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We gave my mom a bath while she sits on the portable potty. The potty faces her hospital bed with rails raised. When it’s time to bathe her private areas, we have her stand and hold the bed rail while we wash from behind to front. We do it quickly so she’s comfortable and grateful for the quick job. Also, purchase pre-moisture wipes to wipe her whenever she uses the potty. They come with a soft aloe-Vera smell. But never flush them down the toilet. You can find them at Walmart. Purchase the large wipe size NOT the pocketbook sizes.
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We ended up changing my dad’s shower chair to a neat potty/shower chair combo. Made of pvc pipe and mesh across the back. It opens over the toilet, has lockable wheels and is open below when the person showers. Allowed us to keep his junk clean, ya know! Check them out- made for less transfers for my dad,too, as he was wheelchair bound. Good luck!!
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When I took care of my dad who had dementia, we got a shower chair that had an opening like a toilet seat. I was able to take the handheld shower and get up under there as he had a very hard time with wiping and needed at least a good weekly cleaning there. Are you able to use cleaning wipes on her daily as well? It’s hard, but there comes a time when modesty must be disposed of for the greater good of health.
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EricaW Feb 2021
I did the same. It's great and the chair stays put in the shower.
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Get a sits bath to put on the toilet fir her , they are cheap and it will keep
her clean . They cost around 13.00 . My husband has dementia . You are going to
have to be the parent now. Don’t give her a choice. She will forget you made her let you clean her. The choices are her getting UTI’s . Which you want to prevent. I’ve had to make my husband get in the shower and walk ect. Even though he says no I no longer give him a choice fir his own good. Sorry your having to go through this but your mother is lucky she has you there for her. Good luck 🙏🙏
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Im assuming she is mobile. And if you don't have a handheld shower head do purchase one. As your mother steps into the shower have her bend over and grab the chair to help steady her .put the shower head on a stronger pressure and wash her private area this should not take but a minute and you may find sores that are festering from not getting clean so this is essential that she gets cleaned. After you have her clean then she can sit down And wash rest of her body.
You can also install a bidet ( more expence) and her backside would be cleaned by the bidet.
Also could get installed walkintub and instead of shower but would take a bath then bottom would be soaking while cleaning rest of body
Hope this helps.
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I tell my Charge she has to stand up and wash. Often she gets frustrated and tells me she already did that. ( Dementia). When she refuses I let it go and soap/ rinse with a wash rag while she sits on the toilet. A few times after the shower she sat down on a towel and when she stood up there was poop on it so I would point out how important it was to do a better job in the shower. Ultimately it appears to be a pride issue. On top of that it appears to be a stability issue. I don’t know if there is a shower stool that has an open bottom but that would be handy.
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For cheap you can use a dish detergent bottle ..rinse and clean it out well, can be used in shower or in toilet, also buy baby magic or some kind of baby wash ..less irritating and cheaper than perk wash ...can dilute it ...also can have one old detergent bottle with diluted wash and one for rinsing off ...make sure area is allowed to dry also.. you can likely also buy this type of container if you don’t like idea of the old dish bottle ..
also of course you would find a hand shower connected to be very helpful and they aren’t difficult to install
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When in the shower.... have her sit on a towel... this gets wet while bathing and can help with that. Also... when she sits on the commode while toileting, I always have a large cup handy and pour warm water from the sink down her behind and front. They can scoot forward or back on the toilet seat and there is usually enough room for me to get my hand down there to clean well with wash cloth and then dry.

If she can stand in the shower, you can usually wash down there.

Also... you can get the rest of them cleaned up this way while they sit on toilet. Don't have to clean everything all in one sitting. Do the most soiled areas first like under breasts, armpits and groin area in one or two sittings. As many times as they normally sit on toilet, you can usually get their whole body cleaned up this way.
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We got mom a cushioned shower chair which has an opening on the seat for just this purpose of cleaning Got it on Amazon. It was a great investment. Has adjustable legs as well which we needed since mom has shrunk quite a bit.
I should add we clean mom with baby wipes after every toliet visit. She is prone to UTIs so we are extremely careful to keep her clean.
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Can your mom stand at all? I'd give my mom (with Alzheimer's) a shower a few times a week too, and she'd hold on to the towel rod so I could dry her. (She could still walk into the shower.) If your mom could hold onto to towel rod, you'd be in a position (and she would too) to wash and dry the area in question.
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 2021
Rlynn, not all towel rods are sturdy enough for a person to lean on. It is important to ensure that they are anchored properly before depending on them.

