Our Mother is 70 and working from home now. She has asthma and eventually will not be able to take care of herself. She is bitter (divorced) and has no money or preparations for her next phase in life. We (her 3 daughters) are not wealthy, but know we need to come up with a plan (financially). Mom refuses to talk about it and could care less that the burden has fallen on us three. Where do we start in this process?
YOU decide if burden falls on you, not your mom. Agree with PP, look into state programs. Also, if she takes advice from you, no more pets.
It may be worth mom's while to get a consult with an eldercare attorney who is knowledgable about Medicaid in her state.
Remind yourself and your sisters that mom's lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for YOU.
When mom demands that you guys care for her or wants to move in with you, you need to remember to say firmly "no, mom, I can't possibly do that". Do not make excuses or dance around your "no". Make your position clear.
I'm sorry if this sounds heartless. It's called knowing your tolerance for craziness and having healthy boundaries in your life.