I can't get her to do anything. My mother was with my sister in N.C for 8 mos. She will be with me now. All she does is sleep day and night. I can't get her to do anything. Is this normal? I am very worried and frustrated. I have trouble also getting her to eat. The Dr. say it is ok to let her sleep but I find it hard to believe as back in Oct she was not doing this. She has deteriorated since she has been with my sister in N.C. I just feel that all this sleep is not normal and there is something else that I could be doing to help her get past it. Please does anyone have suggetions?
I do my best to keep her engaged in activities that she enjoys. When there is an event she wants to get up for such as church, doctors appt, bridge game, it's like pulling teeth to get her up and ready.
What else can I do? I'm afraid all this sleeping is going to lead to other health problems.
When she came to spend the winter with us for the third year, she never dressed and spent most of her time in bed.
She just moved into an independent living facility with meals in the dining room. She dresses every day, showers with the help of an available CNA, and is visiting.Having new people to meet seems to help.
Looks like a classic case of severe depression, but I'd also take a good look at all the medications she's taking. They might be knocking her out and rendering her too tired to have a bite.
DON'T let her waste away. She must be evaluated immediately. Good luck.
I tend to think "Fine! You like to be in bed; be in bed. I just want you to be happy." When I spend a week with her, I sew and do projects; she likes me to show her my progress regularly. She is a very nice mom. I love her so much.
I told her "playing cards between 7:00 and 9:00 pm is enough for me, OK?" She goes to a center 3 days /week from 9:00 to 3:00.
But those doctors pile guilt and worries on me when they claim that sleeping during the day will lead to weaker bones, poor balance, creating a bad cycle of inactivity both mentally and physically. When I tell her that, she says "I'm the one who is 94. I do what a 94 years old body can do."
What is the real problem here? Has being active become a must, the only way of living? Some people meditate and it's OK. Why can't old people enjoy taking it easy in bed? Why do we immediately fear depression?
What if our old parents were allowed to relax in bed, do a 5 minutes of stretching exercises before each meal and do as they please?
A contact with people every day, family visiting every Saturday and Sunday, and the rest, - well -, weaker bones and poor balance is what getting older and older do to our bodies. Are we supposed to die on the treadmill?
When I ask my mom, it goes nowhere. She just wants to be nice to me; discussing a point is no longer important for her. It's like all she wants is hearing our voices, smiling back, hugs. Between visits, she just waits for the next one. Time has a different meaning for her than for us. I have things to do, but she doesn't; I have energy, she doesn't. It seems to make all the difference in our respective world.
Fortunately our caregiver's husband was available part time and had experience AND agreed to help out. That's when his behavior began to change. He would stay awake for longer and longer periods of time. I think it was because he had a companion and his companion initiated activities --- engaged Dad in things Dad liked to do. Dad likes crossword puzzles, trivia games, doing searches on the internet --- Google earth takes you anywhere you want to go and he especially likes to go to the town he grew up in -- looking at old pictures.
We're now on the 5th month that he has been waking up in the morning and staying awake until about 4pm when he takes a nap before dinner ... then stays up until bedtime.
See All Answers