Another attempt to get a plan in place.
Made a Doctor's appointment today with my sister's new General Practice Doctor. I realise the Doc can't talk to me but explained to the receptionist my sister has special needs & I had big concerns about her. I wanted to get advise re POA / Guardianship & fill Doctor in * ie ME talk TO the Doc. Doc just takes notes & can verify/ask my sister as she wishes *
Receptionist now called to cancel appointment. Doctor will not see me alone. Can see only me if I come with my sister. Can't bring sister as #1 she won't go. Even when she does go (eg when scripts are due) #2 I won't take her due to her new spasmodic fecal incontinence problem. Already urinary incontinent, falls risk & too hard to get in/out of my car. A support worker takes her now. I suppose I could meet her there (if I was advised when next apt is)?
All advice comes to this: Have to let it go. Let the chips fall. Float on by. Ride off into the sunset.
I am struggling with this... Already wrote to Doctor. Maybe I should write another letter? - send to Sister, Dad, Doctor, Psychiatrist & Care Coordinator.
Then just wait for *the fall*. Let the Social Worker make a plan. Learn to float & ride until then? Then get capacity tested & guardianship if required.
Is there any other option left????
I will indeed think very carefully about Guardianship if that day comes. If she is in AL or NH & I can *manage* her care needs from afar but NOT if it is supporting her in her current way. She has mild intellectual disability, schzophrenia, depression (both well controlled) & major stroke deficits. Eats poorly, obese, hardly any exercise so the big chronic lifestyle diseases are coming too (more strokes, heart disease, diabetes). Memory a bit *off* so chance of dementia probably in the mix too. Her newest symptom (black tarry BMs) may just be iron tabs but also internal bleeding - needs a medical opinion. Hence my attempt at seeing her Doctor.
I think this is *self-neglect* (unless proved incapable), then it's *neglect* by my parents (Mum has a Doctor's letter stating she us competent to make decisions for HERSELF). Dad IS competent (just stubborn? naive?) This is where I think I need an Elder-care lawyer or Social Worker to explain this to Dad.
When asked by a nurse if she had any plans for herself in case she got sick she said "but I'm not sick now".
When asked "who would make desicions for you if you couldn't?" Got "I don't know". Asked "would it be a good idea to do that?" Answer "I suppose". Here is a form. The screwed up face. Form ignored.
She blamed me for the awful dental xray I made her have because the machine was yucky & the day was too hot. I have explained I merely drove her & the Dentist requested it. But that's her level of understanding.
Yes, you are SO right. I need to Stand Up & Get Off The Bus. Hmm, standing up for myself... maybe that has been the problem all along.
Guardianship is the only way to go at this point if sister can't assign POA. Its expensive. I doubt if sister has the money. Guardianship carries a lot of responsibility. You answer to the state. Once gotten, very hard to revolk. Me personally, I would allow the state to take over her care. If you are still caring for ur parents, you have enough on your plate. The State can move faster in getting sister into LTC and other resources she may need. In the case of my Nephew (who I have POAs for) I have told my daughters if something happens to me, let the state take over.
Technically even if you got a doctor to come to her they can not give you any information without her consent to do so.
I think if you contacted a lawyer and he or she came to the house they would not have a problem starting Guardianship procedure. It does not necessarily take a doctors letter to confirm incapacity.