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Please do not equate bitter with divorced.  It is insulting to women.   It may be your mom, it is not everyone  

YOU decide if burden falls on you, not your mom.  Agree with PP, look into state programs.  Also, if she takes advice from you, no more pets.
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You need to find out if mom's state's Medicaid program has a program by which they will pay for AL or in home care. Sometimes these are called Waiver programs.

It may be worth mom's while to get a consult with an eldercare attorney who is knowledgable about Medicaid in her state.

Remind yourself and your sisters that mom's lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for YOU.

When mom demands that you guys care for her or wants to move in with you, you need to remember to say firmly "no, mom, I can't possibly do that". Do not make excuses or dance around your "no". Make your position clear.

I'm sorry if this sounds heartless. It's called knowing your tolerance for craziness and having healthy boundaries in your life.
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ArtistDaughter Jul 2020
Good advice, except I would just like to point out that there are many people who work their entire lives on minimum wage and cannot make the sort of plans you refer to. It is not the responsibility of their children, I agree, to financially care for them in their later years, but it is also not necessarily the fault of those who do not have resources for their own care. It is not always a lack of planning, rather the circumstances they have been unfairly dealt.
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