possibly due to ‘sundowning’?
If you see a pattern, you can take steps to lessen or avoid some of the triggers.

Best of luck.

So sorry Bob, that's gotta be so painful for you, just remember it's the disease, it's not who she is.
Just change the subject, don't tell her you are Bob. Just love her, and if the day comes where you can't do it anymore, don't feel bad for putting her into care or getting in home caregiving service. When she says she wants to go home, don't tell her you are home, just say maybe later, or change the subject.

I believe that the heart never forgets, when your with your wife and she doesn't know who you are , there is still a comfort there for her, compared to if you where a stranger sitting with her. So I'm sure you still give her comfort just being there

There are no answers, Bob. Her brain has a whole and complete world she is in; it just isn't the same as OUR world. There is no arguing with dementia, no explaining to dementia, no cure for dementia, no relief from dementia.

I am so sorry. There's simply nothing to be done about this.
I have heard that some doctors are using a low dose anti-depressant and it is working for some patients to make them a bit more mellow and on a more even keel. There is also now the use of medical cannibis believe it or not, and a friend whose mother is in Austin in a wonderful care facility that she no longer was in any way verbal, nor did she know her family at all, is in a much better state with this.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Eventually you may need to consider placement that this doesn't become the whole and all of your life. My best to you.

What if you tell her that Bob is at the grocery and he is running errands and will be back in an hour?