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My mother is 93 years old her brain is still there. She would need help with the feeding and showering and making sure she doesn’t fall down. She had a stroke. She should be able to get a nurse and home health aide also in the home.

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You say she has had a stroke. Do you know the specific details of the stroke? What exactly are you saying, “Brain is still there”? How high functioning? My father was never the same after a stroke.

Your mom is in rehab now? For how long? That’s a lot of care. My mom just returned home from rehab. They do a lot of work in rehab. What care is she receiving there? Occupational therapy and physical therapy? Is she doing speech therapy too? My dad struggled with speech after his stroke.

If she has communication issues you have to be very careful with who you hire for her. Even after my dad did his stint in rehab he still had lots of outpatient therapy, especially speech. It was three times a week for quite awhile and honestly, he was never the same man after his stroke.

You can’t just offer free rent. People will want a salary.

What about time off? No one person can care for someone 24/7 365 without having a backup caregiver as well, an agency, someone else has to be available.

As as far as home health goes, my mom is doing home health right now. Home health is good but they are not available around the clock.

Your nurse is your best friend. If a fall does happen while on home health the nurse will come right out to assess the situation. Any bleeding from the head they go straight to hospital. That’s what the nurse told me.

Not every fall requires a hospital trip though. Mom has had some falls where she had to go and others where she didn’t.

An assessment will determine if assisted living is enough or a nursing home is necessary. Best of luck to you and mom. It’s tough watching them decline.

I have cared for my mom who is 93 in my home since 2005. Ask lots of questions. Try to get as much approved through insurance that you can, walker, tub chair, etc.

Also call Council on Aging in your area for advice and to see if help is available. Keep communication open with the social worker. The social worker has helped me a lot with planning for mom. Ask what is required for her to receive Medicaid if a NH is in her future. Medicare doesn’t cover all expenses. Does your mom have Medicare with a supplement or Medicaid? My mom has Medicare with Humana Gold Plus.

Medicare did pay for mom’s rehab stay in the NH but if she will end up living in a NH she would have to apply for Medicaid. Medicaid has stipulations. You may keep money for burial.

The assisted living facilities in my area do not accept Medicaid or Medicare. It is private pay.

Now, was she or your father a veteran, preferably during war time? Apply for Aid and Attendance for her. Possibly she can collect benefits. I was just told the max is $1209.00 a month. You can use that money towards care.

Also, there are veterans nursing homes for veterans and their spouses. There is one in NJ. My uncle lived to be 96. He was a veteran in WW11. He is buried along with his wife in a veteran cemetery in NJ. I am still in touch with my cousins who live in Brick, NJ. My uncle needed more care than assisted living so he was in a nursing home with hospice at the end. Hospice will go to nursing homes and assisted living as well as your home. Palliative care is a step before hospice.
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You’ll need to provide more than “light pay” for a full time live in caregiver. Free Rent and water isn’t nearly enough to compensate someone. They need to be paid a liveable wage otherwise you are really asking for a slave IMO. Remember, they will have their own bills and expenses to pay. A live in caregiver is very expensive and neither Medicaid or Medicare will pay for one.
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That’s why I was willing to give my home in Lake Wales
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Geaton777 Aug 2019
So your idea is to have your mom come out of rehab and go live in your home in Lake Wales? When will she be coming out of rehab? Honestly, you have a golden opportunity to have her go directly into a good care facility where she will be safe and get the proper post-rehab care and not have to deal with renter problems when she's 93 and compromised by a stroke. She may not want it but the reality of her situation (and yours being far away) makes this the best pathway for her best care now and in the future. I have 2 aunties in FL ages 97 and 100 and I'm in MN trying to oversee their care in their home. They are only there because my cousin lives next door during the winter (along with other of my cousins in same town) and some very caring neighbors live near by). They happen to both be physically healthy but the minute that changes I will easily rethink what is best for them and realistic for those providing the care. They are on the verge of outliving their savings. So you may need to consider applying for Medicaid for your mom. That's a whole other discussion so if you get to that point, come back to this forum and ask those questions.
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She’s in rehab in Kissimmee right now but I don’t know if she qualifies for assisted-living No I don’t live in the state of Florida I live in the state of New Jersey but I go back-and-forth and I know Mom has no money she only gets a little income monthly
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Do you live near your mom? Is she financially well-off? What state is she in? In-home care like you are seeking is very expensive if you use a qualified assistant, especially if you get an actual nurse. I don't think Medicare pays for anything. If you hire an unskilled person (and please have it be a woman for your mom's sake) who is there only for the free rent and utilities, you run the risk of abuse and sub-optimal care for your mom. Due to personal experience I never recommend this second option. It may be time for her (and you) to consider Assisted Living and she may really enjoy the expanded social aspect.
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