Some are only attached with drywall anchors and can easily pull off causing a serious fall and damage to the wall.
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Swap out the shower chair for a commode with a fully open bottom. (most you can remove the catch basin). that way you can more easily clean the peri area.
A bidet would help as well but I think you do need a power source near the toilet.
If you are using a barrier cream of any type make sure it is not applied heavily as that can be difficult to remove and a buildup of layers can trap odor and bacteria.
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Gat a bidet attachment for her toilet. Every time she uses the toilet, use the bidet and she will actually be cleaner than just getting a daily shower.
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findbob Feb 2021
What is a bidet. I don’t get the commode in the shower with no bottom?....
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Use baby wipes when she is lying in bed, turn her on her side. Or if you can, use them after she goes to the bathroom. She may not like it.
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We have a hand-held shower sprayer and it has a lower clip on holder that attaches on the wall close to dad's shower chair. Dad can use the hand -held sprayer while sitting on his chair and set it in the holder right on the wall near his chair. He has lots of installed grab bars(3). We have a non- slip tub too.
Hope this helps.
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I soap up the wash cloth and hand it to mom and tell her to clean her private area well.  After she makes that attempt, I take the sprayer and rinse her down really well.  I ask her to spread her legs while seated so that I can spray her and I hold on to her while she is standing and spray her again.  If you are she is unable to do either of those moves, you're going to have to glove up and clean her up yourself... or you could hire it out if you feel uncomfortable.

To keep things a bit cleaner in between showers, you could have some personal wet wipes next to the toilet.  Throw them in a trash bag so they don't clog up your toilet.
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You can’t just expect them to sit there and miraculously clean themselves… You need to have them stand up and either hand them the washcloth to do it for themselves or you do it for them. I had to do things I never thought I would have to do for my mother. There were a few times she ended up with a yeast infection and I literally had to insert medication…
Consider how you would feel if you couldn’t do this for yourself.
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You just have to get used to it. Wear gloves and wash her like you wash yourself. If she cannot do it, you must. You have to make sure she has good pericare to prevent UTI. Just pretend you are washing yourself...you will get used to it. Make certain also there are good grab bars in the shower--those really help a lot.

She may have a UTI because she probably cannot clean herself well after a bowel movement. Since you are asking the best way to clean her periarea, it is possible you are not dealing with cleaning after bowel movements and your mom is having problems with that. That is something you will have to help her with as well. Get plenty of wipes, gloves and ointments. Now I showered mom after her bowel movement. That helped a lot.

ALSO she may not be drinking water well which smelly urine is an indication of dehydration. With dehydration she is high risk of UTI because the urine helps keeps the bladder flushed out and clean. You will need a family conference about the possibility of a feeding tube verses letting her die of dehydration. I got a feeding tube for mom--THAT was a LOT of work to keep clean and free of infection, but worth it because mom did not have to die dehydration, kept her needs met and she really was very comfortable. Mom never attempted to pull it out because I used that as a LAST resort only. Feeding tubes take a LOT of work and care. They are not easy, and you need a lot of education on caring for them and what to look out for.

You seriously need to keep a close eye out how much she is drinking--do THICK IT first if swallowing is becoming more difficult.

That is something you all need to talk about, and estate planning. Also you need to do a pre-planned funeral or cremation. Cremation is much cheaper. I got mom cremated for a thousand dollars. The cheapest burial you can get is around the neighborhood of $10,000.
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Make sure your mom doesn't have a Urinary Tract Infection or a Yeast Infection.

Does your mom's shower chair have little holes all on the top? If not get one that does then
soap up a nice warm wet towel with a very good hygienic soap and let her sit on it, while you shower her.

Give her a wash cloth and have her help wash her private area with a hygiene wash.

Have a extended long spray handle that you can spray her private area.
spray under the chair thru the holes and the towel.

Then after your mom's shower and dried off, let your mom's private area Air Dry more to get fresh air.

Let her keep her underwater off for a period of time every day.

Also, when she goes to the bathroom during the day use a spray bottle with warm water and spritz the area after she urinated and also use a Baby Wipe any pee splashed off the inside of her upper legs.

