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I think you should talk to the neighbors and the moving moms room to a differnt room is a great idea. No one wants to be woken up every single night like that. Not the neighbors and not you. I hope you have a plan to move her to a facility as mom gets more combative and you are not able to handle her.
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Cover999 Aug 2022
That's when the "fun" begins.
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Melatonin has helped keep my mother calm and sleeping during the night. You may want to ask her doctor if it is appropriate, if she is not already taking it.
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polarbear Aug 2022
Agreed. I didn't need to change my mother's diaper during the night. Once she went to bed around 9 pm with a heavy duty diaper and two additional pads to absorb extra !liquid, she didn't need to be changed until the next morning. I also put a large underpad to protect the bed from getting wet.

No need to wake anyone up during the night.
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I agree with the below responses that something must be done, as it's not fair to your neighbors. I'm also windering...is this fair to YOU? Don't YOU also get awakened every night? What about YOUR sleep?
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BintUmi, the shouting must stop. You must do what you can to keep your mother quiet.

I am sure you'd be very upset if the neighbor made a racket every night and woke you and your mom from a deep sleep..

Suggestions to keep your mother quiet:

Give her something to chew or suck on, a sugar free piece of chewing gum or candy, a frozen flavored ice cube.

Let her watch something interesting while being changed.

Give her a fidgety toy to manipulate so she is distracted and doesn't notice that you're changing her.

Good luck.
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Whilst I understand your situation I too wouldn't be best pleased if I was in the neighbours situation. They may well sympathise with your mums situation too but if their sleep is getting disturbed that's not fair on them and their life which will be just as important to them as yours/yours mums is to you.
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I slept with earplugs all last Friday night because we had gale force winds that were very noisy. I sleep with earplugs if the young folks over the road are having their monthly late night party, and also if my husband is snoring (actually heavy breathing, he doesn’t really snore). My niece worked late shifts in central London, and wore earplugs and an eye mask every sleep for months.

I think that it’s not so good to ignore the neighbors because you don’t like the look of them. They deserve an explanation, and it’s only polite to give one and explain. Perhaps you could include a couple of earplugs with the note, and the details of the midnight session timing when they would help.
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While most everyone here has empathy for your situation, I have to side with the neighbors. Banging on walls may not be the best response, but I’d be mad too if I kept getting woken up by hollering. Maybe you’re used to shouting, but they are not. Just because she shouts for only a short amount of time doesn’t matter… if the shouting wakes them, it’s a disturbance to them and unfair to those around you. Maybe they don’t look friendly because they keep being woken up every night!

This can’t be fun for your mother either. She needs a med to sleep through the night. Or an anti-anxiety med. I doubt she’d need a large dose.
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Cover999 Aug 2022
Then she could be lying in her wee all night.
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If you don’t want to talk to them, at least write a note explaining the problem. Ask if they have any suggestions that might help, because the knocking on the wall makes it even worse.

I wonder if giving mother something to suck might help. Something that tastes nice might do it. Worth a try?
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Cover999 Aug 2022
ROFL, your last paragraph. Explicit minds.
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Well I hope one day you get to be in my caregiver shoes to feel how much your cold hearted answer hurts.
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ZippyZee Aug 2022
Sorry if the truth hurts, but it is what it is. People deserve peace in their own homes, and she's denying them that. Move her bed or put her in a nursing home where she belongs. If she's renting she could very likely get evicted for disturbing the peace if this doesn't stop.
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I agree with the neighbor, being woken up past midnight due to a screaming demented elder would make me bang walls too. Yes, they very much can, and probably should call the police if the issue is not resolved. She's disturbing the peace.

Maybe move her bed to a different room, as far away from them as possible.
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