I’m the niece of a 91-year-old man who lives alone with his 87-year-old-wife. In the past few weeks, my uncle has shown severe mental status changes and weakness, sleeping all day. He has stopped taking all his medications. He is suddenly very weak and out of breath (just a month ago he was fine—perhaps quite forgetful but not confused like now—and he was able to walk easily). The problem is, my elderly aunt does not want anyone (not even her daughters) to take over her role as a caretaker and decision maker. She has it in her head that he has Alzheimer’s, although he was never tested. He is also fairly deaf. It could be anything. I finally convinced her to call 911 last week, but she said the medics took his vitals (which were normal) and didn’t take him. I don’t know what to do.
It sounds like in order to get care for uncle, Aunt needs to be in care.
Have you or the daughters talked to their doctor?
Sorry you are in such a tough situation and that your aunt wants to self-diagnose her husband. Best of luck!
Perhaps "no treatment, decline and die at home" is what he wants?
Might she agree to have a Hospice provider come and see him? Agree to comfort care?
ERs and hispitals are terrible for elderly folks. Consider asking if she will call his doc to have a visiting nurse come to see him.