Nervous but about to take the plunge. I teach, but am about to quit my teaching job!!! Is there anything I'm not thinking of?

If I knew then what I know now I would have never come back here.

I do everything and get nothing but sh@t for my reward. Meanwhile the rest of the family do nothing and get everything given to them on a silver platter.

If you think those kids are bad, wait to you see how you are treated as a caregiver.

If teaching is not for you, consider another profession but do you have any ideas what it is to be a caretaker - especially if there are physical and mental problems. It is sheer hell and it gets worse and you will get NO help and have no life. You will be made to feel guilty for all you do for you......DO NOT DO THIS. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO. Take some time off to search your soul and look for other options but please do not go from the frying pan into the fire.

dear choupette,

i think it's very kind of you to help your mother.

just be careful please.
make sure you also can live your life.

don't sacrifice your life.

help yourself and your LOs.

hug!! :)
wishing you well!! :)

OK with relatives who are retired teachers please consider the following:
1) Social security benefits when you are older. Will your state employer pay into social security? 2) Pension at retirement. Will you and your husband have enough? 3) special benefits teachers receive like a TDA 4) continuing education courses offered free to teachers 5) medical benefits including prescription drugs covering what Medicare doesn’t 6) discount travel benefits 7) a union that fights for you. I’m not saying you should stay but I am envious of retired teachers. 😀

Choupette: Imho, this is a mistake for a variety of reasons, e.g. social security, pension, et al.

Just keep up your continuous education for your teacher's job because you want to be able to go back to work if something happens. Being a caregiver is rough, especially if your mom has dementia or Alzheimer's. I think it's a great idea if you hate your job but make sure you and hubby have date nights to relieve the stress. My poor mother passed in April from Alzheimer's and it about ran me and my father into the ground. It's hard, really hard. I wish you luck and I'm really happy for your momma. Also make sure you can still take vacations on a regular basis. It's VERY important for your psyche.

I have not read any of the other comments but just want to let you know.

I did exactly that, I gave up my job to look after mom (was also unhappy at work). At first it was nice to spend time with mom but how I wish I hadn't taken that decision. Financially it's tough (I don't benefit at all), Emotionally it's devastating and mentally it's draining.

Please think carefully before you take that plunge. Believe me your mom, if she follows the pattern of this illness, will become way more stressful than the kids.

It's just so sad that we have to watch someone we love so dearly going through this journey of their lives.

I defended my actions for a long time and took the consequences of my actions but quite frankly if I had it all to do again, I'd make different choices.

I am in love with the way mom used to be (dementia is so cruel) and that's what keeps me going.

Good luck but please don't be impulsive. Give it some serious thought before you take that plunge because once you do, there's no going back.

I love mom dearly but she is now just a fantasy. The real her has already left the planet with the occasional rare exceptions and it's those rare exceptions which I live for.

Good luck once again

I gave up my job as a Director of a preschool to care for my mother full-time. At first I was so happy about it. The idea of not having to get up at 6 o’clock in the morning….not having to deal with all the work politics and BS. Here I am a year and a half later and I’m burned out as a caregiver. I’d give anything to have that job back. Now…..my mother with Alz follows me around asking 500 questions (most repeats) and I can’t even walk outside without her asking me where I’m going. I’m also informed of the outdoor temperature 25 times a day (that is not an exaggeration).

I miss working and being around people all day who understand what I say the first time and give me personal space. However, I don’t have the luxury of another solution. She’s at that stage where she could live in assisted-living but she would need quite a bit of assisting. We live in an area where the cheapest assisted living situation is way more than she can afford. She wouldn’t qualify for Medicaid either. She’s not at the nursing home stage quite yet. I promised my father last year on his deathbed that I would do everything in my power to take care of her as long as I could.

I guess what I’m trying to say is the grass is not always greener!

I haven't read all the comments, but my takeaway is that for the majority of us it's not easy peasy.
Sadly, I walked away from my job of 26 years with the fantasy that caring for Mother would be great. For almost five years, we have no privacy, almost no respite (certainly none since covid) and that is really taxing, not getting a break.
Think about what your personal relationship with her is. I mean dig deep. Was she a nurturing parent? Or was she dismissive? Because these are traits that will surface on the journey. Caring for a dismissive (or covert narcissist), parent is a kind of hell all it's own.
For me, those are what make me think, "If only I'd known."
24/7 caregiving is HARD.

There are so many good points made by many people here. It's important to remember that elder care becomes a bigger and bigger job as time passes and you will be getting older yourself. I ran into this myself. In terms of legal and financial, please make sure you are clear on keeping your finances separate from mother's. If she ever needs Medicaid, this will be important. And separate finances are important for other reasons too: I knew a family through church who brought a parent to live with them - the lady had to be 85+ and I say that because the "kids" were grandparents themselves. They brought mom into the house, took out a gigantic mortgage (for what? who knows?) and decided Grandma would pay the new mortgage from her SS/pension. It lasted a couple of months and Grandma has a debilitating stroke. I can't remember if the elder passed away or had to go to a facility, but in either case, she could not continue paying the exorbitant new mortgage because she was either deceased or in a facility and either scenario would take her SS/pension out of the household equation. The near retirement-age kids had to MOVE out and sell the house as they could not stay there without the elderly lady paying this new mortgage they took out. Daughter asked me "Do you know how hard it is to drive past my old house every day?" I had no reply for her. Make sure you keep good records and that everything balances every month - for you and for your mom.

If you hate dealing with children, you should not be a teacher. I have vivid memories as a kid of teachers who clearly disliked children and always wondered why they were in that line of work?? Also if you think dealing with children exposes you to disrespect, elder care can also be extremely emotionally demanding. Even if your ward is not disrespectful, it can be upsetting to see a person sick and hurting, with increasingly limited mobility. Be sure you set guidelines for work hours, finances, before the needs of your mother start to increase. Many people who are caregivers do this as a side job to supplement a full-time career and do not depend on it for their living income. Make sure your family can withstand the loss of a full-time income.

Update: mom already lives with me. Has medicate. Medicaid. Doesn’t drive. If it became too much I would find her a nice facility. Right now I can provide care she needs. Oh and I have a side hustle”farm” with hubby and farmers market weekends.

Choupette, c'est un prénom très mignon.
Give it a shot.
Planning for time off is brilliant. Make sure to take that time off, even if you have nothing planned. If only to sit in the library with a book, is a dream. It's important.
Everything else will unfold and increase your knowledge. You'll be able to figure out most of it. Ask questions as they come up.

You may want to rethink this. If you stop working, this could affect your social security benefits, medicare and pension.

Altzheimers and dementia are brain diseases that will get worse. You may feel up to the challenge for now because you are not happy with your current employment situation, but I would seriously give this some serious thought.

You can explore a different field of work.