Had a much more pleasant visit with Mom today AFTER taking the advise of everyone on the forum who answered my post.
Our visit last an hour. She was not very good mood when I arrived and I noticed she had packed some of her personal photos and such, all stacked on her dresser, but I ignored it.
I had brought her a book Eries of 'Call of the midwife'. She loves to read and she herself wad a nurse back on the day. She was thankful for the books, then she said she had some things she wanted to say to me... So I told her I would listen and not interrupt her. For the next near 45 mins she complained of AL and went over and over how she can care for herself in her own home.
I let her talk and I didn't react. I really just agreed with everything she said to keep the peae.When she started berating my brother, who ha done SO much for her and began repeating everything, I made a rather quick exit.
Said 'oh my, I have been here an hour and IO need to get home and start dinner, I love you and will see you again soon', then I left. She seemed to understand I needed to go.
This is the FIRST time I ever felt confident leaving and not feeling so guilty thanks to all of you and your advise and support. nI shared this site with my brother and he may even chime in. Meanwhile, I'll still be here off and on, to help support as you all supported me. :)
Good on you. This is just how it is going to be. She won't change. And you have to make it as easy on yourself as you can. Next time hit her with the bomb of a couple of compliments. Like "Mom are you using a cream on your face? You look so much younger to me today". Go ahead. MAKE HER DAY. She will spend the rest of the day telling EVERYONE who will listen that her daughter says she is looking YOUNGER every day.
Blessings on you, Mary.
Good work! It sounds like you made some progress and were able to leave in time confidently and not feeling guilty! Hopefully you will continue to make further strides in this !
I wish you a Happier 2024! You got this!