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Hi everyone,


I first want to thank this forum and those who are running this site for creating a space for those of us who are caregivers and understand how rewarding, as well as, extremely difficulty it can be. I've gotten some great advice and helpful information just by reading through the forum. Thank you all...!


I've been caregiving for mom for many years with no help from siblings, etc. Because of her deteriorating health, on top of my own health issues I needed to finally address - I had to make the difficult decision to place her in a nursing home. The nursing home is actually a good facility, with a caring staff, and thankfully, it's only a 10 minute walk from me. I am working from home these days, so I can stop by at least a couple of times a week as well as the weekends. The issue is, mom is very picky about what she eats (she only really eats spanish type foods), but at the same time, she has severe gastritis and acid reflux. We had a meeting with the dietitian, and even the chef came up to see us to chat about her dietary restrictions etc. It's actually pretty simple - low salt, and simple foods with no sauces, creams or gravies on it. I've gone over this with them a few times. But she keeps getting foods that she turns away because for example, the kitchen will add a creamy sauce on the mash potatoes. I totally understand she is pretty finicky, and I tried to convince her to at least try it that way - but at the same time, these sauces make her acid come up sometimes. I've called her social worker, the dining room supervisor, and even the activity director - who ran a resident meeting to let her know this was an issue. Come to find out, many of the other residents have had the same issues with the food. Also found out, the kitchen staff is a new company (only been there for about 2 months). The issue is still happening, and it seems I have to constantly have this conversation with the staff about this. I'm not sure how hard it is, not to add sauces to let's say chicken or meatloaf. Also, my mom speaks limited English so it's difficult for her to convey the problem. Like I said, the nurses and the staff are helpful in many other ways - and oh, very important, I also found out, there's limited staff because once the nursing home opened back up, many did not come back to work. I'm just wondering, is there any other way I can address this with the staff to get something done? Do I continue to push - should I maybe reach out to the administrator?


Thank you everyone!
Letty



P.S. I sometimes if I can, cook her favorite meals and bring them to her. But I cannot do this all the time...

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When my mom was in a SNF, they brought menus around to be filled out. I resorted to writing in giant Magic Marker letters whatever information I had to convey about her meal prep ( as she was paralyzed on the right side, she could open containers or cut up her food). So I would write
OPEN ALL CONTAINERS, UNWRAP ALL FOOD ITEMS, BUTTER BREAD. ROLLS, TOAST. UNWRAP UTENSILS AND STRAWS. CUT FOOD INTO BITE SIZE PIECES.
After the third time I spoke forcefully to the administrator, showing the clear, concise instructions that were not being followed, I spoke to the head dietician and the Director of Nursing. Told them the next tray that came in that didn't follow the instructions was going to end up on the local news. The situation was resolved.
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Those serving meals have no idea of the diets of the residents. The one who needs to be talked to is the person in charge of the kitchen. If on a special diet, there should be something in the kitchen that tells the kitchen staff the residents food limitations. This is the Nutritionists job to make sure the diets are followed. I can see where a 100 meals are being made and a staff member gets carried away with the gravy. But it needs to brought to someone in the kitchens attention so the staff member is told about the error. It could be a personal dislike, it should be noted somewhere.
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Leearr1 Aug 2021
Thank you! Yes, I've personally spoke to the dietitian and also mentioned it to mom's primary doctor. It makes sense that the miscommunication is ultimately coming from the kitchen. When the chef came up to see mom a few weeks ago, the foods starting coming correctly for the first few days - then it went right back to the same issue. He told me there was an inbox on each floor which he had that I can add her menu to. But when I asked about that at the nursing station - they had no idea what I was talking about. All so strange. I was told that the previous dietitian just recently retired and he was very involve with the residents, but the new dietitian - well, she is barely visible. Thanks again for the suggestion. I will keep everyone posted on how this goes!
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As an added help you can put a large sign over her bed, or on her door (some place where the staff will see it) that reads: "Restricted diet! Low salt food only; No sauces, creams or gravies -- please!" etc. or however you need to word it. This doesn't replace speaking to the admin, staff dietician and kitchen staff. Hope you have success getting her needs met!
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Grandma1954 Aug 2021
A sign over the bed might help only if staff gives that information to the people serving meals if she is eating in a dining room.
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Absolutely talk to the administrator. Not following basic dietary requirements is inexcusable and needs to be brought to the attention of the person who oversees the kitchen staff. That's the administrator's job.

My mother's first nursing home gave her a bowl of salty soup with every lunch in spite of her being on a low-salt diet and repeated polite requests to pay attention to the prescribed diet. She swelled up like a balloon. I went straight to the administrator, and she never had the wrong food delivered again.
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Leearr1 Aug 2021
Yes this is definitely my next step. I was able to obtain the administrators number and email address. I'm giving it one more week - her floor kitchen person has been going over the menus with her every week which is great, and I don't think it's her fault - but the wrong stuff keeps coming through, and my mom has to send the full plate away. So frustrating! Thank you for the response and suggestion!
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If you are 10 minute walk I suggest you pop in a few times during meals.
If lunch arrives with a sauce, send it back. If dinner arrives with a sauce send it back.
I realize that serving a LOT of people in a very short period of time can get crazy particularly when every one wants to eat at the same time. (figure in many facilities this is the time that they socialize and I bet there are people sitting down or at least waiting to be allowed to sit for an hour before dinner. )

And yes continue to push adhering to a particular diet is important. Low salt, low fat, low sugar this is what is common, normal and to be expected in a Skilled Nursing facility, Assisted Living, Memory Care. Even schools have to provide appropriate choices for kids that can not eat the primary scheduled lunch.
If they continue to deliver meals that might compromise her health you could contact the State Ombudsman and see if this is something that they would follow up on.
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Leearr1 Aug 2021
Got it - thank you so much for these suggestions. I've gone a few times and did send back some foods she received that sauces and creams. It's so frustrating when I feel like this is such a simple request. Thank you!
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