Only my SIL has anything to do with my MIL. MIL has pushed EVERYBODY else out of the picture. I have not seen nor spoken to her for over a year.
You can't force a relationship. My DH was kicked to the curb a few months ago and it really devastated him. Not that he misses his mom, he doesn't, he just feels awful about the things she said to him. I don't care how old you are, or how angry you are at someone, there are some things that simply do NOT need to be said.
One of those is "I wish I'd had an abortion, rather than have you." "You completed ruined my life. I've never had a happy day in my life".
She's 90--and not demented enough to make that an excuse. She's just mean as a snake and doesn't care about anyone but herself. So there she sits, all alone in her house, creeping around hanging on chairs and the wall as she navigates her way around. (Won't use a walker, those are for OLD PEOPLE)..so we sit and wait for the next fall.
She does not have friends, hates all her neighbors and expects SIL to be there daily to take care of her. SIL obliges.
You're probably finding that mom doesn't want to have anyone in her life. You can't solve this problem, don't even try.
Dealing with narcissistic elderly parents is a huge topic on this site.
Your descriptions are so horribly vivid. I just wonder what her childhood was like. I am so sorry your husband had to hear such a statement. Obviously he should know that there is no truth to such a remark. It is amazing any family member can continue to deal with her.
Without really knowing what is going on, or for how long, I am guessing that the rest of the family are wise to move away from Narcissistic people. There is never any pleasing them, and they are ruinous to the lives of others, whether you share blood with them or not.
What part of your post do you want advice for: that your M & F pushed everyone away? That you are stuck as the only communicator (and therefore the go-between)? Or are you looking for thoughts on how to reconnect the family? Please clarify your question, thanks.
You can't force a relationship. My DH was kicked to the curb a few months ago and it really devastated him. Not that he misses his mom, he doesn't, he just feels awful about the things she said to him. I don't care how old you are, or how angry you are at someone, there are some things that simply do NOT need to be said.
One of those is "I wish I'd had an abortion, rather than have you." "You completed ruined my life. I've never had a happy day in my life".
She's 90--and not demented enough to make that an excuse. She's just mean as a snake and doesn't care about anyone but herself. So there she sits, all alone in her house, creeping around hanging on chairs and the wall as she navigates her way around. (Won't use a walker, those are for OLD PEOPLE)..so we sit and wait for the next fall.
She does not have friends, hates all her neighbors and expects SIL to be there daily to take care of her. SIL obliges.
You're probably finding that mom doesn't want to have anyone in her life. You can't solve this problem, don't even try.
Dealing with narcissistic elderly parents is a huge topic on this site.