Then after air drying, put baby powder on her upper leg area and butt, Not Her Vagina area.
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I have never heard of Periwash but I think washing her bottom thoroughly would be easier in the bed. You can try the commode chair too.
Her bottom has to be cleaned everyday due to bacteria and the possibility of UTIs.
I am assuming she cannot stand for a short time holding on to a grab bar?
Do you have a held held shower head for good rinsing?
This is difficult and I wish you good luck.
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There are shower chairs with openings on the seat especially for this problem.
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I think your only answer is just like what someone else answered on here and that is use the commode chair that you can use in the shower.
Take care and I wish you well.
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Dônt. Use Soap Down There. Ít Can C Cause A-- .
U.T.I. If. Not Rinsed Well.
Periwash Is Better
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cetude Feb 2021
I always used soap and water in the shower, but I rinsed very well. I never had a problem with it. When mom became bedridden I had to use periwash. She was bedridden the last 2-1/2 months of her life because she truly forgot how to stand, and it was extremely difficult to get her up before that.

Periwash is VERY expensive--unless she is on hospice.
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Before You Take. Her To Shower. Clean Her Bottom While Shes In Bed With Some Periwash. You
Can Make Homemade Peri Wash. Wipes To. Theres Recipes Ơn Google & Pintrest.
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Texascowgal08 Feb 2021
Guess i have not heard of Periwash. I will have to google it! Thanks!
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Can She Stand Ạt All. ?? Get Some Peri Wash. OR Shaving Cream . Clean That Area it Cuts The Odor
You Dont Need Too Much. Make Sure & Rinse it Off Of Her Really. Really
Good. I Did Certifed Nurse Aid Work For 24 Years. We
Used Ít To Cut The Odor. Ít. Wont. Hurt. Her
Just Rinse Really Really Good
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HI Texascow
I know it have to be hard for you with your mom having Parkinson's. My husband has Parkinson's and his balance is so bad, plus we don't have a walk in shower. I have to give him bed baths now. Please be careful with whatever you decide to use with your mom. It's slippery in the shower. My husband have fallen twice and hurt his shoulder in the shower. I know you already know about slippery in shower. Anyway, I hope whatever you decides works well for you.
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Texascowgal08 Feb 2021
Hey Sylvia,
Mom has a bench chair she sits on so she won't fall. I guide he in to sit. It's just while she is sitting her bottom does not get clean i think. She seems to think her bidet works good but I still smell her. Thanks for your help.
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What JoAnn said.

If your mother isn't able to stand and hold for long enough, there are also shower-proof commodes. You remove the bucket before the person sits down, then you have unrestricted access to the relevant areas which you can wash with the shower head. Dignified it isn't, but boy can you be thorough!
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MargaretMcKen Feb 2021
A slightly different option is a toilet seat raiser, the sort that has arms. I used one in the shower myself after an eye operation that affected my balance. I could easily wash the area by myself, reaching under the seat. That's also the way the NH used for my MIL.
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I had a shower put in for mom and they put a nice grab bar horizonally waist high on the wall. I had a hand held shower head so I would have her stand holding onto the bar with legs apart. I would wash her back end and crevice with soap and water. When I rinsed I would spray her private area with warm water. I never used soap on the private area. It can cause UTIs if soap gets up the urethra. In between baths, I used Huggie baby wipes to clean Mom well after toileting. They are big and thick. I could not bring myself to touch her private area. Had her in my home for 20months and she never had a UTI. She did when she was at the AL.
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Does the shower have grab bars? If yes, you can't get the wash cloth ready, stand mom up and give her bottom a thorough cleaning, rinse and possibly repeat the 1st couple of times.

If no grab bars, get a cheap aluminum walker and have her hold on to that while you do the above.

Putting a soapy, soaked hand towel for her to sit on while other parts are being washed can loosen things up and help make the process quicker when she is standing.

You can also give her a big hug and have her lean into you while you reach around and wash.

No matter what, always give a thorough rinse.

You can hire a bath aid to teach you how to accomplish this and to ensure that you have all the tools you need to make the bathing process easier.
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Texascowgal08 Feb 2021
I got brave and offered to wash her back and stuff this past weekend. The soapy wet towel sounds like a good idea! I will try it the next time we have a shower!
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You could just have her wash with a sitz bath every so often

https://www.amazon.com/Sitz-Baths/b?node=3775341

There are also shower chairs with cut outs

https://www.amazon.com/Padded-Shower-Safety-Hygienic-Backrest/dp/B01F9AGAQ8/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=shower+chair+with+cutout+seat&qid=1613588556&sr=8-1
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Install a hand-held shower head under the normal shower head fixture. This would help reach her "under carriage" better.
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