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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I give the custodial sibling the benefit of the doubt. CM pointed out a good example. If you do see gaps in the care, such as entertainment, treats, specific diet, perhaps you can suggest to your sister how you can fill them.
My SIL isn't very happy with my mother's quality of care, either. She thinks my mother should be up at seven, dressed by eight and hard at her PT by nine every morning. I get my mother up when she feels like it, and only ask her three times if she wants to get dressed on any given day. It's a difference of opinion.
But my mother hasn't had cancer.
Are you not on speaking terms with the resident sibling? How would you say your father is, in terms of how comfortable and well-supported does he feel?
For practical matters, the advice above is all good. To stop worrying unnecessarily, I think you'd be best taking it up with your father and your sibling, preferably both together. Take them round a cake or something.
Depending on the type of insurance your father has, he may qualify for a medication dispensing machine. A nurse fills it once a week or so, and it dispenses medication and alerts the patient at medication time. Very useful.
As far as "the bare minimum", that is sort of vague. I would assume that means something like he gets food, although not always nutritious or on a reliable schedule. He is mostly clean, and his home is mostly clean, but may smell bad at times but is nothing that would be considered a health risk. That sort of thing. If that is the case, I don't think there is a lot you can do. If your father is unhappy with the care being provided, I'm sure you could work with him to change the arrangement. If he doesn't mind the way things are going, then maybe it's best to just let them do things their way.
Your concerns about medications are very valid. Can you call his MD and ask for a visiting nurse once a week? Our VNA was able to get MIL to take her meds on schedule.
When dad was with me he needed 24/7 care , it's a great blessing that surgery helped remove the cancer, and is cancer free, now it's slow and steady healing with alot of changes and maintenance medications, I see that there is no consistency of when they are taken and breakfast can be at 9 am one day 1pm the next. When he first went home he had a routine, seemed motivated and active now things are so off balance now.
Ah yes, my parent was living with me over the summer and fall, once thier last surgery and rehab was complete wanted to go home, at that point my sibling moved in.
What's the story, please? You're currently living with and caring for your parent, who has cancer (I'm sorry to hear that). Presumably somebody wants to change this arrangement? Presumably not you? And presumably you have concerns about this other person's proposal?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
But my mother hasn't had cancer.
Are you not on speaking terms with the resident sibling? How would you say your father is, in terms of how comfortable and well-supported does he feel?
For practical matters, the advice above is all good. To stop worrying unnecessarily, I think you'd be best taking it up with your father and your sibling, preferably both together. Take them round a cake or something.
As far as "the bare minimum", that is sort of vague. I would assume that means something like he gets food, although not always nutritious or on a reliable schedule. He is mostly clean, and his home is mostly clean, but may smell bad at times but is nothing that would be considered a health risk. That sort of thing. If that is the case, I don't think there is a lot you can do. If your father is unhappy with the care being provided, I'm sure you could work with him to change the arrangement. If he doesn't mind the way things are going, then maybe it's best to just let them do things their way.
Please let us know what's going on.