Need help trying to figure out how to get dad in the nursing home. Advice?

Answry, I think it just sucks big time that you have to resort to Dr Google instead of actual Doctors.

Now that you mention the COPD - that may be the big player here.

I sincerely hope you get some solid answers & a treatment plan soon 🙏

Beatty, from the photos in Google, you seem to be leading me in a direction where I can continue to research. I would have gotten nowhere with just being asked if he was a dialysis patient. So verified with my sister this morning and she says no to him ever being a dialysis patient. Will have to check with his cardiologist and primary when he goes for his follow-up from the hospital discharge.
 
Dad is a type two diabetic but has not been on insulin since the nursing home. He use to be on a sliding scale along with 1000 mg of Metformin. He is now on Januvia.
 
He does have a lung condition (COPD severe emphysema).

Fingernails are yellow and cracking in the center but the doctor told me a few weeks ago that was probably just a nail fungus happening but now that you've brought it up, I do remember that used to be a possible sign of anemia.
 
So I’ve finally gotten around to looking at his blood work from the hospital and his white blood cell numbers are off. And the ones they used to check for anemia are all saying below low. The hemoglobin is extremely low according to Google at 10.

Dad has been in our home for almost four months now. I probably could deal with dad a while longer pending we get this back under control but I have an assho** husband in my ear saying he wants him out like yesterday. I was hoping to get him back to his home but the asshol** daughter that remains there was for months saying she didn't want him there and he could not come back to his home and she was in such bad health that she could not do the monitor part at night. Now a check has appeared in dad's name so the story has partially changed. Let him cash the check but put him back in a nursing home.

I was hoping to hang on until court took place and let them take over because I'm about exhausted with all these people in my ear. I feel so sorry for dad and ask the man above to not let him suffer long. To me, he suffering in more ways than one.

Not sleeping is a deal-breaker for me because that is when things go wrong mentally and physically wise. But I was hard at work last week trying to let the primary doctor know of this change.

But here is my call, hospital in my town made their money again. At least the one I drove an hour for gave him a med to try to get sleep and it is prn.

Here we are two ER visits. I’m still waiting to hear from the last one but expecting them to discharge as well. If not, I’ll be surprised. The first one said he was medically clear on the CT scan, urine, and blood work although blood pressure was high. They discharge him saying he was suffering from chronic insomnia and wrote a very low dose prescription for Remeron. I was so pleased that maybe he would be able to rest through the night again and I would be able to sleep.

We made it back to our hometown to fill the prescription only to be told by two it would need to be ordered and here by Monday. Disappointed, my daughter and I got back in the truck to head home with dad. He went to explain we need to go to the other side and get his wife. He saw her going in the store (deceased a year last month) and went on a vocal rampage. We got home and he refused to get out of the car and slammed his door back shut saying unless we go back and get her, he would not get out of the car. To keep nosey neighbors from saying they saw a struggle because we would have had to pry him out.  I called 911 and they sent out police at first and then they sent for an ambulance.

So the second hospital, this time in our home town has repeated all the other tests but added on a chest x-ray and some other blood work studies dealing with oxygen and a truckload of other things I can’t remember. Oxygen is all over the place and blood pressure is still high. That’s where we are now.

It’s true that right now, it would be an unsafe discharge. The hospital in our hometown saying right now no social worker available.

I’m also confused because over the course of having him home with us, two different phlebotomists have asked me if dad was ever a dialysis patient because of something they are seeing in his arm making them believe he was. But I’ve never known him to be.

If you think he has a UTI, please take him to the ER. Letting that wait could result in death.

I would be filing complaints with every governing agency against the doctor and home health. Not dealing with a potential UTI is negligence.

Hopefully he does have one, can be admitted for 3 midnights, go to rehab and that's when you pull the trigger for placement. Be sure he is admitted and not just under observation.

Good luck!

Firstly, is Dad in his own home or yours?

What are the top reasons you feel he needs 24 care sooner rather than later?

Is he a danger to himself or others?

I hate to be a downer but unfortunately it took the death of my father to bring things to an end. No one cares if they can't take care of themselves. The law is completely on the side of the elderly even when they aren't able to realistically able to take care of themselves. I hope you find a better ending than I did, just be prepared for the worst.

In New York state my dad required a 3 day hospital stay in order to be discharged to "rehab" (ie; nursing home). We called an ambulance when he was very disoriented one day and in fact he had a UTI. He was admitted and we spoke to the case manager and requested a rehab with long term care and on day 3 he was discharged there. Sending you lots of support vibes and peace. This is so hard.

Call for an ambulance and get him to hospital for a medical evaluation. Talk to social worker/discharge planner there and let them know what needs to happen to keep him safe. Wishing you both peace

If your dad does have a UTI and requires a short hospital stay, is it possible to have him transitioned directly into a NH from there? I'm not that familiar with your backstory w/dad, but can you inform the hospital that he is an "unsafe discharge"? You may need to meet with the hospital's social worker.

Answry, IMHO the sudden change in your father's condition warrants a call to 911 and transport to the ER.

UTIs turn septic and kill with no other symptom than change in mental status. Please get him to the ER.